BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS

I believe we all have a preference for the type of person we'd like to be with, but more than often our choices do not reflect this preference because we are not in the position to choose.

Narrowing the issue down to Nigerian women, well, we have the highest standards when it comes to the perfect man, but most times we fall short of that expectation.

Whether we like it or not, money is very important when it comes to choosing a partner and I'm not talking about his money; I am talking about your money.

Many Nigerian women do not have their own money, so they make it a primary expectation which the man has to meet. These women have a list of very good character traits which unfortunately they end up making secondary criterion because money is essentially what they lack. They feel the need to be completed in this aspect, rather than complemented in what really matters; so they end up convincing themselves that as long as they are comfortable, they can "make" the man into their heart desire. More than often they fail. Nigeria is not a country where women change men. On the contrary women are asked to change to suit the kind of man they end up with.

I decided long ago that I wouldn't allow myself to be in a position where I wouldn't be able to choose the kind of man I want in my life so I worked hard. This is my starting point in which I'm quite comfortable and I know I can't go lower than this. As long as I can pay my rent, bills and personal expenses, I'm relieved of the financial worry and can actually focus on an important aspect which is a man's character. Also I can comfortably leave a relationship if it doesn't make me happy.

"A break up can leave me angry but it can never leave me hungry".

Beggars have no choice ladies. Make your own money so that you can choose the kind of man you want. You won't be scared to start together from scratch if the scratch is your initial comfort. This can be the very first step to making healthy relationship choices.

Make your dough and believe me you won't regret it.

PRIVILEGED CRY BABIES

Why do we allow black pride but we frown upon white pride?

Why do we allow feminism but frown upon chauvinism?

Why do we allow gay pride but frown upon hetero pride?

I have come across white people, men and heterosexuals who insist that they should be allowed to be proud of their race, gender and sexual orientation just like non white people, women and gays: that depriving them of their right to form exclusive groups is a form of discrimination against them.

Well, I laugh.

There is a reason why it's OK for black pride to exist while white pride doesn't even make sense and it's due to the fact that white privilege is already a reality and that the gap between white and black is almost abyssal. Black pride is not trying to minimize the importance of white people; it's aim is to bridge this gap. But if we allow white privilege to be promoted further through associations, unions and neighbourhoods, it will practically become like the Zeno's paradox where Achilles chases after the tortoise but never catches up with it.

The same rule applies to feminism. Male privilege is a reality and females are far behind.

Heterosexual privilege is a reality and the LGBT community is also very far behind.

The Nazi white supremacist is delusional. There is no threat at all against white people. If anything white people have done more harm to other races in the course of history.

The chauvinist is a lunatic. Women do not represent any threat to men. On the contrary men are the threats to women. They are the ones who are mainly guilty of abusing, raping and killing women.

The homophobe is an insecure prick. How does someone's preference take anything away from your life? You probably do all sort of obscenities behind closed doors yet you can't keep your mind off what other people do behind their closed doors.

What are these people scared of? That one day we'll bridge that gap and retaliate against them?

Blacks will enslave white people and plan to systematically make them extinct?

Women will ostracize men and relegate them to the background?

Gays will start trying to "cure" heterosexuality by building special camps?

White supremacists are stupid.

Chauvinists are stupid. 

Homophobes are stupid.

You are already privileged, so can you please allow others to rise above the level of sole existence?

Thank you.