WE SHOULD FOCUS ON CREATING ANTI-DISCRIMINATION LAW

Discrimination as a cultural phenomenon will always continue to exist across the world because people will always have preferences and opinions based on ignorance and misinformation. But what we can do to curb it, is to create institutions that will uphold equality for everybody irrespective of our biological and social differences. For example, the west has managed in the course of centuries - through wars, revolutions, protests, marches -  to create laws that have stopped discrimination from becoming systematic.

When discrimination finds its way into our parliaments and courtrooms, what we witness are horrific forms of injustice that should never happen in a supposed civilised world like ours: apartheid, genocide, segregation, holocaust, etc.

The state has one important obligation: to protect, rule and judge her citizens with objectivity and impartiality because if the state allows the fear and the opinions of the masses to rule, we will end up with chaos and Nigeria.

So, while we tackle issues inside the society with the attempt to change mindset and trigger a psychological and social revolution, we also need to push our representatives into the system.

We can start by creating an association. I'm not talking about Women's Affair or all those NGOs. I'm talking about an association that is aimed strictly and uniquely at politics. Most feminists are people who are academically and professionally accomplished. We have the resources to finance this kind of association and we have the knowledge required to conquer the system.

Remember the Suffragettes? They had a name and a purpose. And they went for it.

Our purpose: win seats for feminists in parliament.

We need to do this. We need to focus on one goal, nail it and start working our way from there.

This is how badly I want a change and I want to know that you want it badly too.

RESPECTFUL CHILDREN DON'T LAUGH

There was a day I was watching this Nollywood movie with my mother and one of her friends.

In the movie, a teenage girl was dating a much older guy. When the father found out about the relationship she denied blatantly right in front of the man, who was insisting that he was indeed her boyfriend.

My mother and her friend hailed the girl as a respectful child. I challenged them and told them that she was not being respectful but afraid. If she had respected her parents she wouldn't have insulted their intelligence by denying something so obvious.

Nigerian parents think that fear is the same as respect. When your child cannot even breathe or talk in your presence, you think you have succeeded in raising a disciplined child, whereas your child is actually pusillanimous. Those kids grow up to be social nuisances who can't interact maturely with other people. They become extremely cunning and manipulative, typical of sociopaths and pathological liars. They are usually the lead promoters and perpetrators of abuse.

I had an abusive mother who tried to use fear to control me. But I challenged her and chose a different path instead. The only time I resort to using fear to put someone in their place is when they don't respond to a mature and respectful dialogue.

Fear has never worked on me. It only triggers my instinct to annihilate the person completely. I'm a very vengeful person. I don't forgive and I don't forget.

Fear can only breed two types of people: cowards or devils.

And trust me, one is just as bad as the other.

TYPE OF PROSTITUTES AND HOW TO UP YOUR GAME

Prostitution as defined by Oxford Dictionaries is the practise or occupation of engaging in sexual activity with someone for payment.

Notice that the dictionary does not say money, it says payments and as you all know payment can occur in various forms. So as long as you exchange sex for any gain, whatever nature that is, you fall under the definition of a prostitute.

Because of its history and how it's been presented to us in popular culture and movies, the moment we hear the word prostitute, we immediately picture a woman dressed in scanty clothes, standing by the roadside or in a dark alley, where she can easily consume her illicit affair with her customers. We think of a prostitute as a woman who is emotionally damaged, poor and uneducated, who will never make it in life or live a normal life after she's decided that her body can no longer take all those numerous sexual exploits. We also think of diseases and a life that is hung on a thin thread, which is just one angry customer away from being broken.

But prostitution, just like any other profession, has evolved. It has gone from being the last resort of a poor village girl who emigrated to the city, to being the profession of the highly educated person, who wants all the fanciful and the beautiful without worrying much of their pretty little heads.

And unlike what the popular belief suggests, a prostitute can be a man or a woman.

There are different types of prostitutes and they all tell a lot about the level of intelligence and education of the person involved.

1. Ashawo: this is the stereotype of the prostitute. Works on the streets at night or in a brothel, dresses scantily, lives in an impoverished area and prays night and a day for a good man to come and rescue her. As you'd imagine, she doesn't have much to offer in terms of education and skills, She could be smart but since she has never had the chance to study, all her talents will eventually go wasted.

2. Legitimate prostitute: many will disagree with this because it's allowed in our society but it is still what it is. If you date someone for the sole purpose of having financial security, while in exchange you provide sex, then you are still a prostitute. The circumstances surrounding the transaction do not stop the transaction from being what it is.

3. Social climber: a social climber is legitimate prostitute who aims at marrying a rich person to secure themselves an important social status and earn the respect they think they deserve. They are prostitutes because every sexual activity they engage in, is either preceded by an expensive gift or an encouragement for one. Social climbers will date several rich people during their lifetime and they will perfect their art to attract la crème de la crème of the society. As you would imagine, even though these prostitutes might not be highly educated, they are usually very charismatic and good looking.

4, Runs girl: she is the university student who wants to be fabulous while attending lectures. In constant competition with other girls, she would do just about anything to be the happening babe on campus. Runs girls hardly go to the university for the glory of a certificate but the prestige of being a student is what attracts most of their customers. A runs girl is the average fashionable girl, not particularly intelligent, but very street smart.

5. Mistress/lover: a runs girl can become a mistress or any woman can become a mistress, but the truth still remains the same. These men and women are dating married people who are not dating them because they are exceptional, but because they offer the kind of sexual gratification that their spouses can't give them. Many will disagree that a lover is prostitute, but again, circumstances don't matter. The nature of the transaction between the married person and their lover does.

6. Escort: escort is the international name for our runs girl, but unlike our runs girl, an escort can be a man or a woman who has either been out of university for years or who has never even been there but holds at least a diploma or who just wants a part time profession to support themselves. Escorts can be pornstars, students, graduates or even housewives. Escorts earn good money, live in nice apartments, dress tastefully (maybe not the porn stars) and have a fixed and affectionate clientele. An escort won't come out and say "I'm an escort" but they sure know how to flaunt their money. Escorts can be self employed or part of an agency but I believe that, like every hardworking professional, they dream of the day they will go solo or even start their own agency.

7. Courtesan: a courtesan is a high class escort. They have been in the profession for years and have managed to secure a few but wealthy and generous clientele. It might sound like an oxymoron, but they do not fuck around. They are rich, classy and have managed to carve themselves a place of respect among the rich and famous.

8. Sugargirl/Sugarboy: They are young, they are good looking and they only date wealthy men and women. Unlike lovers who are compelled to be faithful to their married boyfriend or girlfriends, sugarbabies are allowed to be in serious relationships with other people and their sugarparents usually do not have problems with that. Their partners are mostly people who can't afford their financial demands, so their sugarparents don't consider them a threat.

I believe there are many other ways people can practise prostitution, but these are the most common. Prostitution is a job. You might think it's immoral and degrading but there are men and women who are just happy to do what they are doing, as long as they get their money.

At the end of the day, it's their body, right?

PS: A lot of men and women might not agree with the term prostitute because they think it's demeaning or because they do not explicitly ask for a payment for their sexual performances but I believe the earlier you know where you stand,  the earler you will understand what you need to do to upgrade and start earning more money.

WHO IS A BIG GIRL

Is she the girl with the most expensive weave?
Is she the girl with the most expensive clothes?
Is she the girl with the most expensive shoes and bags?
Is she the girl with the most expensive fashion accessories?
Is she the girl with the most expensive mobile phone?
Is she the girl with the most expensive perfume?
Is she the girl with the longest acrylics?
Is she the girl with the most powdered face?

I don't dig this definition of a big girl but guys do. These girls get attention from guys so guys have to compete all the time to get her own attention. And men love competition. If you are a girl and you don't have competitors, you are not hot enough. Forget all the shit about being faithful, serious minded and focused. If a man senses you can leave him today and have another tomorrow, he will treat you better and respect you more. It doesn't matter if you intentionally keep guys off or not, as long as there is no spare Peter around, main John will feel he can mess around and get away with it. So what do you do? Become a BIG GIRL. It doesn't matter whether you are naturally pretty/endowed or not, it is all about packaging. Package yourself and flaunt yourself. Get the attention and set a competition and you will get the respect and care you want.

Ridiculous, isn't it? But you know, it is a man's world and if you want to get noticed, you have to become their own definition of a BIG GIRL.

DECENT VS INAPPROPRIATE

There is a difference between indecent dressing and inappropriate dressing. The former denotes moral judgement, while the latter is just a fashion statement.

You see, the kind of women who usually condemn another woman for indecent dressing, in 99.9% of the cases, do so out of envy. They couldn't pull off what that other woman was wearing: not in this life and not in their imagination.

Look at the women insulting Tboss for exposing her body and parading almost naked inside the house; most of them are fat. Even that lawyer is fat. They are insecure about their body and can't understand why another woman would take so much liberty with hers. Only women who are not confident pull down other women.

Men and women who are fond of calling out indecent dressing will always find a way to blame the victim. The women do it out of envy and the men do it because they didn't get to be the one to do it.

Any man who supports a rapist is either a rapist himself or a potential rapist. These are the type of men that hate that woman they cannot have. They would be willing to rape her just to teach her a lesson.

These men and women are misogynists. Uzzy Abakz is a misogynist. They can't tolerate confident women. They believe women who get attention should be taught humility.

Uzzy's words are loud and clear: Tboss deserves what she got. And her rapist friends and supporters agree.

If Tboss were ugly, they wouldn't bother with her. After all "wetin Kemen go see for her body"?

So in case you haven't noticed, this is just the case of beauty being envied by beasts.

SHE'S PRETTY BECAUSE SHE'S LIGHT SKINNED

I don't understand people's need to say:

"She is pretty because she is light skinned."
"Do you think you are pretty because you are light skinned?"

Some go as far as photoshopping the girl's colour to see if she would still be pretty as a dark skinned. Na wa o. Must an African girl be dark skinned to be considered "really" pretty?

Come and see girls hating on youtube because the girls in the videos are light skinned.

See these same girls cheering because someone else used dark skinned girls.

Truth is who fine don fine finish. Beauty is not just about colour: it's about everything.

Stop discrediting light skinned girls because you think saying that they look good would make you a colonial slave. You are a colonial slave when you decide light skinned girls don't have the right to feel pretty as much as their dark skinned counterparts. We have invented terms like black beauty, ebony beauty or dark horse to celebrate dark skinned.

But if someone says yellow sissy or yellow pawpaw you will say girls spitting fire left and right.

Na wa o. Nor be so e suppose be.

OUR COUNTRY IS WEEK BECAUSE OUR FOUNDATIONS ARE WEAK

Nigeria is failing as a state because the citizens are failing as individuals.

The strength of a building lies in the strength of the single brick. And that's why those bricks should be the most important investment. No matter how good the design is and how much work is put into erecting the structure, if the prime material is weak, the entire structure will eventually collapse.

Show me a country that is failing and I will show you a country that is not making use of her citizens. Greed has led our leaders to believe that a few can successfully run a nation and that a nation of ignorant is easier to lead.

The West learnt at their own peril what it meant to govern a country ridden by illiteracy, over-religiosity and silly cultural practices, which is why they started investing in education. Free education was not not just an act of justice; it was first and foremost, a strategy to make sure that at least 80% of the population would become productive at the completion of the equivalent of our secondary school.

Most of the billionaires in America did not even attend college and many others dropped out. Tell me, if that is not something to ponder on.

Nigeria gives so much importance to education, yet not everybody can afford it, some are even denied access, and the system is so bad and so corrupt that even the few who manage to push through public universities, have to rely on their personal abilities, because most of the time, these institutions do not give a hoot about them.

How can we succeed in raising confident citizens who will later go on to contribute to making the state greater?

The average Nigerian thrives on insecurity. Forget our loud mouths. That's just arrogance and arrogant people rarely have anything to show for it.

We need to start raising our children to be strong, assertive, independent and autonomous. Critical thinking is fundamental. A strong sense of individuality is even better than a university degree. Instill your children with confidence.

This is the only way we can save our country.

REASON LIKE A LEADER

People need to stop reasoning like the common man and start reasoning like a leader.

You wouldn't take just anyone into your home, so why do you expect the leaders of those countries to do the same?

God knows that if I were the leader of a country, I would be hated by all the poverty stricken and war torn countries. But my people would feel safe, because as a good leader my priority would be to protect everyone under my care.

Fuck diplomacy and international ass licking. If there is the slightest risk of letting terrorists into my country, everyone stays out. One terrorist in means another two or three recruits in the country and it took just 4 people to gun down 80 and wound another 120 in that concert hall.

I'd be deaf to not all Muslims are terrorists (I don't care and it's not my business. If someone was spoiling my name and damaging the sacrality of my creed, I'd put them six feet under. But the Muslims are not doing that so why the fuck should I make that my problem?).

Borders closed and citizens safe. If you want my army, they will only come out to fight if millions of muslims will be standing on the frontline too. They are always boasting of being 2 billion. They can sacrifice a million or two.

If I were a leader, I would be no religion's bitch.

THE STRUGGLE TO BE OBJECTIVE

I try as much as possible to be objective, to think of everyone as equal, as having equal opportunities and rights, but most times I am forced to shape my objectivity in accordance to societal norms. I am faced with constant dilemmas between what is right and what is right in that particular environment. However I am relieved that I am not the only one and that shaping of objectivity is being practised even by juridical and judicial standards. Let me make a few examples.

Edward made a post about girls getting pregnant for married men. I think he should have said a married and his mistress irresponsibly engage in unprotected sex, which leads to a pregnancy. This would be being impartial. The blame would be on both and both would face equal share of responsibility, but, unfortunately societal norms state otherwise. As far as Nigeria is concerned, it is not unusual or even condemnable for a married man to have sex outside wedlock, neither is it such a big deal that the affair produced an illegitimate child. By social norms, the lady carries 80% of the blame, because "She opened her legs for a married man" and "She doesn't have regards for another fellow woman". What am I supposed to say in situations like this?

Nsikak posted she can't date a poor or jobless guy. Now objectively we are all entitled to love and to be loved. Those are equal rights and opportunities for everyone, yet reality differs. I used to be of the idea that the financial situation of a man was not relevant in a relationship, but then I was a teenager. I was not financially independent and by default I thought I would be a hypocrite to demand financial autonomy from a date. Now? Now things have changed. I can't date a broke or jobless guy. My motto is "Man wey nor get finance, nor get business with romance". They complain and whine all the time. They bore the hell out of you and somehow expect you to do stuff for them. I remember an ex who used to say I didn't care because I wouldn't use my money to cook for him. My dear, e never reach that level. A friend of mine called me days ago asking me he could use my house to host a ladyfriend of his, because he can't afford to pay for a hotel room. My dear, e still never reach that level. No money for hand, no pant for ground.

On Ally McBeal, there was an episode of a fat man who fell in love with the protagonist: a skinny woman called Ally Mcbeal. The fat guy also had a love interest: a fat woman. Now Ally told the fat man he had the right to fall in love with whomever he wanted and that he could ask the woman out on a date, but guess what? He did and he was turned down because Ally does not like fat men. Now his fat girlfriend goes to Ally and asks her: "You tell a fat man he can love whom he wants and that he can try with whomever he likes, but what are the chances that a slim woman like you, will actually by attracted to someone like him? Don't you think that after all his possibilities are limited and I am one of those possibilities, because I am also fat?"

Yeah being objective and impartial is an honourable thing: it helps you build strong principles and makes you hardly influenceable, but when we step out of our houses, we have to face the world, where people are unfair, where we have double standards, where they tell you this is what you can have and that is what you can't have. The world is a chaotic mess of lies, hypocrisy and injustice and even though I hate to admit it, I am part of the world.

DO AFRICANS KNOW WHAT RESPECT IS?

I'm sorry but Africa is a failed continent. Single respect we nor get. Charity begins at home. When we go abroad we start complaining of racist remarks but the truth is we don't have manners at all. We are rude and arrogant and believe we owe respect only to those above us, but i can't entirely blame us. It's the way we were brought up.

Children respect your older siblings, elders and parents but they don't have to respect you.

Citizen respect authorities and the government but they don't have to respect you.

So when we grow up and become those parents, elders, authorities and government, we feel safe. Now it's our turn to be respected but we don't owe anyone respect.

Africans will always receive bad service, people will always shun them during conversations and they will be the last choice in terms of privileged positions because they will always misuse it because them nor get respect.

We should start a whole new culture: multilateral respect. Let's implement it and enforce it and in the next 20 years we will see all these racist accusations by Africans against foreigners will lessen. Because even me i be racist against African customers. Imagine one idiot telling me "Oya sauce". She even roll her eyes and turn her back for me. Kai.

God help Africa for real.

LET'S TALK ABOUT GRATITUDE

I understand the concept of gratitude. Someone does something good for you or for someone you care about, you thank them and you try your best not to make them regret helping out.

But in Nigeria, I understand gratitude means something different: someone does something for you and you spend the rest of your life paying back with favours and always putting up with every nasty thing they do to you, because they were once nice to you. At this point you start regretting ever accepting their help.

I was in that situation more than once. In particular, I regretted ever accepting any form of help from this relation, because he made me feel miserable even if it was just £4 he gave me for my bus fare. When we parted ways I was relieved and honestly, I don't even dream in my most insane and desperate moments to go to him for help. I would rather DIE!

I am a grateful person and if you help me, I will always remember. But if you make me feel miserable or start mocking me, I will tell you thank you, then I will follow up with a fuck you.

COMPLETE THE PUZZLE

We all are a puzzle and we can be made of tens, hundreds, thousands or even millions of pieces. These pieces are as our experiences, knowledge, encounters, dreams, ambitions, possession, desires and anything that belongs to us or that we wish to acquire. The most beautiful thing is that we all are also a piece in another puzzle.

What we must keep in mind is that all these pieces are never the same in size, shape and colour and that we can never be complete as long as we live. We can just try to collect as many pieces as possible, so we can make the most wonderful puzzle we can be.

As a puzzle we will be as strong and compact as strong and compact the edges of our pieces are: the better they fit and merge together, the more secure and confident we will be when adding more pieces to it.

I am a puzzle of thousands of pieces and someday I will make it to a magnificent million.

BISEXUAL OR BI-CURIOUS? 🤔

I have been asked if I'm attracted to women because of the way I talk about them and admire them.

Well, I think women are beautiful. I have a soft spot for curvy darkinned ladies. I like looking at beautiful women on instagram. I like their pictures and sometimes share them with friends, mostly male. I have no problem saying how attractive a woman is, if I think she is.

Personally I have no problem with being called a lesbian. It does nothing to me and does not offend me. But it offends me when someone wants to force me to say I'm a lesbian because that's the only way they can explain my admiration for women.

I had this friend who wanted me to admit I was a lesbian at all costs. He kept telling me to try and date women because it's obvious dating men was not working for me and also I like women.

I had to explain to him that I just like women but I have no desire to have sex with them. It doesn't depend on me. I'm sexually attracted to men. I don't see myself getting into bed with a woman, fingering her or giving her head. Those are things I want a man to do to me.

Sexuality is a very complex issue and it goes beyond a simple admiration for a gender. Even among your prefered gender, you will still meet a lot of beautiful ones you won't find attractive enough to date or sleep with.

So no, I'm not gay but whenever I see a beautiful woman I will always stop and stare.

Besides, who nor like better thing?

WOULD YOU CHASE AFTER THE MADMAN?

You are at the Stream bathing naked when a mad man steals your clothes and runs away with them. What do you do: do you run after him or do you hide and call for help?

The truth is this is a lose-lose situation. But you can make transform it into a win for next time.

You are naked, whether you like it or not someone will see your nakedness. Whether you decide to call for help or run after the madman, the truth is, whatever choice you make, you have already been deprived off your cover and have been exposed to the world.

The situation is what it is.

On the one hand, if you decide to wait until the coast is clear, you will have to wait untill sunset to start making your way home. Which means that you will be exposing yourself to further danger by walking on all alone at night when there is nobody around to help you if you fall victim of an attack. It will also take you longer to get home as it is dark, and you do not want to attract attention by taking well illuminated paths.

On the other hand, if you decide to run after the madman, you have two possible outcomes: it's either you catch up with the madman and retrieve your clothes or you fail to catch up with the madman and you just make your way home. But because you are running and because you do not care about being looked at and mocked you will also get to your home faster.

What I'm trying to say is that the deed has already been done; you have already been exposed. You can own it or you can hide from it but you cannot eliminate the shame.

Shame is a social construct. We are taught to feel shame. We are not born with the consciousness of what shame is. When you decide to damn the society and say, "Who cares? I don't care. Why do you care?", that is when you start winning.

The madman confides in the fact that you won't chase after him. He confides in the fact that you will be conscious of the judgement of those who are watching and for that reason, he is confident that he can steal your clothes and get away with it. The moment you run after the madman, even if you do not succeed in retrieving your clothes  he will understand that it is just a matter of time before you catch him if he decides to do it again. Because next time he tries it, you would have prepared for him. That is what losing today in order to win tomorrow means.

Even though you do not win the first time, you let your opponent know that next time you'll be more than ready for him.

HAVING A BABY WITH HIM WON'T MAKE HIM LOVE YOU

Women: they have always taught us right from birth that our role in this world is to grow up, get whatever education we can get and then look for a nice and accomplished mature man, get married and pop out babies. One is not acceptable. Two is the minimum. Three is good and four is the proof you are truly a woman. Oh, don't forget. The first child has to be a boy and if you don't succeed the first time, keep trying. It doesn't matter how many girls you have to pop out, that male child will give you more happiness than all the female children you might have had.

But that is just the ideal. In reality, things don't happen this way and sometimes you find yourself pregnant for a man who is not your husband and who is not even nice, accomplished and mature. With the baby growing in your womb, you start feeling a sort of transformation. It was unexpected, but you feel the necessity to grow up and become responsible, because of the child and you think THE MAN SHOULD DO THE SAME. Naive girl.

Men do not have the same connection with babies like women do. Their relationship with the child start after the baby is born and if they decide they do not want this connection, you can't force it. The baby didn't grow in their wombs and won't suck from their breasts. A woman who expects a  guy who is still in his rocking days to become a father and a husband material just because they are expecting a baby is delusional.

First, did he tell you he wanted the baby or did you force it on him? I know this is crazy, but if as a spinster, you decide to have a baby with or without the support of the father, you still have to consider that you will one day end up taking care of the child by yourself. If you are lucky you will get child support and if you are not, at 18, the child will probably be on a trip to know who their father is.

Fact is a baby won't earn you love and even if you think it will, it will be conditional love, because with that baby out of the picture, the guy won't give a flying ass about you. Stop thinking telling a man "we have a baby together" will get him to do what he doesn't want to do: a father and a companion.

A word is enough for the wise.

GEJ FAILED BECAUSE HE'S À DREAMER

GEJ makes a good political theorist, but he makes a bad politician.

Jonathan is an educated and intellectual man and he behaves like any educated and intellectual man: because he knows a lot, he also thinks a lot and acts very little. The man has a lot of ideas on how Nigerian should be ruled. He has a list of all the things that do not function and has made plans on how to fix them. However there is a problem with this kind of organisation: he is fixated on his ideal way to fix Nigeria and does not take  emergencies and insurgences into consideration, because that would mean the abrupt interruption of his bi-quadrennial plan to turn Nigerian into a new leaf.

GEJ would make a good counsellor. He should be relegated to the role of a wing man, but he does not make a good leader. The man knows exactly where Nigeria is damaged and he could fix it, but he lacks the temperament to make decisions. He is being idealistic about everything. Imagine him saying "Boko Haram are our brothers". In the ideal world, when a brother misbehaves, you talk him into changing his ways, but in the real world, when your brother butchers his other brothers, you take a cutlass and cut off his hands. You may not kill him, but you make sure he can never hurt anyone again. We need people like Jonathan in Nigeria; he is cultured and aware, but he should stay in the background and guide; He does not belong in the spotlight.

If Jonathan had the same temperament of Buhari, he would make the perfect leader. But he belongs on a desk with plenty of ink and paper. He could write books and books about our country and I would not mind reading them. I would even advocate for these books to be read in schools and used in university courses like Political Science.

You know what they say: those who can't do it, teach it.

PS: I am not saying Buhari is a better option. But a fusion of both personalities would be the idea. Buhari is way too old for this country. We need a fresh blood like GEJ, but with character and temperament. Nigerians are too indisciplined and uncultured to be rule according to some idealistic ideas. They need someone who will tell them to sit and pin them down by their shoulders when they refuse. Jonathan would probably be begging them to sit.

Let's hope for this new change.

FVCK YOU CHALLENGE

This aint a challenge for the girls
Cuz niggas need the fvcking chance to vent
They'd been holding back for too long
Like Mia Khalifa choking on a ding dong.
I aint gonna lie, I believe in giving the niggas the mic
But you stepped on my dick, now it's hard and I gotta fuck you with it.

Two days, ten posts, it's been all about them cheating hoes.
"She left me, she fucked him", nigga yes, perhaps she got a magnetic hole.
You wanna cry cuz she uses her pussy like her ride?
She cruises it around town, then parks it in the richest nigga's garage.
Whining about some lady's vjays, Kim K doesn't owe hers to Ray J.
Post the nudes if you want, her Kanye can't wait to cheat with her on his Muva.

Fuck the shamers, always bitching about being losers.
You are a rigger, you set the rules and now you mad cuz we pulling triggers.
Just two shots of our cum in your buddy's face, now everybody gotta read about your lame ass heartbreak.
Fuck the cheerers, you wish we'd back down and cry a river.
But we're the Helenas and you will be seeing pictures of us and our Ibra.
Fuck the good girls who want to use me as their wrong model.
"I aint like M., I behave", bitch you still sucked the cock albeit ten years too late.
Fuck the patriarchs, always wanna control my coochie
Sorry, homie, that belongs to me, my Sugar, my Chidi and my Chi-Chi.

Octopus, inked from head to toe like a broken bic
I heard your ex been balling with your name
Cuz you roll with pretty girls who make her feel lame.
Then you called out my sistas, waka waka, wetin carry this leg come?
Yes, I don reverse to street tongue. This one nor be omo diaspora level, na ghetto level, I wan show you I don even sell tomatoes.
Na our fault your face dey squeeze like exam cheating note?
You lift weight for gym nor mean say you fit try am for life.
Feminists na truck, if we somersault, na to cause tsunami for sure
Dey look us like APC broom, wey breeze go blow and carry dey go
Except like anything wey Rochas erect, if we fall, the kind dust wey we go raise, nor be small.

Son of David, na only for Bible your papa don win.
That him catapult before you shoot am, I don cheddar you with my AK 47.
So respect yourself, cuz we talk now, na to organise funeral service for another Unnamed Person.

Let me go back to my pretty girl accent.
I need to wrap this up and head to the market.
Oh, my gosh you almost got me distracted.
I gotta run, I am not nice when I'm starving.

Before I end, come again, read up here and shout my name, followed by "kai".

Fuck you for trying you to use our name to trend.
Fuck your ex, she's a mess, but she got ass, I might still tap.
And fuck the niggas, I mean seriously fuck the niggas. If your ex dies, he die.

Queen out.

#fvckyouchallenge

GOT MY EYES ON YOU TONIGHT - FREE STYLING

I got my eyes on you tonight.
I am trying to put my mind in line
But you are acting rebellious,
Pushing my button to exhaustion,
Igniting my amorous combustion,
Till I lose all my compulsion
And I die, like an inglorious knight.

You are heading straight to my core,
But I want to dribble on your curves,
Dig into the abyss on your bosom,
Brush against your cheeks like a random-
-No, ignore my scribble.
Your lips’re upsetting like a riddle,
Not simple, illegal, I'm mentally unstable.

PAUSE

Erect the tallest of your walls,
I'll find the brick that's your glitch,
Hint in a song, playing non stop,
Just like us, caught in a crowd,
Mimicking, just teasing and giggling,
We’re clicking, we’re liking the surprise,
Turn off the lights, no slack, just start.

PAUSE

Magnificent and gorgeous,
You are my initiation,
From your stream of regeneration,
I will sip the nectar of rejuvenation.
I'm drowning, baptising, we’re recreating,
Disintegrating and reintegrating;

PAUSE

I'm in your secrets.
No feel of heaven,
Cuz I'm the devil, or you’re evil
My soul you’ve murdered.
My life you’ve conquered.
Rendered innocuous and atrocious,
My impetuosity is inglorious.

PAUSE

Damn! My blood is rushing,
Gushing and blushing,
From the torrent of desire
To the bottom of denial:
Fixated, persistent, resist it.
Just kill the motherfucker,
Cuz it's been set on fire

PAUSE

Murderer and conquerer,
Capture me with the wire
That can put us asunder.
Temptation’s driving me crazy:
I'm sleazy, I'm pleading,
Unlead me to the furnace of glory;
My ashes are steadily burning.

PAUSE

Goddess of eternal lust,
Let me rust, like my blade.
I'm the knight with no honour
Or dishonour; unleash the horror,
Inglorious conduct and pierce my armor.
I’ve been defeated, no pleading,
No mercy for the beaten.

I had my eyes on you tonight.
I should have put my mind in line.

A YEAR WITH A FEMINIST MAMA OR NO DIVORCE

You see the way these Nigerian men treat women like cheap commodities? It is disgusting and most importantly it is unfair.

We can no longer sit by and watch these men continuously disrespect us by threatening to return us to our father's house. Some of these women were not even living with their parents when they got married. Some own the house they lived in and some others own the house over which the man is now claiming ownership by the virtue of marriage.

We all agree that men are the cause of most failed marriages in Nigeria. They will do all sorts of shit, then turn around to blame the woman. Even in the case of a divorce, the man will still have the nerves to blame the woman for not having endurance. And his stupid family and her even stupider family will join him to press the poor woman's head.

Chai, women have suffered.

We have suffered so much that some women are now calling for blood. They read that a woman has murdered or brutalised her cheating or abusive husband and they give her kudos.

Men, una see una self? Your death nor dey pain anybody. Na only una family e dey pain. I know a lot of men who could die today and nobody, except their family would shed a tear for them. It is that bad. Even their wives would be happy that they are dead.

I have read of men being maltreated by their wives while they lay almost dead on a hospital bed.

"Won't you beat me again? Come and beat me now".
"Useless man, I want to see how you will go and be sleeping around now and infecting me with diseases."

Women are seriously furious and soon the blood of Nigerian men will be worth less than that of a Christmas fowl.

BUT I HAVE A SOLUTION.

Feminists boot camps must be erected all over Nigeria to retrain our men and to save their lives. Because if these men don't change, they are either going to die a violent death or end up in jail for killing their wives. And this re-wiring must start from our divorce court.

Any man that is involved in a divorce case must be sent to a Gender Equality and Conflict Resolution Centre for one year. It doesn't matter if he is the one initiating the divorce or he is the one being divorced. Odikwa compulsory.

If at the end of the course, the man still doesn't show signs of improvement and remains an entitled idiot who thinks women exist to serve him and act as his pleasure tools, he will be granted the divorce. Not so much for him, but for his wife who deserves a better human being as a spouse.

No woman must be returned to her parents like expired goods. The men are the faulty ones, which is why they must be sent to centres where they will be fixed, repaired and rehabilitated.

This revolution has just begun and trust me, either blood or tears must flow.

*note* I can't edit polls, so I had to delete and repost. Sorry guys.

CHIMAMANDA'S QUESTION TO HILLARY WAS LEGIT.

If you have to argue, argue with logic.

Chimamanda Adichie asked Hilary Clinton why she has decided to identify herself first as a wife and mother before listing her professional achievements. Whereas her husband Bill Clinton has not made any mention of his marital or parental status on his own profile.

Now, someone attempted to flip the script and wrote: "Just Imagine if a man had told a celebrity that he felt 'a little bit upset' that she chose to define herself by her career."

Unfortunately the analogy does not work. I said it then and I am saying it again, now.

The point here is not Chimamanda's being upset, it's about the reason why she is upset.

The analogy presented in the quote above doesn't work because the context surrounding the man's question is not the same as the one surrounding Chimamanda's question.

Chimamanda's question is not sexist. But the man's question in the example is sexist.

An appropriate analogy would be one that involves a man asking another man why he is not playing by patriarchal narratives.

Chimamanda and Hilary are both women who should be playing for the same team. So that interviewer needs a man like himself whom he believes should be playing for the same team as himself.

A proper analogy would have been a man asking another man who had listed father and husband on his bio, like Barrack Obama and John Legend have done, why they were not playing by patriarchal narratives and putting their careers first, instead.

Because the whole issue is all about "why are you buying into a narrative that doesn't elevate you?"

Patriarchy does not elevate women, so Chimamanda has a reason to be upset with Hilary's decision.

Patriarchy does not elevate women so it doesn't make sense for a man (team patriarchy) to ask a woman (team feminist) to play by patriarchal rules and be upset that she isn't when it's clear to both of them that the woman is aware of the disadvantage of playing by those rules.

Patriarchy elevates men more than feminism does, as feminism deprives men of patriarchal privileges, so it makes sense for a man to be upset that a man has decided to play by rules that do not favour him in full.

Did I explain myself?

MEN ARE NOT SIMPLE CREATURES

One lie you have been told as a woman is that men are simple beings: all they need is good food and sex and they are happy.

The truth however is that men are not simple beings, neither are they simpletons. They are fully aware and woke but you don't realise this because you have bought into a lie.

Nobody is a simple being. Even the dumbest among the dumbest is not simple. They might be a simpleton but certainly they are not simple.

You need to unlearn these lies and start relearning the true complexity of human nature.

As you learn to see yourself first as a person, you must also learn to see men as the complex people that they are.

Because the truth is, as long as you insist that men are simple people who need simple things to be happy, you will remain a simple person who won't learn how to think of complex solutions to complex problems.

Unlearn and relearn today.
Nobody is simple.
We are all subject to entropy.

NOTHING LIKE SOCIAL MEDIA FEMINISTS. A FEMINIST IS A FEMINIST

Unlike what people think, there is nothing like social media femminists. There are just women who claim to be femminists and, under the femminist movement, make claims and express their dis-satisfaction and their ideals.

I am a proud femminist and I live my life like one. I don't even have to say it for people to know I am one. No one will say I hate men, because I take delight in talking about men and their wonders. I know femminists who are straight, married and mothers. I am a femminist but my type of person does not priotise relationships, neither do I obsess over marriage and kids. But that's just the kind of person I am. I will always advocate for equal rights and will always be a pro-choicer but I don't see myself acting all desperate and virtuous just to prove that I don't hate men and that I'm not bitter.

I abhor the patriarchal system. It's oppressive and not absolutely functional. If you blame femminists for high divorce rates then the southerners had every right to blame the northerners for their poverty. The north fought for unity and abolition of slavery. The north won and all of a sudden the southern economy went down the drain. No one to work in their fields because ther whole region relied on slave labour.

If you make a fallacious system the very foundation of your society, economy and politics, you have no one but yourself to blame if that system succumbs to progressive ideas.

Absolute monarchies succumbed to modern states which later succumbed to constitutional states. The royals and nobles were not happy but it was a necessity for these countries to advance.

In 1650 rural agriculture and human labour succumbed to machines and industries. The workers were not happy. They attacked and destroyed machines but today the Industrial Revolution is regarded as one of the best things to have happened in the history of humanity.

We talk about the Glorious Revolution, the French Revolution, the two world wars and the fall of the wall of Berlin. Do you think everyone was happy? Entire countries were overturned to welcome a new era. However this era is still a work progress.

Like it or hate it, patriarchy is not our final destination and I am a person who opposes it. I am a femminist, not because I am a woman but because I am a human being who believes in a progressive and equal society.

I won't give up the fight.

NO MARRIAGE UNLESS I'M CRAZY ABOUT HIM

In my brief but sarcastically assholish life journey so far, I have dated a couple of guys I didn't really like but one thing I know for sure is that I can never marry a man I'm not crazy about.

The moment I understood that love is all about the other person and not about me, I have never wanted anything less than that feeling for the man I'm going to say 'I do' to. So I find it hard to accept this culture which consists of people getting married to someone they barely know or like because that someone will make a good partner and a good parent. They think of what their spouse can do for and give to them and not about what they can do for or give to their spouse, which should be the reason why they are choosing to marry that person in the first place. This type of selfishness and opportunism are parts of the reasons marriages are failing these days.

In my last relationship, my desire to spend the rest of my life with that person didn't stem from the fact that he would make an exceptional husband or father, if anything he pissed me off quite often. But when I thought about him, I couldn't help but feel the desire to make him happy. I was willing to make sacrifices to achieve that - like having kids when I don't even like them - and it wasn't because I wanted to be seen as a wife material but because his happiness really mattered to me.

It hurts my heart to read about men and women who try so hard to make their partner happy because they see it as their 'duty'. You shouldn't have to try or even force it. It should be spontaneous, because love is all about selflessness and spontaneity.

As a wife, you should have sex with your husband because you are pervaded by this uncontrollable desire to fuck his brains out and not because you are scared he might go outside and cheat on you.

As a husband, you should buy your wife nice things because seeing her look good makes you feel good and not because you don't want her to be tempted by the rich men out there.

Why aren't men getting married to women of whom they can't get enough?

Why aren't women getting married to men on whom they would spend the money meant for a new pair of shoes?

People know when you do things for them because you love them like they know when you do those same things for them because you just are performing a role. And if you are with someone who can't tell the difference, do away with them. This life is too short to be with a cynical asshole.

My personal belief is that love comes before marriage and not the other way round and if I ever find myself getting married to a man just because he'll make a good husband and not because he makes me want to be a good wife, I'll just go bonkers on myself (reflected in the mirror).

Call me a hopeless romantic or a crazy woman who has lost touch with reality, but as someone who doesn't think of marriage as indispensable, I still think that if you must do it, you must do it right, starting from loving your future spouse beyong words.

That's my idea of love; so effortless that when you look your loved one in the eye, you can't help but say: "How could I not love you and how could I not want to make you happy".

DO NIGERIANS REALLY LOVE/FALL IN LOVE?

Nigerians and Love

"Excuse me, fine geh. I see you for street and I say make I come tell you say I love you".

I have a feeling that Nigerians have no idea what love is all about. What Nigerians know and feel is utilitarianism.

As in: "That person is useful to me, ergo I stick with him/her".

That's why you will read mentally destabilising posts like: "Dear Amanda, I love my husband and he loves me very much. But he cheats on me and beats me almost everyday. But he's also caring. He provides everything for myself and our *unbelievable and incredibly stupid number of* children.

The abused woman will feel loved as long as the husband is still dropping cash money and fulfilling her desire to shit out kids. The only time an abused woman will cry out is when the man is no longer providing money and his sperm is no longer dripping from her vagina. That's when he stops being useful and the love starts to crack.

Another mental stab: "Dear Amanda, I'm in love with another woman but I don't know what to do. I still love my wife. She's a good woman. She cooks, cleans and takes care of myself and our *unnecessary number of* kids. What do I do?"

Nigerian men get married for a purpose and love as it is intended is not one of them. That's why a man will abuse a woman in every way imaginable but will find it hard to let het go. Besides the sadistic nature of an abuser to want to keep their victim captive for as long as they wish, there is also the usefulness of a woman who does all the things the man can't be bothered doing because he needs to dedicate his time flexing his penile tissues.

Right now, there is a fiancé who is shagging their wedding planner while his fiancée is in Australia waiting for him to come back. In his words, he loves his fiancée very much because she stood by him when things were rough.

My ex friend cheats on his wife with anything with a vagina that breathes but in his words, he loves his wife and she was one of the only two women he could have married. Why? She's from a rich home, he was her first and her life consisted of three sections: house, school and church.

And these men and women want me to believe that there is LOVE in all of this?

God punish devil but this aint love. This is some serious BULLSHIT.

FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION IS MURDER

I used to watch Dele and his friends through the glassless window of my class every day. Whenever the break bell rang, hundreds of students would flock to the school yard but somehow Dele always managed to distinguish himself from the many figures wearing the same uniform and exhibiting the same fragile frame, typical of a teenager who had not yet experienced life, but was already worn out by the responsibilities of being an almost-adult.

I thought about Dele all the time and I saw him in every man with a tall and slender body who could brighten up a dark heart with his smile. I don't know when I started feeling how I felt but at some point, it became obvious that Dele was no longer enough as just food for my thoughts. I also needed him to be food for my body.

First, they were little pleasurable contractions, then that watery and slippery feeling came along.

I didn't know what it was and I certainly couldn't talk to my mother about it. School was all about marks and position. Nothing else had to matter to me. But at fourteen, I was already wondering why just thinking about Dele made me feel that way.

"Obi, so you too have reached that stage, eh? Don't worry. I will explain it to you".

Efe was really mature. She even knew the term for my "condition": sexual arousal. She also told me it was a condition I could "cure" - all I had to do was "touch it".

That night in my room, I tried to "cure" myself of my "condition" but I couldn't find anything to touch. But Efe had told it was there. She had told me that every woman had it. She had told me, so it had to be true. But there was nothing, so nothing could be done about my "condition". Could Efe have lied to me like my best friend did in JSS when she told me I could get pregnant just by sitting on the same spot a boy had previously sat on? But why would she do that? My "condition" was real and I truly needed help.

"Obi, if you can't find it, it means it was removed. I'm sorry Obi, but I'm afraid you will always be feel like this".

Circumcision. That's what had been done to me. I never asked my mother about it and I never told anybody else about it.

Dele, Chinedu, Ehis and at last Segun.

I loved them all and I wanted them all but who wanted a woman who was "sick" all the time and who never got better, no matter what she did?

I was better off by myself. This "condition" was mine and it was my cross to bear.

#womenworldwide
#FemaleGenitalMutilationIsMurder

THE WIFE OF A CHEAT IS ALWAYS PREGNANT

written by me and Cunt.

Have you ever had the misfortune of stumbling on one of those silly “What do I do” posts by a side chic who has been bewitched by an “abused” husband whose wife is said to be related to Samadora cum Karachika cum Sakobi The Snake Girl cum Nneka The Pretty Serpent?

Well I have.

And have you also come across a comment by a tired commenter, who is so sick and tired of these shitty posts that they decide to drop all available sensibility at their disposal to write: “See you. While you are there believing the lies of that man, his wife is merrily pregnant of their third child”?

I have too.

At that point I pause. I scratch my head. I scratch my pubes and while I'm at it, I give Cunt a pat.

(“GIVE ME A COOKIE INSTEAD, YOU FUCKING BITCH”.

You are never going to get anything with that attitude, Cunt.)

So as I try to understand the logic behind said comment-

(“YOU WILL DIE DRY, BITCH”.)

-said comment, I realise that the logic is absolutely devoid of any logic.

(“I AM VOID, YOU STINGY BITCH. WHAT ARE YOU NOW A FUCKING LESBIAN, OBSESSING OVER BOOBS? NKECHI'S BOOBS, TEMI'S BOOBS, EBY'S BOOBS. HOW ABOUT YOU GET A DICK WITH TWO BALLS INSTEAD?”

All right, you motherfucking blood bag of a rumbling hole. I am trying to write a fucking post here. I am trying to debunk a silly myth. I am trying to contribute to a cause – to help women and the men who care to understand that there is everything fucking wrong with that comment, but I can't do that if you keep screaming like an obsessed sex starved nymphomaniac cunt. And if you keep on with this assholish attitude, I am going to get pregnant. Oh yes, I will but using a fucking turkey baster so you never get to see a dick or even its tip in the next 'till I die' years. And when I want to give birth, I am going to say NO to C-section and NO to epidural. You are going to hurt. You are going to expand like the ozone. You will tear. You will bleed. You might even become one with my butthole and I will say NO to stitches too. You are going to leak and you are going to stink for the rest of your life. Is that what you want you fucking pussy?

“Meow”.

Good. Now let me get back to the topic.)

As I was saying, there is no logic in said comment because that commenter is taking it for granted that pregnancy is the ultimate proof that a marriage is rocking and solid. Wait. Is it not on this same Facebook we read of women who are in abusive marriages for years and still manage to bear 5-6 kids? Yeah. So how pregnancy take prove say wifey is happy and hubby is loving?

Have you ever thought that:

1. A pregnant woman's priority is not her husband?

When a woman gets pregnant, her priority changes drastically. Now she's pregnant, she can look scruffy so even herself is not a priority. This woman could wear crop tops, tell strangers “Just because it's called baby bump doesn't mean you have to bump into me, bitch” and make “Move, bitch get out the way, get out the way bitch, get out the way” the soundtrack of her life in her last trimester, instead she becomes a total bore.

Even the husband will experience an emotional shock. With a baby on the way, especially the first child, he will no longer be known as “baby” but simply and unromantically as “papa Junior”. Papa Junior. Why, woman?

Also a pregnant woman doesn't want to put her baby at risk, not in a country where three fucking wedding ceremonies and a fucking wedding certificate are not enough to prove that you are married unless you have a fucking child, preferably a male child. So she will protect that pregnancy with all her life.

“Abeg o. I nor fit come dey fight any woman with this belle o”.

And there it is. The reason why she's pregnant. She won't have time to monitor and fight side whores. She's a house potato and not even the sweet one.

2. She's trying to mark her territory?

Don't be surprised if a woman intentionally gets pregnant multiple times to seal the deal multiple times. Because let's be honest, kids are not just the glue that every Nigerian marriage needs, they are also conflict resolution tools and proof of bliss. You know what they say - a happy home is filled with children's laughter – so the more we can make babies, the happier this home will appear to be.

So it's not just the men acting smart to keep their wives out of their way, women are also doing their bid to keep the side whores out of the home. These women are actually competing with the women outside.

“You get heads, I get the babies”. It might sounds like a fair deal to these desperate housewives, but I'm never going to sign up for that.

(“THAT'S THE ONLY REASON WHY I LIKE YOU, BITCH”.

Thanks Cunt.)

3. One needn't bang continuously to get pregnant?

If point 1 and point 2 are correct, I wouldn't be surprised if these couples met exactly when the woman has better chances of getting pregnant, to get her pregnant because let's be honest, that'd make fucking sense.

4. Pregnancy is not a walk at the park?

If we could compare a woman's beauty to a character's life points in a video game, we could say that a woman loses at least 2 points every time she gets pregnant, not to mention that she could actually die, for real.

I have never been pregnant and I do not wish to be pregnant, ever, but if anybody tells me that women enjoy being pregnant, I will punch them in their crotch.

(“YOU COULD ALSO HAVE A FEEL OF THEIR DICK, BITCH”.

Now, you are really being a cunt, Cunt.)

So the theory that states that as long as wifey is pregnant, then it's all rosy and merry, is not just wrong but also stupid.

In Nigeria, a woman's confidence is sometimes indirectly proportional to the number of children she has. Not all women have the power to decide over their bodies. It's always what hubby wants and/or what hubby's family wants. So a woman with more than three kids probably didn't choose to have that many.

I don't even see this type of women as married women either. I rather see them as crayfish wey condition, in this case marriage, bend.

So if you know a cheat whose wife is always pregnant, ask yourself the following question: “What if she also has an STD?”.

(“I WISH YOU'D GET AN STD BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN YOU FUCKED, BITCH”.

Seriously Cunt, shut the fuck up!)

And that's a wrap.

IF SCANDAL WAS A NIGERIAN TV SHOW

President Filtzgerald Grant

He would be an old man, possibly in his 60s. He would be short, dark and bald. He would elegantly flaunt his pot belly in his numerous agbadas and he would avoid suits like plague because they do not compliment his round figure. The only time we would see a glimpse of his chest, would be through a white vest possibly with micro holes, because his obese body is constantly sweating, so he needs an efficient ventilation system. This president would have no sex appeal or charm whatsoever, but viewers would still regard him as the most eligible married man in Nigeria, because he is the president, he lives in Aso Rock, he has a walking stick made of gold and he has loads of money.

First Lady Melly Grant

Given the nature of the series, we would expect Melly to be in her 50s. She would be short, medium brown to dark and very obese. If her husband would look pregnant of at least 7 months, she would look like she has been expecting a miracle baby for the past 2 years. Melly would never wear gowns or suits, but only custom made judges, lace and bubas. She would tie her head so high that any time she appears on screen, we would never be able to see below her crack, which would be modestly concealed. The viewers would have no problem hating her, because she is old, unattractive and, worst of all, a total nag. I mean a woman of that kind actually expects the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria to give up fresh pussy for her?

Olivia Pope

The star of the show would be portrayed by a very young woman, not older than 25. She would be tall, slim with a nice figure 8. She would be very pretty and her complexion would be strictly either ebony black, light skin or mixed race. If she has an American accent or can at least form it, she would be the deal. She would constantly show off her body in tight fitting dresses and very short skirts. The actress wouldn't necessarily have to be good. As long as she is an eye candy, the audience would love her and she would have a solid fan base that would follow the series religiously. In addition, the audience would never wonder why a beautiful and young woman like Olivia, who could have any man she wants given the political influence of her father, would be a mistress to an old man, but since money and power would be involved, they would quickly forget that one is Beauty and that the other is the Beast.

The Storyline

The story would be very predictable with boring plot twists. It would mainly be a competition between Olivia and Melly on who has the most jewelries and designer bags and shoes. Melly would constantly mention Linda Ikeji and ask Olivia why she can't be successful and rich like her without having to sleep with a married man, who in this case would be her husband. Olivia would retaliate like a good mistress listing all her sexual abilities that keep the president coming back for more. Now Olivia's job as an attorney who goes about rescuing murderers and high class politicians, would be relegated to the background. Her side kicks would appear on a maximum of 10 minutes in the 40 minute episode and 20 minutes would be spent showing the president and Olivia in bed: in her house, in his guest house, in Aso Rock and at various hotels. We would still have 10 more minutes divided between Melly adjusting her head tie, cursing Olivia and Olivia's ass, boobs and legs. Yeah 5 minutes would be just for Olivia's assets.

Additional Nigerian Cast
These would include a personal driver for Olivia, her hair dresser and her personal stylist.

And in Nigeria, Olivia would move in with Filtz right from the second episode, so Jake wouldn't even be in the show to begin with..

MEN SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO ABSTAIN FROM PAYING CHILD SUPPORT

One day I was struck by curiosity and decided to hear from the other side of the coin. I went on Youtube to watch anti-feminist videos. Well this very American woman made points that I think were just silly until one caught my attention. This was about child support.

I personally advocate for the right of a woman to choose whether or not she wants to carry on with a pregnancy. This choice does not have to involve her partner if she doesn't want to. In the case of a discordance, the woman's decision prevails and that's fine.

If a woman decides to abort, with or without the man's consent, she can.

But if she decides to keep the pregnancy, even without the man's consent, he ends up paying child support. That seems unfair to me.

I think no man should be forced to pay for a child he didn't choose to have. It's an imposition and a violation of his right to choose fatherhood as well.

If a woman can choose whether or not she wants to be a mother, a man should be recognised the same right.

I wrote this initially as a question for Women Without Religion and this was their response:

"If the man doesn't want to have a baby he should protect himself to ensure the woman doesn't get pregnant.  It's his sperm, he needs to control it.  If he can't, he shouldn't be putting his penis near another woman's ovaries.  It's very simple.  He has choices too.  He can have a vasectomy, he can use a condom or he can choose not to have sex.  He is responsible for his own actions as is the woman.  However, once his viable sperm leaves his penis and enters her body, she is in charge of what happens to it."

I do not agree with this position because it is the same reason pro-lifers use against abortion: "If a woman doesn't want a baby she should protect herself or close her legs".

Isn't that hypocritical? We defend a woman's right to screw whomever she wants and, if she gets pregnant, to terminate the pregnancy, but a man has to close his conduct, use a condom or abstain to avoid being a father.

Motherhood and fatherhood should be a choice for both, not just for the woman.

My opinion.

SEX IS THE WEAPON USED IN COMMITTING RAPE

The rape stories on Amanda's wall are a sad proof that Nigerians in general do not understand the dynamics surrounding this crime.

1. They don't think of sex as an experience shared by two or more consenting adults but as something that a man gains and that a woman loses.

2. They don't see sex as an act between equals which is why they think rape is just another form of sex between a dominator and a dominated.

3. They think that the gender of the rapist and of the raped are relevant to determine whether there was rape or not.

4. Because they don't think of sex as an act between equals, rape is sometimes seen as "rough sex".

5. They don't understand that rape is not sex but a crime which uses sex as a weapon.

To illustrate better, I'll use this example.

A lot of people struggle to distinguish sex and rape because sex is something that happens every day and among a great load of people. So one might say: "What's the difference between you having sex with that man and you having sex with that other man?"

The answer is simple: I want to have sex with that man but I don't want to have sex with that other man. My consent is what determines the act as sex or the act as rape.

The fact that I'm sexually active does not even make rape less traumatising and the fact that I have had sex with that person before does not make a sexual assault less of a rape.

To understand better, let's try and remove sex from the equation and replace it with another relatable action: sitting down.

At work, you sit down every day and every day you sit on one particular chair. One day you decide that you do not feel like sitting down on that chair neither do you want to sit at all. But your boss insists that you sit down and that you sit down on that chair.

Whether you sit down or not does not make a difference to your boss. You could perform well even if you were standing or walking about. But your boss does not care. They want you sat down and they want you sat on that chair.

In that moment what matters to your boss is that you understand that they are the one in charge and that they can make you do what they want you to do. At this point they no longer care about your performance as much as they care about controlling you and subduing you.

That is what will give them the ultimate satisfaction.

This same scenario happens in rape. The moment a person moves from making sexual advances to attempting rape, the purpose of their actions changes drastically. If at the beginning they wanted to share a sexual experience with you, a refusal causes their brain to switch from seeking sexual gratification to seeking revenge.

They stop caring about having sex with you; instead they want to prove to you and themselves that they can have sex with you.

So it's actually about the power they are able to exercise over you and not really the sexual pleasure they'd derive from having sex with you.

And in a rape situation gender stereotypes do not always apply. The woman can be the aggressor and the man can be the victim.

And if a man is able to resist being raped, it has nothing to do with his having self control. He's much as a survivor as a woman who escaped being rape. Do we also say she had self control?

That's why I say we need to change the way we view sex. Nobody is giving and nobody is taking. Everybody is sharing.

Being raped is not so different from being shot. One just involves a bullet, while the other involves sex.

IS POVERTY LINKED TO LOW IQ?

I think it could because the way I see some people falling back to grass no matter how much help you render them, I wonder if these people are not just too stupid to be rich.

1. My maternal family. These people are deeply in love with poverty. They are the kind of people who believe that just because you have N5, you are actually worth the whole N5, which is not true. Any sensible person knows you are worth maybe 30% of the money in your possession because the remaining 70% is not even yours to begin with. Yes you earned it, but it still doesn't belong to you.

Now this family has been struggling with poverty starting from their great-grandmother to their grandmother and their mother. My mother tried all she could to eradicate poverty from their lives but not only did she end up creating entitled fools but as well as fools who will always remain below that line that separates those who worry about bills and those whose bills take care of themselves.

2. I read a post by a friend of friend which recounts of how a man practically fucked himself in the arse by being stupid. He lost a selfless benefactor because his need to be seen as a prick owner was more important than his drive to take advantage of that situation to grow into something bigger. Now he's back to square one, left with the little he already had and the few he managed to gather from his ex helper. That's how being stupid fucks you up.

3. My ex friend. This man likes to brag about how his wife is from a rich home but the truth is given the sad reality in Nigeria, a woman is just as rich as the man in charge of her life. And this is the kind of woman who befits the definition of being "under" a man. This man has benefitted greatly from a valueless Nigerian currency and a country of residence that offers low cost accommodations that still manage to confer a bit of dignity; which is why he can manage to make his wife live like an ajebo in Nigeria while he lives a very modest life abroad. But sponsoring such an expensive life for his family back home means that he has zero savings and that he has to rely on loans and favours from friends. To me this is stupidity and I do not see these kinds of people rising above mediocrity. In fact his life plan is as simple as his mind: bring his family over to live in a council house and collect child benefits.

4. That legitimate prostitute you call your boyfriend/girlfriend. How many boys and girls have I seen looking fly when they are in a relationship and looking scruffy and unkempt when they are single? Too many. You are a sex worker, albeit undercover; invest the money you earn and make something productive out of it. Look at Dakota Lawson (?): she owns her own shopping mall today. That's a go-get-it mentality at work.

I made a post last year about two men, who despite earning the same amount of money, lived very different lifestyles and enjoyed different types of privileges.

It takes a great deal of intelligence to manage money. It's not a matter of being a miser or a stingy person. It's a matter of planning ahead and never allowing yourself to be poorer than you were yesterday. Poverty is first of all a state of mind before it starts manifesting physically.

1. If you don't have savings, you are poor.
2. If you rely on loans, you are poor.
3. If you take advantage of system, you are poor.
4. If you bite the fingers that feed you when you can't even manage to feed yourself, you are poor.

You see all those looters and money grabbers that are eating our country to the bone, they are all poor men and women. Their minds are poor and they reason like poor people: "Let me eat as much as I can today, because I don't know about tomorrow".

Certainty of tomorrow is a luxury the poor man/woman can't afford. And since vision is the product of a sound and brilliant mind, I have reasons to believe that people who wallow in poverty in spite of all the opportunities that keep hitting them in the face are lacking quality cerebral material.

Perhaps I'm wrong but this is how I see it.

WIFE, YOUR MONEY IS YOUR FAMILY'S MONEY

Woman, you have money sitting in your account doing nothing, yet your husband is covered in debts in order to take care of you, the kids and to cater for all the expenses.

Let's starts with the story of an ex friend of mine whom I'll call Beggar.

Beggar likes to brag about how his wife is from a rich home. Beggar lives in the UK, while his wife lives in Nigeria with their two children. The wife used to own a shop before they moved to Lekki, now she's a non-earning housewife.

Beggar has always been the one to cater for the family in everything: food, rent, school fees and yes, he used to replenish his wife's shop too. It would seem this shop was just there for fancy.

There came a time they had to move out of their old house and they needed money urgently. Beggar was desperate. Besides a low income job, he did runs on the side and became addicted to begging his friends for money. But back then, despite all his efforts, he couldn't meet up with the expenses

Surprisingly his wife came to his rescue. Beggar had no idea that his wife had such money in her account. The woman was hoarding while he was suffering.

Today, beggar is still owing me, his cousin and his bank. And his wife is still there hoarding.

I encourage women to be financially independent, but I also encourage independent women to be generous.

How can you have money that you can use to help and sit and watch your husband borrow money to take of things you should be involved with as well? What sort of wickedness is that? Mr Man, if you are married to that kind of woman, I'm sorry to say this but you are closer to your grave than you think.

As a single woman, I can't even stand to see my friends struggling financially. It's something that irks me. I don't even wait for them to ask me for help. Why put them in the position to beg you for help in the first place? As a friend, you should sense the alarm and intervene on your own.

If I can do this, despite not being under any obligation to do so, what's your excuse as a wife? Why are you even married in the first place? You made a lifetime commitment to love and to cherish this man, yet your husband's life is fading away slowly due to stress and your wickedness.

Talk about greed, nobody is greedier than me. I want everything.

Talk about hoarding, nobody saves more than me. I have a set target.

But talk about being kind, I believe in giving. That person might not even repay me or help me in return should I be in need tomorrow, but I am of the conviction that a kind gesture can trigger a chain of good deeds.

Your chain of good deed, as a married woman, is supposed to start with your husband, but your bastardry is a bastard.

An independent woman whose husband is a beggar, is that one an independent woman?

THE DEMYSTIFICATION OF THE GOOD WOMAN

THE DEMYSTIFICATION OF THE GOOD WOMAN

WOMAN, YOU STRAY.
The world is cruel and chaotic. For long I sought reasons to explain why there was so much pain and suffering among humans. We were the smartest and the most creative among all animals. We had the ability to create and to improve. We could reason and we could love, yet we were always fighting and competing. If it wasn't someone hurting someone, it was nature hurting us. I was really desperate for answers. Science was limited, so I looked into religion. And you know what I found out? I found out that religion does not think that I deserve to know. Not because I am not smart enough. Not because I am not tough enough. Religion keeps me in the dark simply because I am a woman.

So I said: “If all religions speak of the same god, but this god doesn't love me, then perhaps he is not a god after all, otherwise he'd treasure me for wanting to know him so profoundly”.

After which I put my faith in humanity and in myself. I accepted my limits and learned that life is a journey. I don't know everything today and I won't know everything tomorrow. But I know that the day after tomorrow, I'm going to be less ignorant that I am today and that is the beauty of being human.

WOMAN, YOU EGOTIST.
Have I ever lived for myself? Have I ever done something for the sole pleasure of doing it, without the worries of rewards and compensations? Was I taught to greet elders because it was polite to do so? Was I taught the importance of a clean home because it soothes the mood? Was I given the secrets of a fine cuisine because of the power food holds in our lives and over our souls? Was I sent to learn because they thought that one day I could be part of a change? Yesterday as I sat at my dressing table and listened to my mother and aunts telling me to remember everything that they had taught me and to forget everything that would have stopped me from being a good wife and a good mother, I decided that I was going to use all of that for myself instead. I had been trained to be perfect. I had been trained to be a god among humans, so, henceforth, I was going to be the first worshipper of my own self - an extraordinary human being.

WOMAN, YOU BLASPHEMOUS.
I speak of god as a man, maybe because he is. I mentioned his name so many times when I was in pain and distress, but he never came to my rescue. I was just one among billions of tormented souls. Why should I become so special now that I no longer want him? Unless he is the tormented soul that can't stand rejection, which would make him very similar to an ex of mine, whom I don't really want to talk about. If god can be angered by my questions, what makes him different from you that is angered by those same questions? Are you sure god is the angry one or is it rather you who want to make me believe that there is a god that is angry with me? Could it be that you are god? Could it be that it is your anger that is being blown out of proportion? What if I killed you? You wouldn't be angry anymore, right? And something tells me that even god would not be angry anymore either. If god feels just like you, then god is mortal because you are mortal.

WOMAN, YOU REBEL.
I need money. I need a purpose. I don't know which one comes first but they are both very important to me. I work for humanity, some others call it capitalism. Perhaps I'm just at the bottom of the production line, either ways, I have food on my table and a roof over my head. And don't forget that wardrobe that is grasping for air and the rack that is begging to be offloaded. There are seven days a week, thirty days a month and many days in a year. To cut it short, I work whenever I can and whenever I want. Don't hate me, hate the system. However something tells me this is not just about my working on weekends. This is about my working all together. Why shouldn't I? This is my house too. I eat too. I bathe too. And look, I'm consuming electricity right now. Why shouldn't I work and be useful to myself and to others? I don't need anybody's kindness or pity. If anybody has to give me money for anything, the pay and the frequency must be stipulated through a written contract. Unless I'm the one paying myself. I want to work and I will work. Working makes me free and being free is part of my humanity.


WOMAN, YOU WANDER.

Do you know that at some point there were only two of us humans, or even just one, before others came about? I wonder why people are so scared of being the first of something or the only one standing, especially if that someone has tits and a vaj. We all came from somewhere and we are all going to end up in the same way: dead. But it's also true that we all have to start from somewhere. Some get a head start. Some don't. Some start in a company, others start alone. I'm not scared to be a lone ranger. Unless you want to see my mother and have a picture of what I'll look like when I'm old. And of my father, so that you can discuss how much I'm worth. Perhaps you just need the address to their home so that you can always have a place to which you can send me back when you no longer need me. Well I'm sorry, none of your whims will be fulfilled. It's just me, so feel free to ask me any questions. And, by the way, my feet are planted on this rock. Here, in this right spot, are my roots and believe me they will sprout into an amazing tree.


WOMAN, YOU KILL.

I don't understand what you are talking about because the only murders I have ever committed are all in my head. The ex who lied against me. His girlfriend who fought me because of the lies he told against me and a host of other people who believed his lies and justified her vileness, among whom my birth father. Why are you surprised that I can have such horrible fantasies where people bleed and die? Can't I also bleed and die? So if I can bleed and die why do you think I can't imagine people who have hurt me bleeding and dying? We feel what we see and project how we feel, and right now, all I see are jerks. I feel hurt, so I want them to hurt too. It doesn't make me a monster. It makes me human. A human that thinks and rationalises. My thoughts are horrid to talk about but as long as they stay in my head, I'm allowed to have them. If now that you know all of this, you think I'm no longer a good woman, feel free to do so. Being a woman has never been a big deal to me any way. I'd rather be a person.


WOMAN, YOU CHEAT.

There are many reasons why people don't cheat. Among those reasons are fear, guilt and principles. I have always thought I was too good to cheat, even when the relationship was insignificant and a total waste of time. I'm a smart woman. What could be so difficult in telling someone what you are no longer feeling the va va voom or that you are simply fed up? And it's not true that people can cheat without a reason. Even the desire to cheat just for the sake of cheating is a reason. “I cheated because I wanted to cheat”. You might find it unsatisfactory but it's still a goddamn reason. When I finally decided to cheat, I had a valid reason. I wanted to hurt him. He had hurt me and he was unrepentant, so I decided to give him a taste of his medicine. I even wanted to pin another dude's baby on him. But hell, I hate kids. So I came up with something even worse than cheating: feigning indifference. “You caught me cheating? So what?” That killed him. Metaphorically, please. I felt so good. I felt so human.

WOMAN, YOU STEAL.

When did taking something that rightfully belongs to me become stealing? Even the UN says it. “All human beings are born with inalienable rights and freedom”. So after years of responding to my parents, then to my teachers, to my boss, I was told I had to respond to a husband. I wanted to travel abroad and they said I needed his written permission before they'd issue me a passport. When my child fell sick and I took her to the hospital, the doctor told me that they needed my husband's consent before they could commence treatment. When an uncle came to ask us for financial assistance and he met me at home, he refused to talk to me. He needed to speak to my husband. A man hits my car and tells me he will only discuss repair and costs with the owner of the car, who he thought was my husband. That car is mine and so is my child, the house, the money and my person. How dare you stand there and accuse me of trying to steal your privileges, masked as rights, just because I demanded to be treated with respect and dignity? Those rights are not yours, they are not even mine. They are ours for they are above us. Unless you live outside time and space, you can't covet it all. As long as you were born of a woman like me and you need oxygen to stay alive just like me, you had better be sure that I will demand that you add my name to the book of rights. Right there, write man and woman. Or just make it simple. Make it human.


WOMAN, YOU LIE.

Really? Now you call me a liar? Yet all those years I pretended and faked smiles and joy, you called me virtuous. When you hit me and I begged you to forgive me for whatever I did that I didn't even remember doing and that I was not even sure that I did, you called me humble. When you cheated and I begged you to forgive me for not doing what I was supposed to do which I was already doing anyway, you called me godly. When you belittled me for being who I am and I promised to be person you wanted me to be, even though the person that I was was perfectly fine and wanted by many, you called me submissive. Well today, I am telling you that those were lies. I am not humble, nor godly, nor submissive. I am human and I hurt. And I want to tell you that I hurt. You might think that I'm lying because hurting is not part of the definition of a woman because we are pain absorbers. Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but this is who I am and you are going to call me a liar so many other times, unless you admit it. Unless you look at me right now and admit that you can only relate to me because I'm your par, I will continue to appear as deceitful and manipulative as the devil. The devil is a liar, well so are humans.


WOMAN, YOU AVARICIOUS.

I want it all and I am going to have it all. Mother, now that I'm now longer interested in education, I do not wish to get married, yet. I want a job. I will work and make money. I will be comfortable. I will live well then I will make my choice. If and when I make my choice, I won't give up any of the things that I have earned. My name won't change and neither will my status. You will still address me as your daughter and you will keep your doors opened for me when I seek solace and comfort. You won't ask me if my husband is fine with that because I won't be living under a man, I will be living with a man. We will live together and work together. I will bring and he will bring. He can take what I give but he can't force what I won't. We will be lovers, friends, partners and parents. But we will still be us. Don't look at me like that mother. I'm not saying nonsense. Who said you had to give up who you were for what you became? My father and I were consequential. You could have done without us and you would have lived and lived even better. But you gave into the narrative of the good woman and believed us to be necessities without which you were nothing, so you took us as your everything. I'm not judging you, neither am I mocking you, but I do not wish to be like you.You will always recognise the child that you gave birth to and I will always cherish all the lessons that you imparted on me, because that is the gift I believe I owe you. The gift of me. The gift of being human.

 

EQUITY DOES NOT BRING FORTH EQUALITY

To say I'm flabbergasted that a supposed lawyer does not comprehend the difference between equity and equality is an understatement. So, I have decided to come up with this simple illustration to show some of the forms of inequality that exist today.

To say that equity would solve ALL of our problems is not only ignorant, it is also very stupid. Equity means that there is a form of disability that is preventing the citizen from reaching their potentials and such impairment can be caused by a:

- Physical disability;
- Mental disability;
- Financial disability.

GENDER AND RACE ARE NOT DISABILITIES.

Pay attention to the last part of my illustration and see why it is only in this case that equity comes into play. As you can see, the elderly, the disabled and the children are not recognised as ACTIVE citizens.

Children: Being a child can be considered a disability if you think of children as citizens who do not have the mental capacity to make responsible decisions.

Poor: The citizen is financially impaired, so they cannot access certain services.

Old or Handicapped: These people are either physically or mentally incapable of making decisions so they need extra help.

Ways to eliminate equity include free education, free healthcare, meritocracy, scholarships, affirmative actions, etc.

BUT ELIMINATING EQUITY WON'T ELIMINATE INEQUALITY.

And if you are a lawyer and you still don't understand this, then your are an IDIOT. Your degree is wasted and you should use it to wipe your ass after pooping.

COURTESY TRUMPS FEMINISM

There is feminism, then there is courtesy and etiquette.

Feminism aims to demystify gender roles and to create a gender neutral society. However, a lot of people are taking advantage of this movement to be assholes and stingy bastards.

Just because you are a feminist does not mean that you have to treat your friends of the opposite sex or lovers like crap by depriving them of simple acts of courtesy or by refusing to adhere to social etiquettes.

WOMEN

I noticed that a lot of women will intentionally refuse to look after their male guests because they don't want to be categorised as cooks. Well let me tell you something.

Whenever you receive a visitor in your house, irrespective of who that person is, they are your guest and you are their host. As a host you have obligations towards your guests. You must make sure they have food to eat, water to drink and a clean environment to stay. These are the basic things, and, if you fail to provide them, then you are a bad host and I could say a human being of questionable character.

MEN

Friendships matter. Relationships matter. Both require investments: time, emotions and money. Some men don't want to be categorised as money bags, so they shy away from helping out their female friends financially. They also refuse to give their girlfriends treats.

I once told an ex-boyfriend that I didn't like how he would show up at my house empty handed and I meant it. How can you date a guy for months with nothing to show for it? Not a box of chocolate or a cute teddy bear. I'm sorry, but such men are just stingy and should be done away with.

Feminism promotes equality between men and women, not cuntiness between the two sexes.

I don talk my own finish.

NIGERIAN WOMEN WANT BRIDE PRICE TO REMAIN

"Should bride price be abolished?"

"No, because a lot of men would take women for granted."

This was the reply an overwhelming amount of women gave to this demeaning practice.

You see, I waited 15 years for my mother to learn how to treat me right.

I waited 9 years for men to learn how to treat me right.

I waited 16 years for my friends to learn how to treat me right.

And now that I'm 30, I do not want to wait any longer for anybody to treat me right because I will tell them right from the beginning: "This is how I want to be treated and if you can't do it, please take a walk."

The average Nigerian woman would rather be treated like property than actually stand up and set a standard for herself.

"It's too difficult. Let's wait for the men to realise that they are wrong."

Yes, let's wait for the men to realise that we can't go on like this, like the Americans realised that slavery was wrong. It only took them two hundred years. Two hundred years for it to be abolished legally and more than half of a century for it to be abolished de facto, as blacks were still being treated like slaves not until 50 years ago.

My heart bleeds for the Nigerian woman. I'm in pain because yesterday I came to the awful realisation that my fight for female emancipation is for myself alone.

These women are not interested in my talks.
They don't want to fight.
They want the same men who erected patriarchy to also demolish it.
They are deluded.
I could say even stupid.

Since the sudden realisation that I'm a lone ranger, I have come to this decision: I won't allow any bride price to be paid on my head and I won't submit to any human being who was born of a woman like me.

This is my personal feminism: it's mine and only.

Dear Nigerian woman, I wish you two hundred blissful years of waiting.

Bye.