Dear Love: Loving You

Dear Love,

                 I once wrote you a poem to celebrate you and all the affection that in you I had found. Then I hoped you’d forgive the simplicity of my words. If you ever got to read it. I appear as a child in crush for the first time and laughed sometimes as I noted down my feelings.

That poem contained all of the most sincere and strongest feelings I had ever had and they were for you.

Remember me as the one who loved you the most.

Even as the candle light grows weaker,

Melting it away in its length and life.

Time may be the worst enemy to passion,

But now it’s all we’ve got.

It’s just you and I suspended in space

And translated by the power of a never stopping time.

Then, now or later: it doesn’t matter.

The profundity of your eyes has sent me on rapture.

I am hypnotized by those wonders of creation.

How can a man like me, made of flesh and bone,

Have so much ascendance on me?

Are you an angel or a devil?

Whatever you are, you are gifted with a power

No mortal should be for its might and danger.

I am like a toy in your hands:

Move me, shake me, cease me.

I can’t fight back.

The marvellous sound of your voice is like that of a mermaid.

It silences and pauses everything.

Only my heartbeat pollutes it with its assonant rhythm.

Tum tum! Tum tum! Dancing to your melody.

You are Jupiter, I am Pluto.

I can’t help being close to you.

Physics explains it’s the force of attraction,

But, damn!, this is more than I can bear.

My desire of you is becoming my insanity,

Erasing my mind of any sensible thoughts.

I LOVE YOU!

My heart is shouting it, while my body suffers.

It hurts. You alone comfort my soul

And appease my pain.

If this is love, I have never felt it before.

So beautiful, yet so disheartening, agonizing and mind breaking.

My Love, there are words I’d like you to hear

And engrave in your memory as long as you live.

“I am the one who has loved you the most.

There might have been other women,

But since they are no more, I claim the right to be your most devoted lover.

For any love any you  are offered, I offer double.

I am determined to remain the first, no matter what it takes,

‘Cuz to love you is an honour that I accept with humility and submissiveness.

Now and forever”.

Eternity is where we are heading to, but it’s also where we are already. Two lovers, holding hands, dancing and singing to this love song. The only music even the gods can’t resist. So why should we poor mortals do?

You weren’t, then you were, now you are and forever you will be.

Forever yours,

                        Me!

Dear Love: Knowing You

Dear Love,

                        days never passed.: they all looked the same. After he left, broken pieces of me where all over the place. No matter where I looked, memories of him were all around me: songs, words, places…living had become really difficult: pictures of him anywhere I went. My heart bled for it knew that past was never going to be again. Now he belonged to someone else. There was no place for me anymore.

People don’t know. They see you smile, hear you laugh and say: “You are a clown”. Clown indeed! Couldn’t they see the sadness behind the make-up? I wish they knew how upset I was. But I couldn’t allow people to see me as weak. I had and chose to be strong. Even though loved disappointed me, I had to try and contain its effects. Those days were the saddest and around me there was nobody I could turn to. No family and my friends were like…whatever.

Then you came. Like the sun after a heavy rain. You cast away all the clouds. You were not announced by lightening and thunder. Only a rainbow testified your arrival and today it still beautifies the sky with its seven colours. Even though then I never saw you as the one, now you are my ONE and ONLY.

I still don’t know why you so much wanted to know what was inside of me. Could you see the sadness behind my smile? Or did you just think I had something interesting to share? Perhaps you like knowing people for who they really are, without the masks. I detest shallowness as well. I believe there is more to a person than the smile on their faces. Just one thing I found irritating: that was your arrogance and conceitedness.

You  really fascinated me and aroused my curiosity. You wanted to know people, but didn’t allow people to know you. You must have thought that made you special, right? I know the feeling because I sometimes felt the same. I could tell everything about everyone, their most inner secrets, but they only knew the outside of me. I really loved the fact that you wanted to keep to yourself. I played the detective and discovered so many things. The more I knew, the more I wanted to.

My senses had long captured the danger you represented and were already warning. “Don’t let him in!”: they shouted once, twice, thrice, until they couldn’t any longer. True I was heartbroken, I needed someone to lean on, but I hadn’t become stupid too. No one knows better than me when there is love-danger in the air. Despite all this, I still let my guard down. The curiosity was so much and you were hell challenging: mentally, emotionally, physically and psychologically.

I know my senses wanted to protect me from another disappointment, but they failed. And, in spite of the disappointments you eventually brought to you, I didn’t shed a tear. I didn’t love you, wasn’t in love with you and honestly didn’t even want to talk about loving you. I felt bad when you “wronged” me because I thought you had disrespected me as a person. I didn’t have expectations from you. You weren’t a lover or a boyfriend. Now that I think about it, you weren’t either a friend or a foe. You were just you. Your lack of label suits you so perfectly: you fit into whatever role I wanted you to. For how long and how many times did we remain like this? We used to talk for hours on phone, laugh like idiots and play silly when we met. We were on the same wave-length. I had other people, guys, I felt comfortable with enough to do all this, but they weren’t like you. I didn’t feel like assaulting them and doing them silly like I had been starved for ages. But you always remained labelless, until that day.

You were like a sprinkle of charm and fun into an otherwise monotonous and monotone life. Then I never imagined you’d become mine, but I admit being very attracted to you. There was a lot of connection between us.

Funny enough, I wasn’t the type who cared about what people thought. I mean: “Screw them! It’s my life”. But I loved to hear what you had to say: as an adviser you were sometimes playful, sometimes severe, sometimes even hostile. I told you so many mental fuck, but I never denied that you were SPECIAL.

The past was  dark, the present was brown, while the future seemed to be pinky. All because of you.

Soon yours,

                          Me!

Dear Love: Wedding Day

Dear Love,

                        the day we have both been waiting for has arrived.

As I look at myself in the mirror in the regal white dress, I smile, wondering: “How did we  get here”?

Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy dates girl and so on and so forth. Simply written, but hardly happens.

The first time I saw you, forgive me, I didn’t even look at you. I saw this stranger walking back and forth and thought: “Who is that”? Never mind! Not that I cared. My mind, soul and body were so far away then, secluded I’d say. I had long lost the hope that love would smile back at me again. Too early? Yeah, I was just entering my twenties and already I was so cynical.

(I laugh) It is said time has no beginning, no end and never stops its flow, but I have come to realize it does, in our minds. If you can’t hold time, you can’t see it, you can only feel it: what happens when your feelings get stuck? Whatever they perceive gets stuck with them, time included.

I was stuck in time. I couldn’t move on, I couldn’t even see you. All I saw was myself, my pain, my mistakes and my wish to redeem myself. Yet you saw me. Mesmerized by your smile, I tried to loosen up, just a bit though. I didn’t want to have other regrets. As sweet and kind as you were, you still came for and with love and I had vowed never to allow it into my life again.

Sweetheart those were sad days. In my blues I was short sighted and pathetically wallowed in my woes rejecting the gentle hand of a stranger who wanted to save me. What happened then? I don’t know.

Time stopped in my mind, but outside it was running fast and effortless. We struggle so hard to keep up, but it hardly hears our laments when short of breath we plead it to stop, stretching forth our hand in vain. I didn’t run with it, talkless of struggling. I was left behind. But today, today I am glad I was able to pick race again. It was tough. I was many miles back, I caught up. My secluded regions were freed of their chains and it was all thanks to you.

Once a stranger, then a danger, a risk I wasn’t looking for; now you are an extraordinary wonder of my life. I did feel angered at first. I used to say: “What does this guy want from me? Is he playing games. Then let’s play!” (silly laughter) I LOST. But I do accept my painful punishment: a beautiful wedding gown, a solemn ceremony and YOU.

Dear love, on this day, I do not come to make new promises. I needn’t a pastor to tell me to love you, honour you and respect you unconditionally till I run out of breath. I know that already and I have been doing it for long. This is not the beginning of our journey. We have long chosen our path, this is just a step after many we have made and others we’ll make.

I’ll love you in the morning, because you’ll welcome me to the new day with your tender smile. I’ll love you in the afternoon, because the sun will radiate your face and highlight your sincere expressions. I’ll love you in the evening, because, as the sun sets, it passes through your heart and reflect the pureness of your soul. I’ll love you at night, because all this will be worth living all over again.

So as I make my way to the altar, I gather my breath, suspend my thoughts and force a smile despite my anxiety, I already know why I am here. In my heart, before through my tongue, with all my strength, I say “I DO”.

Forever yours,

                        ME!

Songs of Love: Chapter Three

Prey of my desire I push you back,

Sitting on you

And looking at you right in the eye.

I WANT YOU.

I kiss you intensely,

As a hand caress your broad chest,

While the other rests on your shoulder.

Your neck is tempting

And I can’t resist.

But first I bite your lips

And I smirk

A peck on your forehead, another on your nose, the last on your chin

Leads me to first stop.

Like vampire needy of blood

I first Inhale your essence,

Before licking the interested zone.

I do not miss an inch of your neck with my delicate lovebites.

This is just the first of my wants:

I am aiming “higher”.

I have completed lost touch with my mind.

I want to mark every inch of your body:

Your chest, your nipples, your belly.

Even your hands.

You are a king

And I recognize your authority over me

By bowing down to kiss your hands.

I suck on your fingers,

To give you a hint.

Got my drift?

I know you want it as much as me.

I use your hands to fondle my breasts,

And define my curves.

Culprit of my seventh sin,

You let me have my way to your body.

Warm and tough, yet so soft.

I honour it with a kiss,

Before inviting it to the safe comfort of my mouth.

It pulses and enlarges:

I so much like it.

I want for the evidence of your pleasure,

And only one thing can testify.

Your moans, your pants, the way you squeeze the sheet,

Then THAT!

It fills my entire mouth,

Mixed with my saliva, I can’t make a distinction.

Now you are a part of me.

This is the nectar of my life.

Is it lust or love?

I don’t care.

All I know is I can’t miss a second of this moment.

So I make way to you once again.

This time for us to become ONE.

                                                                                                           

Songs of Love: Chapter Two

I grab your hands

And pull you close for an endless kiss.

My body is pervaded by a burning flame:

Emotions are left to take control,

As I surrender to the passion of my most inner instinct.

Oh Love! This moment should be made everlasting,

‘Cause every kiss we share is like a decade of my years:

I feel I could die right now

And my soul would stay by

Just to enjoy every instant of this memorable moment.

Finally I let go of you.

But the force of attraction is calling.

Resistance is useless.

Let’s live this day

And save the pain for another.

I miss you tremendously

In those seconds I separated our lips.

An never ending union is all I long for:

Indestructible in time.

Your body is so warm and soft,

Yet virile and unbelievably seductive.

I lay my head on your shoulders,

As I firmly hold on to your neck.

Like I could lose you forever,

If I let go.

What a nice smell you have.

My hands gently surf your back:

That mighty space makes me look so small,

Yet the sense of protection it conveys,

Is so damn comforting.

I am comforted:

When you look at me

When you touch my lips

When in this rhythm of love, I become your musical instrument.

When your words come expected, unexpected and even untold.

See my melting soul,

Perceive my carnal scent,

Taste my love nectar,

Hear my call

And touch deep within me.

Don’t let go!

Songs Of Love: Chapter One

Whisper in my ears,

Tell me you love me.

Run your fingers through my hair,

Bite my lips

And heal them with yours.

Caress my back,

And make me shiver.

Hug me tight

Like it was the last time,

Fill the void

And cud me for a while.

Lay me on my back

And look at me.

Look me in the eye,

Capture its depth.

Listen to my breath

And dance to the rhythm of my heart.

Feel the softness of my lips

And receive my words tenderly.

Kiss my neck

And let a moan out of me.

Look down!

My heart is in perfect synchrony with yours.

Place your hand where my heartbeat excels!

Now your ear on it.

Stay still for a while.

Can your hear that?

It’s saying: “I LOVE YOU”.

I do and I want you.

Raise your head

And look at my body once again.

Admire the roundness of my breasts.

Hug me

And enjoy their warmth.

With your finger trace its boarders.

As you move it gently and slowly,

Travel to my breast bone.

Start going down straight.

Not in haste, take MY time!

Fall into my navel and rise up.

Go on in your journey, down…down

STOP!

Look at me!

Can you see my smile?

What comes next?

Believe me, it’s the best.