Written 24/04/2019
Last week, Toyin Lawani wrote about her decision to quit her marriage many years ago. Her friend made fun of her for being in an abusive relationship, so she packed her bags and left. Years, later, she found out that that same friend was also in an abusive marriage.
My comment on Instablog was "The joke is on her. The advice she couldn't give to herself, she gave it to you".
That woman today will be somewhere feeling special and a victor: "Imagine Toyin quit her marriae just because of one small joke that I made. That woman sef. Now she don go born pikin for another man".
The society has a way of lying to people, especially women, making them believe that they are winning even when they are losing hard.
There is only one victor in this story and that person is Toyin.
Nobody ever loses for walking out of an abusive situation. You are always a victor. It takes a great deal of courage and resolution to quit a situation you have become familiar with to embrace a life of uncertainty.
I am not impressed when people recount tales of endurance and perseverance. I see them as weaklings and cowards. Am I supposed to draw inspiration from your lack of a spinal cord?
"So so person treated me like shit, but I prayed and endured. After many years, they have now realised their mistakes and changed."
Yes, and you have also wasted years, you could have used in building something beautiful for yourself and being happy, with a toxic person. Not to mention that even if you wanted, you couldn't have left that easily. I mean, how could you take care of the little monsters you bred during those years of being a virtuous woman all by yourself?
I'm a sucker for stories of victory and conquest. I respect men and women who quit bad marriages like kilode. I have equal respect for children who put their toxic parents where they belong.
Remember that you came to this world to live and not just to survive. So if you are barely surviving, then you aren't winning.
Last week, Toyin Lawani wrote about her decision to quit her marriage many years ago. Her friend made fun of her for being in an abusive relationship, so she packed her bags and left. Years, later, she found out that that same friend was also in an abusive marriage.
My comment on Instablog was "The joke is on her. The advice she couldn't give to herself, she gave it to you".
That woman today will be somewhere feeling special and a victor: "Imagine Toyin quit her marriae just because of one small joke that I made. That woman sef. Now she don go born pikin for another man".
The society has a way of lying to people, especially women, making them believe that they are winning even when they are losing hard.
There is only one victor in this story and that person is Toyin.
Nobody ever loses for walking out of an abusive situation. You are always a victor. It takes a great deal of courage and resolution to quit a situation you have become familiar with to embrace a life of uncertainty.
I am not impressed when people recount tales of endurance and perseverance. I see them as weaklings and cowards. Am I supposed to draw inspiration from your lack of a spinal cord?
"So so person treated me like shit, but I prayed and endured. After many years, they have now realised their mistakes and changed."
Yes, and you have also wasted years, you could have used in building something beautiful for yourself and being happy, with a toxic person. Not to mention that even if you wanted, you couldn't have left that easily. I mean, how could you take care of the little monsters you bred during those years of being a virtuous woman all by yourself?
I'm a sucker for stories of victory and conquest. I respect men and women who quit bad marriages like kilode. I have equal respect for children who put their toxic parents where they belong.
Remember that you came to this world to live and not just to survive. So if you are barely surviving, then you aren't winning.
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