I used to watch Dele and his friends through the glassless window of my class every day. Whenever the break bell rang, hundreds of students would flock to the school yard but somehow Dele always managed to distinguish himself from the many figures wearing the same uniform and exhibiting the same fragile frame, typical of a teenager who had not yet experienced life, but was already worn out by the responsibilities of being an almost-adult.
I thought about Dele all the time and I saw him in every man with a tall and slender body who could brighten up a dark heart with his smile. I don't know when I started feeling how I felt but at some point, it became obvious that Dele was no longer enough as just food for my thoughts. I also needed him to be food for my body.
First, they were little pleasurable contractions, then that watery and slippery feeling came along.
I didn't know what it was and I certainly couldn't talk to my mother about it. School was all about marks and position. Nothing else had to matter to me. But at fourteen, I was already wondering why just thinking about Dele made me feel that way.
"Obi, so you too have reached that stage, eh? Don't worry. I will explain it to you".
Efe was really mature. She even knew the term for my "condition": sexual arousal. She also told me it was a condition I could "cure" - all I had to do was "touch it".
That night in my room, I tried to "cure" myself of my "condition" but I couldn't find anything to touch. But Efe had told it was there. She had told me that every woman had it. She had told me, so it had to be true. But there was nothing, so nothing could be done about my "condition". Could Efe have lied to me like my best friend did in JSS when she told me I could get pregnant just by sitting on the same spot a boy had previously sat on? But why would she do that? My "condition" was real and I truly needed help.
"Obi, if you can't find it, it means it was removed. I'm sorry Obi, but I'm afraid you will always be feel like this".
Circumcision. That's what had been done to me. I never asked my mother about it and I never told anybody else about it.
Dele, Chinedu, Ehis and at last Segun.
I loved them all and I wanted them all but who wanted a woman who was "sick" all the time and who never got better, no matter what she did?
I was better off by myself. This "condition" was mine and it was my cross to bear.
#womenworldwide
#FemaleGenitalMutilationIsMurder
I thought about Dele all the time and I saw him in every man with a tall and slender body who could brighten up a dark heart with his smile. I don't know when I started feeling how I felt but at some point, it became obvious that Dele was no longer enough as just food for my thoughts. I also needed him to be food for my body.
First, they were little pleasurable contractions, then that watery and slippery feeling came along.
I didn't know what it was and I certainly couldn't talk to my mother about it. School was all about marks and position. Nothing else had to matter to me. But at fourteen, I was already wondering why just thinking about Dele made me feel that way.
"Obi, so you too have reached that stage, eh? Don't worry. I will explain it to you".
Efe was really mature. She even knew the term for my "condition": sexual arousal. She also told me it was a condition I could "cure" - all I had to do was "touch it".
That night in my room, I tried to "cure" myself of my "condition" but I couldn't find anything to touch. But Efe had told it was there. She had told me that every woman had it. She had told me, so it had to be true. But there was nothing, so nothing could be done about my "condition". Could Efe have lied to me like my best friend did in JSS when she told me I could get pregnant just by sitting on the same spot a boy had previously sat on? But why would she do that? My "condition" was real and I truly needed help.
"Obi, if you can't find it, it means it was removed. I'm sorry Obi, but I'm afraid you will always be feel like this".
Circumcision. That's what had been done to me. I never asked my mother about it and I never told anybody else about it.
Dele, Chinedu, Ehis and at last Segun.
I loved them all and I wanted them all but who wanted a woman who was "sick" all the time and who never got better, no matter what she did?
I was better off by myself. This "condition" was mine and it was my cross to bear.
#womenworldwide
#FemaleGenitalMutilationIsMurder
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