Woman: "I found out that my husband is cheating on me. It's been really tough. We have been married for five years and have two kids together. He is rarely home and never spends time with the children. I work and take care of the children all by myself. I am overwhelmed, beside being heartbroken. The few times I tried talking about it with him, it resulted in huge fights which always led to his leaving the house and not coming back for several days. Now he just ignores me and gives me monosyllabic answers. I don't know what to do."
Adviser: "My dear, forget about your husband and focus on your children. Stop trying to talk with him, since you have seen that it is not going to take you anywhere. Since you are working and can take care of the kids yourself, stop asking him for things. Trust me, God is not asleep and one day your husband will realise his mistakes and make amends for every hurt that he is causing you and the children."
👆🏽 That advice up there is one of the most idiotic, insane and intellectually insulting advice that you can give a woman who is married to a lying piece of crap who is shameless about his irresponsible ways towards his children and about his adulterous lifestyle .
The purpose of being married is not to go and bear children and spend the rest of your life taking care of them.
Asking a woman to "focus on her kids" is not a sensible advice. It is stupid. Children are not the most important people in a marriage, the man and the woman are. In addition, children are not the purpose of a woman's life and being a mother is not and will never be enough to make her happy.
She got married to that man for the purpose of having a friend, a companion and a lover. If children had not come along, well, in my opinion, it would still be fine. Yes, we are Africans and marriage without children is not marriage. I know, but that is just cultural bullshit.
At no point in history has a marriage been considered null because the couple did not produce kids. If you want to leave your spouse because you were not able to have children, you will still have to go through a divorce, like you would if you had kids.
Being a mother and being a wife are two distinct roles. You need to be married to be a wife and you need have children to be a mother.
You only stop being a mother, if by misfortune, your children die, but you can stop being a wife even though your husband is still very well and alive.
If, at ant point, your husband becomes uninterested in the whole marriage, which could mean that he is cheating, that is he no longer having sex with you or that he has built a whole separate life from the non existent one you have together, you are as good as a widow.
And do you know what widows should do? They should mourn their dead(beat) husbands and move the fuck on with their lives.
So, the right advice to give that woman is: "Start working on an exit plan. You deserve to have a man who will love you, respect you and participate in the upbringing of your children. That's the whole point of being married and deciding to start a family together."
You can paraphrase it, complicate it or simplify it, but that has to be the crux of the matter. SHE DESERVES TO BE HAPPY.
Besides, you would never tell a man whose wife is a cheating asshole to focus on his kids and leave God to redirect her steps. No, you wouldn't, you misogynistic self loathing piece of garbage.
The year 2018 is almost coming to an end, and you can't start the year 2019 being a lobotomised upholder of patriarchal cow dung.
If you have ever given this advice to any woman, or man (I highly doubt that), call her up and apologise to her. Then apologise to yourself for being ungrateful to have been born a human being, when you could have been born a mosquito; a mosquito that only feeds on the blood of gonorrhoeic patients.
Thank you.
Adviser: "My dear, forget about your husband and focus on your children. Stop trying to talk with him, since you have seen that it is not going to take you anywhere. Since you are working and can take care of the kids yourself, stop asking him for things. Trust me, God is not asleep and one day your husband will realise his mistakes and make amends for every hurt that he is causing you and the children."
👆🏽 That advice up there is one of the most idiotic, insane and intellectually insulting advice that you can give a woman who is married to a lying piece of crap who is shameless about his irresponsible ways towards his children and about his adulterous lifestyle .
The purpose of being married is not to go and bear children and spend the rest of your life taking care of them.
Asking a woman to "focus on her kids" is not a sensible advice. It is stupid. Children are not the most important people in a marriage, the man and the woman are. In addition, children are not the purpose of a woman's life and being a mother is not and will never be enough to make her happy.
She got married to that man for the purpose of having a friend, a companion and a lover. If children had not come along, well, in my opinion, it would still be fine. Yes, we are Africans and marriage without children is not marriage. I know, but that is just cultural bullshit.
At no point in history has a marriage been considered null because the couple did not produce kids. If you want to leave your spouse because you were not able to have children, you will still have to go through a divorce, like you would if you had kids.
Being a mother and being a wife are two distinct roles. You need to be married to be a wife and you need have children to be a mother.
You only stop being a mother, if by misfortune, your children die, but you can stop being a wife even though your husband is still very well and alive.
If, at ant point, your husband becomes uninterested in the whole marriage, which could mean that he is cheating, that is he no longer having sex with you or that he has built a whole separate life from the non existent one you have together, you are as good as a widow.
And do you know what widows should do? They should mourn their dead(beat) husbands and move the fuck on with their lives.
So, the right advice to give that woman is: "Start working on an exit plan. You deserve to have a man who will love you, respect you and participate in the upbringing of your children. That's the whole point of being married and deciding to start a family together."
You can paraphrase it, complicate it or simplify it, but that has to be the crux of the matter. SHE DESERVES TO BE HAPPY.
Besides, you would never tell a man whose wife is a cheating asshole to focus on his kids and leave God to redirect her steps. No, you wouldn't, you misogynistic self loathing piece of garbage.
The year 2018 is almost coming to an end, and you can't start the year 2019 being a lobotomised upholder of patriarchal cow dung.
If you have ever given this advice to any woman, or man (I highly doubt that), call her up and apologise to her. Then apologise to yourself for being ungrateful to have been born a human being, when you could have been born a mosquito; a mosquito that only feeds on the blood of gonorrhoeic patients.
Thank you.
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