UNDERSTANDING THE AKWAEKE EMEZI vs CHIMAMANDA N. ADICHIE DRAMA

The last couple of days have been hot. A lot of thoughts have been published. Old posts and videos have been exhumed and many opinions have been passed. In this post, I hope to give you an insight into what happened. And why not, make some interesting reflections in the process.

PREAMBLE.

1. In March 2017, Chimamanda said in a video interview with Channel 4: When people talk about, “Are trans women women?” my feeling is trans women are trans women. I think the whole problem of gender in the world is about our experiences. It’s not about how we wear our hair or whether we have a vagina or a penis.

It’s about the way the world treats us, and I think if you’ve lived in the world as a man with the privileges that the world accords to men and then sort of change gender, it’s difficult for me to accept that then we can equate your experience with the experience of a woman who has lived from the beginning as a woman and who has not been accorded those privileges that men are.

…I don’t think it’s a good thing to talk about women’s issues being exactly the same as the issues of trans women because I don’t think that’s true.

2. In June 2020, JK Rowling tweeted, in response to an article from Devex, “Opinion: Creating a more equal posy COVID-19 world for people who menstruate”: ‘People who menstruate.’ I’m sure there used to be a word for those people. Someone, help me out. Wumben? Wimpund? Woomud?

REACTIONS

1. Chimamanda’s Comment:

Many members of the trans community felt that denying that trans women are women, was incendiary and encouraged people to furthermore marginalize and exclude the trans community. Further marginalization and exclusion would ultimately result in a lack of protection for the community, who would then experience even more stigma, discrimination and hate crime.

Is that so?

Chimamanda clarified in her three-part essay that her comment was never about the identity of the trans woman, but about her experiences. It was important that we compartmentalize so we did not lose the nuances that made women and trans women unique.

2. JK Rowling’s Comment:

As of today, JK Rowling’s tweet is still available on Twitter. The author must feel very strongly about her position that she refused to take down the post to satisfy the tens of thousands of trans people and supporters who came to attack her. As they rightly stated, women are not the only ones that menstruate. Trans men menstruate too. And so do non-binary people. So her comments were out of place and deliberately targeted at excluding a portion of the population that did not conform to the cis het normalcy (cis het is used to describe people who identify with the sex that they were assigned at birth).

Is that so?

Male and female are not just the two sexes that are recognized. They are also the two biological identities present across the majority of the animal and plant kingdom. Boy and girl are young humans, while men and women are adult humans.

A trans man is biologically a woman, therefore categorizing them under the female sex when it comes to biological functions is not entirely wrong. Their biological functions do not change with their transition. The same discourse applies to trans woman who biologically performs the functions of a male human.

How did Akwaeke Emezi join the conversation?

Akwaeke is a Nigerian and Tamil author who became a literary sensation after their debut novel “Fresh Water” was released in 2018. In 2018, Akwaeke also disclosed that they no identified as a woman and was now a non-binary person who used the pronoun, they/them. Non-binary people feel strongly connected to the trans community. Even though they do not change their physiognomy to reflect the opposite sex, and do not subscribe to one particular gender in terms of appearance and dress code; just like trans people, they feel the alienation from the norm. For these reasons Akwaeke felt affected by the comments made by both Chimamanda and JK Rowling.

CRUX OF THE ESSAY

1. When you are taking a position about an issue against someone else, it’s always important to understand if your position is a criticism of that person’s position or a personal attack against the other person. The legitimacy of your stance is secondary.

Prior to Chimamanda’s interview in 2017, she and Akwaeke had a cordial, albeit non familiar, and definitely, not intimate, working relationship. Akwaeke had joined Chimamanda’s Farafina workshop and had made such a good impression that the “Americanah” author even published their story on her e-magazine. A story for which she personally wrote an accompanying introduction.

Even though the relationship was more of a scholar-pupil kind, Akwaeke still had access to Chimamanda. Also, as someone who had been following the renowned author for years, they knew how strongly she felt about women, the feminist movement and trans women. But I guess sentiments took over reason, as it happens when you feel personally attack by a stance that you perceive as a threat to your well being and safety. So Awaeke took to Twitter to personally attack Chimamanda. I have read several tweets where they mentioned their former teacher and the interview numerous times, but they have never for once mentioned why those statements are dangerous and why those statements are wrong. They had the opportunity to educate Chimamanda and initiate an interesting conversation that would have enlightened people about the common struggles that trans women and women face. Instead, all we got were tweets after tweets where they constantly attacked Chimamanda and JK Rowling and called for the community and allies to attack them too.

2. Are Chimamanda and JK Rowling transphobic?

As someone rightly said, if you cannot tell a black person what to consider racist, if you cannot tell a woman what to consider misogynistic, if you cannot tell a disabled person what to consider ableist, then you cannot tell a trans person what to consider transphobic.

Both Chimamanda and JK Rowling deny that they are transphobic. However, their refusal to revisit their positions on the trans debate sends the message that they are not listening to the replies to their opinions about the trans community.

PERSONAL REFLECTIONS

1. Do we need to act the part to be treated as such?

In response to the statement that trans women enjoyed male privileges prior to transitioning, allies and supporters say that the statement is incorrect. Because a trans woman was once an effeminate man, and effeminate men do not enjoy male privileges. Instead, they are discriminated against. The counter position is that you must not play the part of a man to be treated as a man. And concerning this, I agree. It doesn’t matter whether you subscribe to the part, or you agree to play the part. You just have to look the part. The society doesn’t ask you what you want or what you think before they decide if they are going to elevate you, or if they are going to discriminate against you. For that reason, it becomes irrelevant whether an effeminate man is conscious or accepting of his male privileges. They exist regardless. Just like a trans man experienced misogyny prior transitioning, despite their appearance that suggested that they were a man.

2. The importance of exceptions

I personally do not think that JK Rowling or Chimamanda will deny a trans woman the right to be treated as a woman based on the idea that trans women cannot perform female biological functions. Reason for that is because there are biological women who cannot perform those functions. Excluding trans women on those premises would amount to denying the womanhood of those biological women as well. If anything, the existence of these exceptions gives legitimacy to the existence of trans women. However, what we must not do, is to try and erase the existence of these biological functions in order to include trans women., since prior to their inclusion, there was already an existing populace of women who could not perform these functions, and there was never a discussion on whether or not menstruation for example was a female function. It was considered so. Why do they want to change the narrative now? Trans women must understand that they cannot rewrite the female code. They cannot even rewrite their own code. Male and female will always be the two sexes created by nature. Exceptions are intersex people who still eventually make a choice as to whether they want to be male, or female.

3. Are trans women indoctrinated to dominate over women?

Fear and threat are an expected reaction to the attempt to re-write the biological functions of women. Women feel threatened by trans women because they feel trans women are acting the same way men act towards women. Men are the privileged group in the patriarchy. The patriarchy has always tried to control and dictate what womanhood is, even beyond the confines of biological functions. I am of the opinion that just because you can do it does not mean that you have to do it. So, even as a fertile woman with a functioning reproductive system, you are not under the obligation to have children or to have biological children. The patriarchy disagrees. The system wants every woman to have children, and they want every woman to spend her life looking after those children. And if you are a woman who cannot perform these functions or chooses to not perform these functions, then you are not a woman and you must be punished. When trans women insist on making their inability to perform certain functions a norm, they trigger a trauma response by women which inevitably suggests that women do not want trans women to identify as women. The same situation would occur if trans men insisted that the ability to produce sperm is not a biological function because they cannot produce sperm and they are men too.

I do not think trans women want to dominate over women, but some of their positions suggests that they are not respectful of the female identity. And the reason for that is the lack of an honest conversation between trans women and women. And this is where I agree with Chimamanda. Many trans women do not understand what it means to be born, raised and grow up as a woman in this world.

I do hope this post has given you some clarity. If you have any questions, feel free to drop them in the comment section.

"THE KIM K PROJECT" by Kanye West

Kanye met Kim for the first time in 2003. That encounter struck him so much that he became infatuated with her. He thought Kim was beautiful. And he would have done anything to date her.

When they met, Kanye was still trying to find his feet as a rapper, while Kim was a socialite who lived off her father’s fame. In case you don’t know, her father Robert Kardashian was one of the lawyers that defended OJ Simpson in the famous murder case.

However, nothing would happen between them until many years later. Kim did not like Kanye. She thought he was creepy and gross. She was living under the shadow of Paris Hilton, and never saw Kanye as the one that would open the doors for her to enter into the much bigger celebrity circle.

In 2007, Kim’s sex tape was released. This would have been a deterrent for many men. However, it even made Kanye fall in love with her even more. When later that year, “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” debuted, millions of people would see how desperately Kanye wanted to be with Kim and how repelled Kim was by Kanye.

Between 2003 and 2009, they would both date other people. Kim would get married twice and divorce, and become finally available after breaking up with Regie Bush in 2009. But by then Kanye had been with Amber Rose since 2008. Amber reported that Kanye and Kim started dating while she was still with Kanye. Why did Kim change her mind?

The need to be adored. Kim had had a series of relationships with men who didn’t think much of her. These men did not put her on a pedestal or worship her. To them, she was just another white woman who had a thing for black men. And they treated her like such. Kanye, on the other hand, adored her. He didn’t just see what Kim was at that moment. He also saw what she could have become with his help. Kanye had always seen himself as a visionary; an innovator. Someone who creates new and beautiful things, or who takes existing objects and gives them a new life. Kim was the perfect project. She was a diamond in the rough, in need of polishing.

When they started dating, Kanye became in charge of Kim’s wardrobe. He threw out all her party girl outfits and replaced them with more sophisticated clothing items. If you noticed, Kim used to be more tanned back in the day. Now she is paler. She also stopped visiting tanning salons on his order. But Kanye would not just stop at her clothes. He wanted to transform her. One may say that Kim was already tampering with her body before she and Kanye started dating. However, you can’t go that far with the tampering unless you are receiving encouragement from those around you. Kim experimented with that much cosmetic surgery because Kanye supported and encouraged her. There were rumours that every now and then, Kim would strip naked in front of Kanye, who would examine and screen her body for imperfections. That’s how invested he was in the “Kim K Project".

The rebranding was a success, and Kim grew to become of the most popular people on Earth. If you didn’t know Kim as a reality star, you knew Kim as Kanye’s wife. And if you didn’t know Kim as Kanye’s wife, you knew Kim as one of biggest Instagram celebrities. She was everywhere.

Then the roles switched. After Kanye was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, it became Kim’s responsibility to rebrand him after every episode. Kanye had gone from being the executor to being the project. This is when their marriage started shaking. Kim is not meant to be in charge of anything. She is a follower and has always been a follower of the limelight. There was a time she followed Paris Hilton, then her sex tape was released, and her mother took over. Finally, Kanye arrived. It was all good when Kanye was leading her to the spotlight; it became not so good when he started leading her away from the spotlight. Kim needs the spotlight. The spotlight does not go to Kim. Kim has to be the one to go to the spotlight. If Kim had followed Kanye to live in Wyoming, that would have caused a huge shadow to cast on her personality.

Their marriage did not end because Kanye became sick. Their marriage ended because Kanye became incapable of leading her due to his constant changes. A follower needs stability, a clear vision of where she needs to go and what she needs to do; and Kanye could no longer do that.

Right now, Kanye has led Kim to the farthest place he could have led her. His era is over. Now, someone new needs to take over and lead her to a new destination.

On my own part, I hope that Kanye finds a new project.

DIGNITY IS NOT A MATTER OF SOCIAL CLASS

When you decide to help a person, you can do so without announcing it to the public. You can select the people you want to help among your friends and followers, contact them inbox and do your bit. I believe that you also have inbox messages of people asking you for help, so there is never a shortage of people you can help.

Even with my limited resources, I still receive the occasional requests for help. There are times I can help immediately, other times I can’t, and I let them know. You won’t know about this unless you have access to my phone.

Many of you have turned people’s suffering into a fame making machine. I am speaking in particular to those people who ask their friends and followers to tell them what a sum of money can do for them. Then they select the most pathetic stories. Why would you do that? Poverty is humiliating enough. Knowing that you are at the mercy of other people is one of the worst feelings ever. You needn’t make it worse by asking people to write their problems for thousands of other people to read.

If your intention is to invest in people’s business, you can have them inbox or email you their business proposals. Personally, I wouldn’t post my idea for other people to read when I know that I do not have the funds to execute it. What if someone steals it?

I believe you know to some extent who among your friends and followers need help. Perhaps you are not paying much attention to the people around you, which is why you need them to come out publicly and put their needs in writing for everybody to read. In that case, you should become more observant of your surroundings. These people are not just there to gbam at your posts and give you plenty likes and reactions. They are real people with real problems who also write on their own walls. Do you even notice when someone on your list has not posted in a while? Do you reach out to know if all is well with them?

Perhaps your intentions are genuine, but your execution is poor. Perhaps you just love the attention that comes with being called a philanthropist. Perhaps you have a god complex, and you want to be begged and worshipped before you help people. Whatever your intentions are, this public display of buffoonery must stop.

If the information concerning your generosity should become of public knowledge, let it come from the lips of the those that have received from you. The only time you should divulge such information is if a person repays your kindness with evil. But even then, you can still decide that you won’t bother telling. There are people that I have helped in some ways in the past who are currently in my Facebook blocklist. When they came for me publicly, I could have simply posted a screenshot of my Azimo transaction, but I decided that their stupidity was not worth my respectability.

In conclusion, the “Tell me what 5K can do for you” trend must end. It’s debasing and disrespectful. Let’s make effort to treat people with dignity, even though their condition might not appear dignifying to us.

Kindness without announcement is still kindness.

STOP GATHERING FOLLOWERS WITH NO VALUE

These days, people no longer care about the quality of followers. All they care about is the number. And the more the number increases, the more they lose touch with reality and of what it takes to build a long lasting brand.

You were involved in a messy drama that trended for several days, you were not even the party that came out looking better. In fact you did not look good at all. Instead of you to take a step back and admit your fuck up, you make posts after posts bragging about how you have just added 1000 new followers to your already tens of thousands. You are literally bragging that 1000 people followed you to see more of whatever mess you plan to involve yourself in future. And you think that is something that someone in their right senses would do? And the funny thing is that these people who follow you for the sake of getting entertained will never contribute anything valuable to your brand. NEVER.

We all remember what happened in a notorious group on Facebook. The owner spent over a year building a group where all manners of disgusting opinions were put on display. Misogyny, homophobia, bigotry; you name it. She amassed a huge number of members within a short period of time. In her mind, the figures were all that mattered. Then those figures came back to haunt her. She woke up one day and realized that her group was filled with many senseless people. She singled out one ethnic group, but the reality was quite different: most of her members, irrespective of their ethnicity were senseless. Tell me, what type of human being believes that it's right to treat another human being like an inferior or a waste to be discarded based on that person's sex, gender, sexual orientation or religion?

We are all capable of amassing followers. The formula is very simple: controversy + a free space. People love controversy. Give them something shocking to talk about, and they will follow you. People also love spaces where they can be the vilest and the most horrible as they can be. That's why you can find the worst type of person listed as a public figure.

Over the years, I have seen people lose the very purpose that drove them to start posting on Facebook to embrace the temporality of internet fame. There was a time when they truly wanted to educate, create awareness, and create a safe place for their friends and followers. Today, they have thrown it all away for the almighty number that appears when you search for their names.

1. They use private inbox conversations to create posts. When the conversation is not "sweet" enough, they twist it, or just lie about crucial parts. Which is practically forgery;

2. They deliberately choose to stick to an erroneous and unpopular opinion just to trend and get people talking and making posts to counter it;

3. They wear a garment of false humility, lie to people that they are like them, when they know that they are not. They know that the people who look up to them will follow them based on the false idea that they can understand what the followers are going through and that one day the followers can be like them just because once in a while, these public figures post relatable content;

4. They insert themselves into every trending topic, even when they have nothing meaningful or impactful to contribute. They just want their name to be mentioned;

5. They are proudly inconsistent. What they stand for today contradicts what they stood for yesterday. But who cares? It will get people talking.

I have about 4,800 followers. I could have more, but guess what? Those more are probably in my block list. The people that follow you do not necessarily like you. Even people who add you as friends do not necessarily like you. Many times they just want to be the first to witness the drama. They don't want to miss out on anything. They want to be able to say, "I was there when it happened".

If you know that you are a public figure, as I refuse to call you a Facebook celebrity, and that you are guilty of any of these offences, please sit down and ask yourself these questions:

1. Am I OK with being notorious?

2. Can I build and sustain a long lasting brand with my kind of reputation?

3. Can I read through my comment section without feeling sick?

Respect trumps everything to me. The times my blogger friend shares my posts on her wall and her followers come out to attack me, it's never about the content of my posts. They cannot contest it. I do my due diligence. I write to be as objective as possible. That is where my respectability lies. In spite of what those people say, nobody is going to deny me the appellative of an intelligent woman. I will still be favoured when it comes down to selecting representation.

Tell me, when it's time to represent, what will you be called to represent? This is the question.

If you believe that what you represent is respectable, then by all means carry on. Otherwise, you need to do a detour and start purging that list of those who only want you for your bad reputation.

BE PROUD OF YOUR MORTGAGE

Being able to buy something on credit and finance it over the years is not something to be ashamed of. It is actually a privilege, one of the best privileges of living in a country where you can grow your wealth progressively without having to renounce a big chunk of it.

Mark Zuckerberg, a man who is worth $97B, took a mortgage to pay off his $5M home. He could have simply paid it off; however he preferred to spread the cost over 30 years while using the rest of the money to grow this wealth even more.

I remember when someone tried to shame me by saying "No man gives Mavis money o. Mavis works for her money". In her poverty ridden mind she believed that she was making so much sense. Because that is what we believe in Nigeria. We believe that the money we did not work for is more valuable than the money we toiled for. That's why people aspire to marry rich people or are constantly bitter for not being born into a wealthy family.

In Nigeria, those are the two main ways you can move from one social class to another, or you can maintain the social class in which you were born. For the record, the person who made that statement was born into a rich family. But as soon as the father died, the wealth vanished. But today we are not talking about the inability to sustain a family business over the course of generations. The focus today is on how we can't think of wealth as something we ought to build, but instead as something that just happens to us at once.

A country where you cannot grow your wealth through your work is a failed country. The Italian constitution starts like this: "Italy is a republic built on work". Our teacher explained the meaning to be "Every citizen has the right to a job".

The disparity between the rich and the poor in Nigeria is also caused by the lack of mortgages and financing. If you don't have the exact amount of what a commodity cost, you cannot buy it. That is poverty. It is not something to be proud of.

I see many Nigerians making fun of abroad residents who buy houses and post online.

"Na credit you take buy am".

"You never even pay finish. You dey advertise wetin nor be your own".

You are living in a failed system, and you are making fun of somebody who lives in a functioning system.

A house is an asset. One of the most valuable assets you can ever invest in. Imagine if as a minimum wage earner who makes N30,000 a month, you were able to get a mortgage of N1,440,000 - N1,800,000. Couldn't that buy you an apartment? As someone who earns N100K, you could get up to N6,000,000 in mortgage. Wouldn't that be enough to buy yourself a house? These may not be your dream homes, but houses appreciate in value over the years. You can sell and re-buy until you finally achieve your desired status. Right now, you cannot even start from anywhere, but you will open your mouth to make fun of people who get mortgages to buy their houses.

When the time comes to buy a house, I will get a mortgage. I could be able to buy that house ten times over, but I will still get a mortgage. I'd rather deposit 20-30% of the total cost, spread the rest in monthly payments to be made over the years, than become hundreds of thousands poorer in just one day.

Everybody deserves the right to build wealth.