There was a day I was watching this Nollywood movie with my mother and one of her friends.
In the movie, a teenage girl was dating a much older guy. When the father found out about the relationship she denied blatantly right in front of the man, who was insisting that he was indeed her boyfriend.
My mother and her friend hailed the girl as a respectful child. I challenged them and told them that she was not being respectful but afraid. If she had respected her parents she wouldn't have insulted their intelligence by denying something so obvious.
Nigerian parents think that fear is the same as respect. When your child cannot even breathe or talk in your presence, you think you have succeeded in raising a disciplined child, whereas your child is actually pusillanimous. Those kids grow up to be social nuisances who can't interact maturely with other people. They become extremely cunning and manipulative, typical of sociopaths and pathological liars. They are usually the lead promoters and perpetrators of abuse.
I had an abusive mother who tried to use fear to control me. But I challenged her and chose a different path instead. The only time I resort to using fear to put someone in their place is when they don't respond to a mature and respectful dialogue.
Fear has never worked on me. It only triggers my instinct to annihilate the person completely. I'm a very vengeful person. I don't forgive and I don't forget.
Fear can only breed two types of people: cowards or devils.
And trust me, one is just as bad as the other.
In the movie, a teenage girl was dating a much older guy. When the father found out about the relationship she denied blatantly right in front of the man, who was insisting that he was indeed her boyfriend.
My mother and her friend hailed the girl as a respectful child. I challenged them and told them that she was not being respectful but afraid. If she had respected her parents she wouldn't have insulted their intelligence by denying something so obvious.
Nigerian parents think that fear is the same as respect. When your child cannot even breathe or talk in your presence, you think you have succeeded in raising a disciplined child, whereas your child is actually pusillanimous. Those kids grow up to be social nuisances who can't interact maturely with other people. They become extremely cunning and manipulative, typical of sociopaths and pathological liars. They are usually the lead promoters and perpetrators of abuse.
I had an abusive mother who tried to use fear to control me. But I challenged her and chose a different path instead. The only time I resort to using fear to put someone in their place is when they don't respond to a mature and respectful dialogue.
Fear has never worked on me. It only triggers my instinct to annihilate the person completely. I'm a very vengeful person. I don't forgive and I don't forget.
Fear can only breed two types of people: cowards or devils.
And trust me, one is just as bad as the other.
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