In reality, your attitude does not matter. Nobody cares about how you feel about about something or someone. Just behave well. That's it.
People will often say that someone has bad attitude or that someone has an attitude. What they really mean is that someone is not behaving appropriately or engaging in behaviours that make them approachable.
We can replace behaviour with demeanour or conduct, if that serves better to illustrate what I mean.
In particular, demeanour is often called attitude since you are not really doing anything, instead you are just acting out. It can be the way you walk, talk or just the way you are.
Have you ever heard of the expression "resting bitch face"?
Back in those days when I used to work at customer service, customers would assume that I was not happy when in reality I was or I wasn't in any mood at all.
My attitude was one way, while my demeanour showed the opposite.
The more your behaviour reflects your attitude, the more you can be described as an authentic person. However authenticity comes at a very high price.
In Nigeria we do not encourage authenticity. We encourage hypocrisy. We must be nice and respectful at all times.
Telling someone that you do not like them and do not want to associate with them is probably the worst thing you can ever tell a Nigerian person. He or she would rather you called them prostitute or ritualist.
Italians have a saying: "Fare buon viso a cattivo gioco." (To play fair even when the game is rigged)
I don't do that.
Generally speaking, I am someone who acts on her attitude. You can easily tell when I am happy, sad or angry. I don't bother myself with the whole stress of behaving well all the time. It is too damn stressful for me.
And for that reason I have been accused of being badly behaved. Perhaps I haven't always been in my best behaviour, but let's be honest, who has?
A lot of times it's not about your behaviour, it's about the person engaging in it: you. People are biased, and for many different reasons.
Once I sense a bias, I will take it that my behaviour does not bother you. Instead it is my being that bothers you.
What am I trying to say is: to talk of bad attitude does not make sense, and it only makes sense in certain circumstances to talk about bad behaviour.
None of them can be objectively qualified, since they both fall under the umbrella of morality. It's about what is morally acceptable versus what is not.
I could ask what a bad behaviour is, and people would give me different answers and someone would still disagree with those answers.
But I still want to ask, what do you consider as bad behaviour?
People will often say that someone has bad attitude or that someone has an attitude. What they really mean is that someone is not behaving appropriately or engaging in behaviours that make them approachable.
We can replace behaviour with demeanour or conduct, if that serves better to illustrate what I mean.
In particular, demeanour is often called attitude since you are not really doing anything, instead you are just acting out. It can be the way you walk, talk or just the way you are.
Have you ever heard of the expression "resting bitch face"?
Back in those days when I used to work at customer service, customers would assume that I was not happy when in reality I was or I wasn't in any mood at all.
My attitude was one way, while my demeanour showed the opposite.
The more your behaviour reflects your attitude, the more you can be described as an authentic person. However authenticity comes at a very high price.
In Nigeria we do not encourage authenticity. We encourage hypocrisy. We must be nice and respectful at all times.
Telling someone that you do not like them and do not want to associate with them is probably the worst thing you can ever tell a Nigerian person. He or she would rather you called them prostitute or ritualist.
Italians have a saying: "Fare buon viso a cattivo gioco." (To play fair even when the game is rigged)
I don't do that.
Generally speaking, I am someone who acts on her attitude. You can easily tell when I am happy, sad or angry. I don't bother myself with the whole stress of behaving well all the time. It is too damn stressful for me.
And for that reason I have been accused of being badly behaved. Perhaps I haven't always been in my best behaviour, but let's be honest, who has?
A lot of times it's not about your behaviour, it's about the person engaging in it: you. People are biased, and for many different reasons.
Once I sense a bias, I will take it that my behaviour does not bother you. Instead it is my being that bothers you.
What am I trying to say is: to talk of bad attitude does not make sense, and it only makes sense in certain circumstances to talk about bad behaviour.
None of them can be objectively qualified, since they both fall under the umbrella of morality. It's about what is morally acceptable versus what is not.
I could ask what a bad behaviour is, and people would give me different answers and someone would still disagree with those answers.
But I still want to ask, what do you consider as bad behaviour?
No comments:
Post a Comment