I try as much as possible to be objective, to think of everyone as equal, as having equal opportunities and rights, but most times I am forced to shape my objectivity in accordance to societal norms. I am faced with constant dilemmas between what is right and what is right in that particular environment. However I am relieved that I am not the only one and that shaping of objectivity is being practised even by juridical and judicial standards. Let me make a few examples.
Edward made a post about girls getting pregnant for married men. I think he should have said a married and his mistress irresponsibly engage in unprotected sex, which leads to a pregnancy. This would be being impartial. The blame would be on both and both would face equal share of responsibility, but, unfortunately societal norms state otherwise. As far as Nigeria is concerned, it is not unusual or even condemnable for a married man to have sex outside wedlock, neither is it such a big deal that the affair produced an illegitimate child. By social norms, the lady carries 80% of the blame, because "She opened her legs for a married man" and "She doesn't have regards for another fellow woman". What am I supposed to say in situations like this?
Nsikak posted she can't date a poor or jobless guy. Now objectively we are all entitled to love and to be loved. Those are equal rights and opportunities for everyone, yet reality differs. I used to be of the idea that the financial situation of a man was not relevant in a relationship, but then I was a teenager. I was not financially independent and by default I thought I would be a hypocrite to demand financial autonomy from a date. Now? Now things have changed. I can't date a broke or jobless guy. My motto is "Man wey nor get finance, nor get business with romance". They complain and whine all the time. They bore the hell out of you and somehow expect you to do stuff for them. I remember an ex who used to say I didn't care because I wouldn't use my money to cook for him. My dear, e never reach that level. A friend of mine called me days ago asking me he could use my house to host a ladyfriend of his, because he can't afford to pay for a hotel room. My dear, e still never reach that level. No money for hand, no pant for ground.
On Ally McBeal, there was an episode of a fat man who fell in love with the protagonist: a skinny woman called Ally Mcbeal. The fat guy also had a love interest: a fat woman. Now Ally told the fat man he had the right to fall in love with whomever he wanted and that he could ask the woman out on a date, but guess what? He did and he was turned down because Ally does not like fat men. Now his fat girlfriend goes to Ally and asks her: "You tell a fat man he can love whom he wants and that he can try with whomever he likes, but what are the chances that a slim woman like you, will actually by attracted to someone like him? Don't you think that after all his possibilities are limited and I am one of those possibilities, because I am also fat?"
Yeah being objective and impartial is an honourable thing: it helps you build strong principles and makes you hardly influenceable, but when we step out of our houses, we have to face the world, where people are unfair, where we have double standards, where they tell you this is what you can have and that is what you can't have. The world is a chaotic mess of lies, hypocrisy and injustice and even though I hate to admit it, I am part of the world.
Edward made a post about girls getting pregnant for married men. I think he should have said a married and his mistress irresponsibly engage in unprotected sex, which leads to a pregnancy. This would be being impartial. The blame would be on both and both would face equal share of responsibility, but, unfortunately societal norms state otherwise. As far as Nigeria is concerned, it is not unusual or even condemnable for a married man to have sex outside wedlock, neither is it such a big deal that the affair produced an illegitimate child. By social norms, the lady carries 80% of the blame, because "She opened her legs for a married man" and "She doesn't have regards for another fellow woman". What am I supposed to say in situations like this?
Nsikak posted she can't date a poor or jobless guy. Now objectively we are all entitled to love and to be loved. Those are equal rights and opportunities for everyone, yet reality differs. I used to be of the idea that the financial situation of a man was not relevant in a relationship, but then I was a teenager. I was not financially independent and by default I thought I would be a hypocrite to demand financial autonomy from a date. Now? Now things have changed. I can't date a broke or jobless guy. My motto is "Man wey nor get finance, nor get business with romance". They complain and whine all the time. They bore the hell out of you and somehow expect you to do stuff for them. I remember an ex who used to say I didn't care because I wouldn't use my money to cook for him. My dear, e never reach that level. A friend of mine called me days ago asking me he could use my house to host a ladyfriend of his, because he can't afford to pay for a hotel room. My dear, e still never reach that level. No money for hand, no pant for ground.
On Ally McBeal, there was an episode of a fat man who fell in love with the protagonist: a skinny woman called Ally Mcbeal. The fat guy also had a love interest: a fat woman. Now Ally told the fat man he had the right to fall in love with whomever he wanted and that he could ask the woman out on a date, but guess what? He did and he was turned down because Ally does not like fat men. Now his fat girlfriend goes to Ally and asks her: "You tell a fat man he can love whom he wants and that he can try with whomever he likes, but what are the chances that a slim woman like you, will actually by attracted to someone like him? Don't you think that after all his possibilities are limited and I am one of those possibilities, because I am also fat?"
Yeah being objective and impartial is an honourable thing: it helps you build strong principles and makes you hardly influenceable, but when we step out of our houses, we have to face the world, where people are unfair, where we have double standards, where they tell you this is what you can have and that is what you can't have. The world is a chaotic mess of lies, hypocrisy and injustice and even though I hate to admit it, I am part of the world.
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