But the two girls will meet at Bridge’s birthday party and develop an unbreakable bond.
Can you tell who Tiwa is and who Bridge is from the cover picture?
You can buy the the kindle or paperback (hard copy) version on:
And 6 other countries.
Sunday, 11 December 2022
My First Book "When Johnny Sings" Is Live On Amazon
FEMINISM IS BIGGER THAN OUR PERSONAL BEEFS
Many times I have come across a post on Facebook, and I would start reading it, nodding to it, decide that I will drop a love reaction, then arrive to the end and find out that it has been written by someone I have fallen out with. It happens a lot with Ijeoma's posts. I read a lot of her posts on my timeline and I'd say over 90% of the time, I agree with what she writes. And recently it has been happening with Chinenye's posts.
When such a scenario presents itself, as it often does, I simply go ahead and do what I had planned to do while reading the post. I love it. It is the right thing to do. Whenever you react on a post or you comment on it, you increase its visibility. And if a message is worth spreading, it shouldn't matter if you nurture an antipathy for the writer or not. Still go ahead and spread it.
Besides I did not fall out with Ijeoma and Chinenye because we had differences about feminism. Our fall out was related to personal issues. Nevertheless, those personal issues are not important enough and will never be to overshadow the common cause that we all fight for, at least for me.
Even though I won this year, I would have been happy if either of them had won instead. Because like I said, they both preach the feminist gospel.
When feminists fall out with one another, people are always quick to attribute the cause to women's inability to be friends with another. And that's silly. Women are people, and people have unique personalities and characters, and sometimes, those personalities and characters are not compatible with someone else's.
Feminism is an ideology. It is not an indication of someone's personality or moral values. Feminists believe that men and women deserve equal rights and access to opportunities and resources. We advocate for women's humanity to be recognized. We push to dismantle double standards, manipulation, and gaslighting against women. And all of these are goals that we can successfully achieve without wanting to be in each other's space.
In conclusion, I want to appreciate Ijeoma and Chinenye for the amazing work that they have been doing to push forth the feminist agenda. I also want to thank all the other ladies that were nominated, and even the ones that were not nominated.
We have really come a long way. Take it from someone whose advocacy started in 2005 on Nairaland when we were a dozen of feminists fighting against a horde of patriarchists.
Cheers to Feminism.
It is what matters in the end.
FUCK YOU, BIDEMI
Back in 2012, I became friends with this guy who didn't think much about his words before expelling them.
The first time he misspoke he compared me to the lady in the pictures and insisted that I'd become like her when I grow older. He meant in physique. Knowing my type of body and knowing what the lady looked liked, I rebuffed him with conviction. But dude wouldn't give up.
The issue wasn't that the lady did not have a good physique. She did but there was no way that I could grow to become as fat and thick as her. I'm slightly taller than her and almost devoid of fat in my upper region. To be honest, the comparison made no sense since even my mother, whom I look like and whom he saw very often, did not look like the lady.
The second time he misspoke, we were having a random when, out of the blue, he made a comment about my smile and concluded with a very unflattering one about my face.
Until a few years ago, I had been very insecure about my face. Hormonal acne dealt with me so much that I struggled to accept compliments about how beautiful my skin looked several years after the condition had passed. And now this dude was saying this. That was it. I ended the friendship right there and never spoke to him again.
I had also sent him a message to explain how badly he had hurt me.
He replied: I said I'm sorry. If that's not enough, I don't care.
Lol.
Also, I had heard them gossip about people and it was not pretty at all. These two young men in their 20s spent an entire afternoon saying nonsense about random people.
Smh.
Anyway, if his plan was to devalue me so that I wouldn't feel like I deserved better than his friend, then he failed.
My issue with his friend was never about his looks. He was cute even though he was lacking in personality. It was rather the absence of valuable grey material in his skull that made the relationship a total pain. We hardly ever had any meaningful conversations and when I tried to engage him, he'd spit out some very ignorant stuff. The most annoying part was that he thought of himself as such a (street) smart guy. The worst.
And no matter how ugly and unattractive he had made me felt, I Mavis would never have seen his stupid friend as a godsend.
Anyway, dude got married a few years ago.
I don't know if he's still friends with the ex.
And no, his wife is not as pretty as me. 
MY FIRST CHRISTMAS TREE EVER!
I had this idea of setting up a tree that was a reflection of all the good things that have happened to me. I wanted it to be an expression of love. I wanted it to radiate positivity.
This tree was a Christmas miracle.Thanks to my Facebook friends and followers who responded to my post. Thank you for the kind words. May all that you wished me become a reality in your lives too.
Merry Christmas in advance, everybody.
My heart is warm with love. 
MEN WHO DRESS UP AS WOMEN FOR COMEDY ARE DISGUSTING
Anyway, I took a stroll to his page, and to say that I'm disgusted is an understatement. This is yet another man who centred his comedy around a female character that he created.
I watched just one video and it was enough for me. In the said video, this man playing a dirty and razz version of a woman was advising women to desist from keeping female friends because women are "very jealous". Ah!
Is this what passes for comedy these days???
Just look at the nasty thing of a character.
Wearing a bra on his head like the mad entity that he is.
WHIM vs PRACTICALITY
1. You don't like people wearing shoes in your house.
This is practicality.
I remember that I used to do this in Nigeria. A lot of Asian countries observe this culture.
In fact, the Japanese are so particular about hygiene that they even have slippers that can only be worn inside the house (they reserve some pairs for their guests) and slippers that are only meant for the bathroom.
This is a request that I wouldn't frown at, but would observe diligently and even emulate if I ever spend thousands of dollars to buy a Persian rug.
2. You don't like people wearing certain clothes to your house
This is a whim.
Neither you nor the environment you live in will suffer any type of consequences because of the clothes that a person is putting on. You are just being a bigot and a control freak.
We must really stop attaching morals to people's choice of clothes. How people dress is not a reflection of their character. The most wicked people I have ever met in this life literally dressed like Nollywood housekeepers.
We can criticize someone's choice of clothes if they do not fit the occasion, but setting up a dress code for your guests is completely unacceptable.
Right now, I believe that many people are wearing love goggles so they do not see how ridiculous that kind of request is. Because if it was some random person telling them that they cannot come to his or her house wearing synthetic hair, they would tell that person to go and hug a tree.
But right now, the person is a prospective in-law and there is marriage involved, so it makes sense to "bend" that one time. Except, it is not.
Even if I were a skirt person and I had plenty of skirts in my wardrobe, I wouldn't accept wearing a skirt every time your bigotted parent is around. I dress according to my mood and the way I am feeling my body on that particular day. So if it's a no-skirt day for me, I won't wear it, and if I wear it, I won't be happy.
I have had really bad days because I was wearing clothes/shoes that I did not feel like wearing.
Clothes are something very personal to me. They are ways in which I express myself. When you impose a dress code on me without a practical reason attached to it, other than "I don't like it", I receive it as a threat to my freedom of expression.
So, drop the love goggles and think of this within a bigger context.
Today it's your trousers, tomorrow it will be something else.
Saturday, 11 December 2021
CONGRATULATIONS INI ON THE BIRTH OF YOUR BABY GIRL
I got information that she suffered several miscarriages during the five years that she was married. I don't know if this was the reason that led to their divorce, but I know that her and her ex-husband's inability to have a baby put a major strain on their marriage.
I'm so happy for you, Ini.
Enjoy motherhood in all its ups and downs.
PS: A blog reported that the father of the baby is a married man. IT IS FALSE. Ini used a sperm donor and a surrogate.
"PACIFISTS" MAKE THE WORST FRIENDS
"I am not a troublemaker."
Duh. Those friends are going to leave your ass in the dirt when shit goes down. They will see you being dragged and torn into pieces and won't do anything about it because they don't want drama.
I have had my fair share of these spineless and selfish people and God knows that I never want to fuck with their type ever again.
You don't need peaceful people in your life. You need people who love justice. Peace and justice are not synonyms. Whoever told you that they are, lied to you.
Sometimes for justice to reign, chaos has to reign first.
Fun fact: pacifists will never stand up for you, but will be the first to scream betrayal when you don't stand up for them. Now shittier can they possibly get?
WE THAT DON'T HAVE A FORGIVING HEART
I am one of those people that a certain group of people would deecribe as wicked and heartless. And, although there was a time these descriptions hurt me, I have come to accept them with pride and honour.
Yes, I'm wicked and heartless and I do not forgive easily.
I'm one of those people who stands by what she says. If I call you my friend, family, or lover, you will know. Because I will treat you with the utmost respect and kindness. I will stand by you through your moments of adversity, celebrate your victories with you, share all that I find good and beautiful with you, and even deprive myself of something every now and then so that you can have it.
Depending on how much affection I have for you, I might forgive you many times for hurting me. But you see the day I wake and say that I am done? I AM DONE.
I gave you my time, my affection, my emotional support, my knowledge, and my money and you still hurt me. What else could I possibly give you at this point? My life? No way. Please, be going and never come back.
I'm not perfect. I make mistakes but I always atone for them. I own up to my shit, apologise, and put in work to make sure it never happens again.
If someone I have hurt decides to not forgive me in spite of that, I'll accept it and move on. But calling them wicked and heartless? Never. I'm not an entitled prick.
However, many people are. You give them so much that they think that you are "buying" their affection. These are the people who think that they are doing you a favour by being affiliated with you. So instead of being grateful for all that you are giving them, they act entitled instead. Like it's their compensation for being in your life.
Then you pull the plug and the shock hits them.
First they think you are joking.
Then they think you are fronting.
Then they think you are being overly sensitive.
Then they think you are being unreasonable.
Then they think you are being ungrateful (after all they did for you).
Then they think you are being unnecessarily wicked (everybody makes mistakes, right).
And they might remain of all those opinions until they die because they cannot come to accept that they are not entitled to your forgiveness too.
Call me wicked and heartless, but you don chop enough for my hand. Besides, I deserve to chop too, right?
My name is Mavis and I choose to stay wicked.
I AM REAPING WHAT I SOWED
Towards the end of September, I learnt out of the blue that I had to move out of my previous accommodation. I started searching for an apartment right away, and finally found this at the beginning of October. However, my application would not be approved until the second week of November.
Before I was even considered as a potential tenant, I had to prove that I had the right to live and work here in the UK. Yes, Brexit did us European citizens dirty.
Then the reference check started:
- Identity check;
- Credit history check;
- Income check; and
- Rent history check.
Then I was asked to provide a guarantor since I was working through an agency, and so did not have a permanent contract. I proposed to pay three months in advance, but the landlord wouldn't settle for anything less than six months. At that point I had no choice but to find a guarantor as I couldn't part ways with almost three grand.
The search for a guarantor became yet another struggle. It's a role that requires the person to have a good credit history and a stable and decent income. And that credit history is a big deal. At some point I really thought that I wouldn't get the apartment, then an angel from Facebook came to my rescue.
- I have never met this woman;
- I have never interacted with her outside of Facebook;
- I can't even say I know much about her.
But she accepted my request to be my guarantor. And, despite how personal and intrusive the reference check got, she treated me with kindness and politess all through.
I cannot be proud enough of the support system that I have built over the years. I believe that whatever I am enjoying today is a result of the pieces of me that I have put out there over the years.
How else could I have earned the trust of a woman who has never met me before?
A guarantor bears the burden of paying the landlord if the tenant fails to fulfil his or her contractual obligations. It's not a role that you take on with lightheartedness and for someone you don't know. And yet this woman trusted me enough to take the risk.
Thank you Cecy. I am so grateful. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for enduring the stressful and intrusive reference check.
My mind is at rest now and I'm back to my initial plan. This sudden change of accommodation has cost me over a grand so far, but I know it's going to be a smooth sailing from here on.
My heart is filled with happiness and gratitude.
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