In my brief but sarcastically assholish life journey so far, I have dated a couple of guys I didn't really like but one thing I know for sure is that I can never marry a man I'm not crazy about.
The moment I understood that love is all about the other person and not about me, I have never wanted anything less than that feeling for the man I'm going to say 'I do' to. So I find it hard to accept this culture which consists of people getting married to someone they barely know or like because that someone will make a good partner and a good parent. They think of what their spouse can do for and give to them and not about what they can do for or give to their spouse, which should be the reason why they are choosing to marry that person in the first place. This type of selfishness and opportunism are parts of the reasons marriages are failing these days.
In my last relationship, my desire to spend the rest of my life with that person didn't stem from the fact that he would make an exceptional husband or father, if anything he pissed me off quite often. But when I thought about him, I couldn't help but feel the desire to make him happy. I was willing to make sacrifices to achieve that - like having kids when I don't even like them - and it wasn't because I wanted to be seen as a wife material but because his happiness really mattered to me.
It hurts my heart to read about men and women who try so hard to make their partner happy because they see it as their 'duty'. You shouldn't have to try or even force it. It should be spontaneous, because love is all about selflessness and spontaneity.
As a wife, you should have sex with your husband because you are pervaded by this uncontrollable desire to fuck his brains out and not because you are scared he might go outside and cheat on you.
As a husband, you should buy your wife nice things because seeing her look good makes you feel good and not because you don't want her to be tempted by the rich men out there.
Why aren't men getting married to women of whom they can't get enough?
Why aren't women getting married to men on whom they would spend the money meant for a new pair of shoes?
People know when you do things for them because you love them like they know when you do those same things for them because you just are performing a role. And if you are with someone who can't tell the difference, do away with them. This life is too short to be with a cynical asshole.
My personal belief is that love comes before marriage and not the other way round and if I ever find myself getting married to a man just because he'll make a good husband and not because he makes me want to be a good wife, I'll just go bonkers on myself (reflected in the mirror).
Call me a hopeless romantic or a crazy woman who has lost touch with reality, but as someone who doesn't think of marriage as indispensable, I still think that if you must do it, you must do it right, starting from loving your future spouse beyong words.
That's my idea of love; so effortless that when you look your loved one in the eye, you can't help but say: "How could I not love you and how could I not want to make you happy".
The moment I understood that love is all about the other person and not about me, I have never wanted anything less than that feeling for the man I'm going to say 'I do' to. So I find it hard to accept this culture which consists of people getting married to someone they barely know or like because that someone will make a good partner and a good parent. They think of what their spouse can do for and give to them and not about what they can do for or give to their spouse, which should be the reason why they are choosing to marry that person in the first place. This type of selfishness and opportunism are parts of the reasons marriages are failing these days.
In my last relationship, my desire to spend the rest of my life with that person didn't stem from the fact that he would make an exceptional husband or father, if anything he pissed me off quite often. But when I thought about him, I couldn't help but feel the desire to make him happy. I was willing to make sacrifices to achieve that - like having kids when I don't even like them - and it wasn't because I wanted to be seen as a wife material but because his happiness really mattered to me.
It hurts my heart to read about men and women who try so hard to make their partner happy because they see it as their 'duty'. You shouldn't have to try or even force it. It should be spontaneous, because love is all about selflessness and spontaneity.
As a wife, you should have sex with your husband because you are pervaded by this uncontrollable desire to fuck his brains out and not because you are scared he might go outside and cheat on you.
As a husband, you should buy your wife nice things because seeing her look good makes you feel good and not because you don't want her to be tempted by the rich men out there.
Why aren't men getting married to women of whom they can't get enough?
Why aren't women getting married to men on whom they would spend the money meant for a new pair of shoes?
People know when you do things for them because you love them like they know when you do those same things for them because you just are performing a role. And if you are with someone who can't tell the difference, do away with them. This life is too short to be with a cynical asshole.
My personal belief is that love comes before marriage and not the other way round and if I ever find myself getting married to a man just because he'll make a good husband and not because he makes me want to be a good wife, I'll just go bonkers on myself (reflected in the mirror).
Call me a hopeless romantic or a crazy woman who has lost touch with reality, but as someone who doesn't think of marriage as indispensable, I still think that if you must do it, you must do it right, starting from loving your future spouse beyong words.
That's my idea of love; so effortless that when you look your loved one in the eye, you can't help but say: "How could I not love you and how could I not want to make you happy".
No comments:
Post a Comment