If you are not a good girl, then you are a bad girl, and if you are a bad girl, then you could be lost.
(Note that the society does not care about this categorisation. It only cares about what it sees. Girls who behave well, and girls who don't. I'm the one going the extra mile to make a case for the different types of girls.)
Before we start, let us understand the psychological process that leads to the creation of "any" girl.
When people are exposed to toxicity or experience a traumatic event, they experience a split in their identity. There is the person they were before the trauma and the person they are after the trauma.
Identity is not to be confused with personality. And I'll explain why.
I read an article a while ago that said that people who speak multiple languages exhibit different personalities when they speak those languages. However their character remains the same.
This means that a person can have different personalities while having one sole identity.
As a matter of fact, the disorder commonly known as multiple personalities disorder is not really about personalities, instead it's about identities. A person affected by this disorder have multiple identities. Each identity has their personalities and their own unique character. Each identity also has their own unique name.
This is not to be confused with having an alter ego. An alter ego is an identity that a person chooses to create. People who suffer from MPD no not choose to split. They simply experience this split.
Back to our topic, what happens to a person's identity after they have been exposed to trauma? Like we said, there is a split. And the person will find themselves oscillating between these two identities for a period of time.
Most people who experience a traumatic event will oscillate between these two identities for the rest of their lives.
But the rest will lose their former identity completely.
Good girls belong to this group of people who have lost their original identity. And so do lost girls.
There is this general misconception that human beings are born empty. But that's not true. Human beings are born with basic instincts and personality traits. That's why babies can recognise their mum's smell, find the nipple to suck on and cry for attention.
Also babies can be quiet, cheerful, needy, clingy, sociable or unsociable. This proves that new born babies already possess a basic identity which needs the help of their parents or guardians to develop into a healthy adult identity.
However a toxic upbringing can damage this identity by splitting it or by completely erasing it.
Good girls are caught in a sort of limbo. They never got to fully transition into a new identity. Lost girls however have.
A particularity about lost girls is that they are very active, but in a negative way.
Our society does not make any distinction between bad girls and lost girls. Every girl that is not good is bad. But that sort of reasoning is not just reductive but also dangerous.
All you have to do to become a bad girl is to challenge the society and behave in a way that moral judges do not deem "good" for a girl. Yes, because morality is different for boys and for girls.
Feminists are bad girls.
Prostitutes are bad girls.
Cultists are bad girls.
Girls who have sex before marriage are bad girls.
Girls who don't go to church are bad girls.
Girls who don't obey their parents are bad girls.
In essence you are a bad girl, even when you are not even hurting anybody. Nobody cares about the reasons behind your "badness". Our society is dogmatic. Your reasons for not adhering to the standard of behaviour are irrelevant.
Why do I want to categorise bad girls? Because, just like we have posers among good girls, we also have lost girls among the bad girls.
Lost girls are girls who lost their original identity and transitioned fully into their new identity. And this new identity has one sole purpose: to spread the same hurt that they carry inside to other people.
Cultists are lost girls.
Abusive women are lost girls.
Paedophiles are lost girls.
Thieves are lost girls.
They speak hurt and pain because hurt and pain are the only languages that they know.
I call them lost girls because traces of their original identity are so weak that the normal "show her love" will not work. It usually takes the intervention of a professional to recover what they have lost. And it is not said that the professional will succeed.
---------------
What's the difference between posers and lost girls?
A poser can be a lost girl who wants to enjoy the benefits of a good girl. A poser can also be a bad girl who is afraid of being judged even though they are not doing anything bad.
Eg: I don't want people to know I'm having sex, so I lie that I'm a virgin.
So posers are not necessarily bad people who hurt other people. Lost girls are bad people who hurt other people.
There are lost girls who don't care for pretence. They show themselves for who they are. In psychological terma, we'd call anti-socials because they engage in behaviours that are particularly harmful to other people and the community.
Lost girls who pose as good girls are what we'd describe as narcissists. And they are so good at posing as good girls, that they are ones actually getting married, having children and perpetuating the chain of abuse.
(Note that the society does not care about this categorisation. It only cares about what it sees. Girls who behave well, and girls who don't. I'm the one going the extra mile to make a case for the different types of girls.)
Before we start, let us understand the psychological process that leads to the creation of "any" girl.
When people are exposed to toxicity or experience a traumatic event, they experience a split in their identity. There is the person they were before the trauma and the person they are after the trauma.
Identity is not to be confused with personality. And I'll explain why.
I read an article a while ago that said that people who speak multiple languages exhibit different personalities when they speak those languages. However their character remains the same.
This means that a person can have different personalities while having one sole identity.
As a matter of fact, the disorder commonly known as multiple personalities disorder is not really about personalities, instead it's about identities. A person affected by this disorder have multiple identities. Each identity has their personalities and their own unique character. Each identity also has their own unique name.
This is not to be confused with having an alter ego. An alter ego is an identity that a person chooses to create. People who suffer from MPD no not choose to split. They simply experience this split.
Back to our topic, what happens to a person's identity after they have been exposed to trauma? Like we said, there is a split. And the person will find themselves oscillating between these two identities for a period of time.
Most people who experience a traumatic event will oscillate between these two identities for the rest of their lives.
But the rest will lose their former identity completely.
Good girls belong to this group of people who have lost their original identity. And so do lost girls.
There is this general misconception that human beings are born empty. But that's not true. Human beings are born with basic instincts and personality traits. That's why babies can recognise their mum's smell, find the nipple to suck on and cry for attention.
Also babies can be quiet, cheerful, needy, clingy, sociable or unsociable. This proves that new born babies already possess a basic identity which needs the help of their parents or guardians to develop into a healthy adult identity.
However a toxic upbringing can damage this identity by splitting it or by completely erasing it.
Good girls are caught in a sort of limbo. They never got to fully transition into a new identity. Lost girls however have.
A particularity about lost girls is that they are very active, but in a negative way.
Our society does not make any distinction between bad girls and lost girls. Every girl that is not good is bad. But that sort of reasoning is not just reductive but also dangerous.
All you have to do to become a bad girl is to challenge the society and behave in a way that moral judges do not deem "good" for a girl. Yes, because morality is different for boys and for girls.
Feminists are bad girls.
Prostitutes are bad girls.
Cultists are bad girls.
Girls who have sex before marriage are bad girls.
Girls who don't go to church are bad girls.
Girls who don't obey their parents are bad girls.
In essence you are a bad girl, even when you are not even hurting anybody. Nobody cares about the reasons behind your "badness". Our society is dogmatic. Your reasons for not adhering to the standard of behaviour are irrelevant.
Why do I want to categorise bad girls? Because, just like we have posers among good girls, we also have lost girls among the bad girls.
Lost girls are girls who lost their original identity and transitioned fully into their new identity. And this new identity has one sole purpose: to spread the same hurt that they carry inside to other people.
Cultists are lost girls.
Abusive women are lost girls.
Paedophiles are lost girls.
Thieves are lost girls.
They speak hurt and pain because hurt and pain are the only languages that they know.
I call them lost girls because traces of their original identity are so weak that the normal "show her love" will not work. It usually takes the intervention of a professional to recover what they have lost. And it is not said that the professional will succeed.
---------------
What's the difference between posers and lost girls?
A poser can be a lost girl who wants to enjoy the benefits of a good girl. A poser can also be a bad girl who is afraid of being judged even though they are not doing anything bad.
Eg: I don't want people to know I'm having sex, so I lie that I'm a virgin.
So posers are not necessarily bad people who hurt other people. Lost girls are bad people who hurt other people.
There are lost girls who don't care for pretence. They show themselves for who they are. In psychological terma, we'd call anti-socials because they engage in behaviours that are particularly harmful to other people and the community.
Lost girls who pose as good girls are what we'd describe as narcissists. And they are so good at posing as good girls, that they are ones actually getting married, having children and perpetuating the chain of abuse.
No comments:
Post a Comment