It wasn't until 2016 that I learned the concept of envy.
I am a very straightforward person. If I like someone, I go for them and if I don't like someone, I stay in my lane.
I have reasons for liking someone and I have reasons for not liking someone. My reason for not liking someone is simple: he or she did something to me.
When I like someone it is usually because they are doing something that I like. I grow to admire them and at the same time nurture the desire to be like them or to also do that particular thing.
And that has always been the foundation of most my friendships, at least the ones I initiated.
I have no problem walking up to a person and telling them: I like what you are doing. Show me how to do it.
For this reason, envy was an emotion that was alien to me. I have never felt the need to talk shit about people just because that would have been easier than admitting that they were better than me at doing something.
Since I didn't envy people, I also felt that I couldn't be the object of someone's envy. I believed that if people saw me doing something that they liked, that they would walk up to me and tell me. I mean, there is joy in sharing, especially when it's going to contribute to making all of us better people.
I am a firm believer of chain reactions. If you teach someone something useful, they might also teach another person who might teach another person. Before you know it, from the one single gesture of sharing, you have spread knowledge to various people.
But I was wrong. And naive too.
Most people don't like it when you are doing better than them. They hate you and want to take you down.
Thinking of my life a few years ago, why would anybody want to take me down? I didn't have anything. Or so I thought.
I had lived my entire life taking so many things for granted, simply because I didn't work for them. They were all served to me on a silver platter.
My white dad, my Italian citizenship, my nice house, my brain. I didn't know their value.
Instead I focused on stuff like being broke and not being able to buy all the clothes and shoes that I wanted.
The day that I finally came to appreciate the value of what I had was the day I realised that all those years that I felt judged and disliked, was not out of the mere fact that these people had heard some unflattering information about me.
They simple believed that I didn't deserve the kind of life I was living, as I was having it too easy.
It takes a minimum of 12 years to get an Italian passport. I got it in a year.
I had an adoptive dad, a birth father and a mother who were trying to appease me for the years they screwed up. These people were the ones taking care of their dead beat parents back in Nigeria. Or their parents didn't care about them at all.
I walked into a church and became the church interpreter. And I used to come to church like once a month. These people had been speaking their Italian for the pastors for years and the niggas were not impressed enough to give them the mic, and if they ever did, they were more than happy to take it away from them and give it to me instead.
Of course they hated my guts. And it was all due to envy.
I remember the day I interpreted at my friend's wedding. When I arrived, another lady was already handling the task, but they later asked me to take over. After the party, I really wanted to meet this lady and get to know her. I thought she was cool. I later found her on Facebook and sent her a friend request. She left it hanging for five years.
Check out this Victoria of a lady. Why does she hate Tiwa? What did Tiwa do to her?
She called out Ycee for stealing her lyrics but called out Tiwa for being a baby girl at the age of 45. First of all Tiwa is not 45. It's obvious that this Victoria doesn't have any tangible reason for hating Tiwa. She just wishes she had what Tiwa has. However it is a lot easier to try and bring Tiwa down than to work hard to get to where Tiwa is today.
The day I finally understood envy was the day I started digging into the dark side of the human mind.
So I'm telling you, in fact I am begging you, if you are guilty of envy, trash it. It's a growth stunter. The person you envy is going to be soaring, while you will remain forever mediocre. Drop the unhealthy competition. Own your mediocrity. Find out how you can be like that person and grow even better than them, rather than dispense your energy trying to bring them down.
Trust me, you will see a change in your life. Contentment is a beautiful quality. Savour the little you have today and work hard to achieve more tomorrow.
I am a very straightforward person. If I like someone, I go for them and if I don't like someone, I stay in my lane.
I have reasons for liking someone and I have reasons for not liking someone. My reason for not liking someone is simple: he or she did something to me.
When I like someone it is usually because they are doing something that I like. I grow to admire them and at the same time nurture the desire to be like them or to also do that particular thing.
And that has always been the foundation of most my friendships, at least the ones I initiated.
I have no problem walking up to a person and telling them: I like what you are doing. Show me how to do it.
For this reason, envy was an emotion that was alien to me. I have never felt the need to talk shit about people just because that would have been easier than admitting that they were better than me at doing something.
Since I didn't envy people, I also felt that I couldn't be the object of someone's envy. I believed that if people saw me doing something that they liked, that they would walk up to me and tell me. I mean, there is joy in sharing, especially when it's going to contribute to making all of us better people.
I am a firm believer of chain reactions. If you teach someone something useful, they might also teach another person who might teach another person. Before you know it, from the one single gesture of sharing, you have spread knowledge to various people.
But I was wrong. And naive too.
Most people don't like it when you are doing better than them. They hate you and want to take you down.
Thinking of my life a few years ago, why would anybody want to take me down? I didn't have anything. Or so I thought.
I had lived my entire life taking so many things for granted, simply because I didn't work for them. They were all served to me on a silver platter.
My white dad, my Italian citizenship, my nice house, my brain. I didn't know their value.
Instead I focused on stuff like being broke and not being able to buy all the clothes and shoes that I wanted.
The day that I finally came to appreciate the value of what I had was the day I realised that all those years that I felt judged and disliked, was not out of the mere fact that these people had heard some unflattering information about me.
They simple believed that I didn't deserve the kind of life I was living, as I was having it too easy.
It takes a minimum of 12 years to get an Italian passport. I got it in a year.
I had an adoptive dad, a birth father and a mother who were trying to appease me for the years they screwed up. These people were the ones taking care of their dead beat parents back in Nigeria. Or their parents didn't care about them at all.
I walked into a church and became the church interpreter. And I used to come to church like once a month. These people had been speaking their Italian for the pastors for years and the niggas were not impressed enough to give them the mic, and if they ever did, they were more than happy to take it away from them and give it to me instead.
Of course they hated my guts. And it was all due to envy.
I remember the day I interpreted at my friend's wedding. When I arrived, another lady was already handling the task, but they later asked me to take over. After the party, I really wanted to meet this lady and get to know her. I thought she was cool. I later found her on Facebook and sent her a friend request. She left it hanging for five years.
Check out this Victoria of a lady. Why does she hate Tiwa? What did Tiwa do to her?
She called out Ycee for stealing her lyrics but called out Tiwa for being a baby girl at the age of 45. First of all Tiwa is not 45. It's obvious that this Victoria doesn't have any tangible reason for hating Tiwa. She just wishes she had what Tiwa has. However it is a lot easier to try and bring Tiwa down than to work hard to get to where Tiwa is today.
The day I finally understood envy was the day I started digging into the dark side of the human mind.
So I'm telling you, in fact I am begging you, if you are guilty of envy, trash it. It's a growth stunter. The person you envy is going to be soaring, while you will remain forever mediocre. Drop the unhealthy competition. Own your mediocrity. Find out how you can be like that person and grow even better than them, rather than dispense your energy trying to bring them down.
Trust me, you will see a change in your life. Contentment is a beautiful quality. Savour the little you have today and work hard to achieve more tomorrow.
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