Your attitude will not always reflect in your behaviour and your behaviour will not always be the result of your attitude.
How many times have you thought of beating someone up, robbing a bank, or blowing up the house of that lecturer who made your life miserable while you were in school?
Probably many times. But did you ever do it?
Now think of the time you beat someone up, made someone's life miserable or stole something, did you do it because you wanted to do it or was it a combination of circumstances, adrenaline and temporary insanity?
The truth is, just like character, a person's attitude is hidden and concealed. For this reason, people can totally fake their attitude.
Someone can hate you and still act friendly towards you. And on the contrary, someone can love you and treat you like crap.
In both situations, they are trying to hide how they really feel about you.
People will often engage in behaviours that not reflect their attitude. As a matter of fact people often act upon someone else's attitude. One person can influence the behaviour of a group of people, who on their own wouldn't engage in those actions.
Think of gangs, jungle justice, gang rape, war, genocide, etc.
How many people can on their own would carry a gun and kill a person or a bunch of people? Or set someone ablaze? Or rape?
People act out of peer pressure, the need to conform and to be accepted, and that makes it hard to tell what someone's attitude really is.
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Is there a way to know what someone's attitude really is?
Unlike character that can take years and a huge amount of data to decipher, you can spot someone's attitude from a single interaction, if you are attentive enough.
People can fake their words and their gestures, but they cannot fake their body language. It takes a lot of self awareness, control and practise for one to be able to fake body language. And I doubt people spend their free time in front of the mirror training their bodies to not react in a certain way when they are exposed to specific situations and people.
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Can you tell someone's character from their attitude?
No, you can't.
Because attitude is shaped by experience and it's specific to that situation and that person, you cannot effectively collect reliable data by observing someone's attitude.
Let me give you an example.
John and Paul are having a conversation. John asks Paul a question, and Paul gives John an answer. From from Paul's body language, you can tell that he is lying.
Is that enough to say that Paul is a liar? I'd say no.
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What about behaviour? Can behaviour tell a person's character?
It can, if you are willing to go Big Brother on them. It's not sufficient that you observe how a person behaves in many different situations, with many different people, you must also observe them in their private moments. That's when people really say what they mean and do what they want.
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What about personality? How does your personality influence your attitude and your behaviour?
Your personality does not influence your attitude, but it can influence your behaviour to a large extent.
Example: Someone has just bumped into your car and has refused to apologise.
You are angry and want to punch the person (attitude), but you maintain your cool and call for enforcement (behaviour). When the police arrives, you narrate what happened (you are neurotic) and the police doubts your story because of how anxious you sound (you are an honest person).
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Personality, character, attitude and behaviour: they are all you, they all matter, but they are all also complicated as fuck.
---------------------
Question: Have you ever acted out of peer pressure? Do you always act according to your attitude?
Write your answer in the comment section.
How many times have you thought of beating someone up, robbing a bank, or blowing up the house of that lecturer who made your life miserable while you were in school?
Probably many times. But did you ever do it?
Now think of the time you beat someone up, made someone's life miserable or stole something, did you do it because you wanted to do it or was it a combination of circumstances, adrenaline and temporary insanity?
The truth is, just like character, a person's attitude is hidden and concealed. For this reason, people can totally fake their attitude.
Someone can hate you and still act friendly towards you. And on the contrary, someone can love you and treat you like crap.
In both situations, they are trying to hide how they really feel about you.
People will often engage in behaviours that not reflect their attitude. As a matter of fact people often act upon someone else's attitude. One person can influence the behaviour of a group of people, who on their own wouldn't engage in those actions.
Think of gangs, jungle justice, gang rape, war, genocide, etc.
How many people can on their own would carry a gun and kill a person or a bunch of people? Or set someone ablaze? Or rape?
People act out of peer pressure, the need to conform and to be accepted, and that makes it hard to tell what someone's attitude really is.
------------------------
Is there a way to know what someone's attitude really is?
Unlike character that can take years and a huge amount of data to decipher, you can spot someone's attitude from a single interaction, if you are attentive enough.
People can fake their words and their gestures, but they cannot fake their body language. It takes a lot of self awareness, control and practise for one to be able to fake body language. And I doubt people spend their free time in front of the mirror training their bodies to not react in a certain way when they are exposed to specific situations and people.
--------------------------
Can you tell someone's character from their attitude?
No, you can't.
Because attitude is shaped by experience and it's specific to that situation and that person, you cannot effectively collect reliable data by observing someone's attitude.
Let me give you an example.
John and Paul are having a conversation. John asks Paul a question, and Paul gives John an answer. From from Paul's body language, you can tell that he is lying.
Is that enough to say that Paul is a liar? I'd say no.
--------------------
What about behaviour? Can behaviour tell a person's character?
It can, if you are willing to go Big Brother on them. It's not sufficient that you observe how a person behaves in many different situations, with many different people, you must also observe them in their private moments. That's when people really say what they mean and do what they want.
--------------------
What about personality? How does your personality influence your attitude and your behaviour?
Your personality does not influence your attitude, but it can influence your behaviour to a large extent.
Example: Someone has just bumped into your car and has refused to apologise.
You are angry and want to punch the person (attitude), but you maintain your cool and call for enforcement (behaviour). When the police arrives, you narrate what happened (you are neurotic) and the police doubts your story because of how anxious you sound (you are an honest person).
-------------------
Personality, character, attitude and behaviour: they are all you, they all matter, but they are all also complicated as fuck.
---------------------
Question: Have you ever acted out of peer pressure? Do you always act according to your attitude?
Write your answer in the comment section.
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