The average Nigerian woman's reality is not my reality.
My circumstances are more racially influenced than gender influenced. I will never experience most of the things that a woman my age in Nigeria experiences almost on a daily basis.
- I will never be age/slut/marriage shamed here in the UK
- I'll never be followed by a crowd hurling insults at me because my dress is too short.
- I'll never be stripped naked because I'm dressed "indecently.
- I'll never be denied a job because I'm married.
- I'll never be forced to stay at home from school because I cannot afford to buy sanitary pads.
- I'll never be denied a house because I'm not married.
- I'll never be called ashawo by a man just because he can.
- I'll never have to worry about submission and all that crap about stooping low to conquer.
- I'll never worry about in-laws, pastors and elders from the village.
- A divorce will never scare me.
- I'll never report a case of domestic violence only to be told that it's a family matter.
- I'll never be raped by my husband only to be told that he owns me because he paid my bride price.
- E.t.c..
But I still write about all these things. I write about them because the are the reality of most Nigerian women. And those women will raise girls inside that same reality.
It's not enough to give girls an education and a job, if they are still going to throw them away in the name of marriage. Empowerment is nothing without mental emancipation.
That your reality is not this reality does not mean that you should trivialize it. There is a reason why your ideas are not resonating with these women's minds. You are talking about feminism 100 years from now. The kind of feminism that abroadians practise in the West.
Nigerian women from poor and middle background experience a massive cultural shock when they travel abroad. They feel like they have travelled 100 years into the future.
They no longer have to struggle over those issues that hindered them massively back home.
Nobody cares about how they dress, talk, walk or where they go. And when they speak, people listen.
The police listen.
The court of law listens.
Their friends listen.
When they are not in their Nigerian circle, they even forget that they are women. They live like people.
But one thing we forget is that the west did not reach that level of eqality in one day. It took them more than 100 years. 100 years of women protesting, marching, getting jailed, beaten, raped and killed.
Nigeria is practically an infant as far as feminim is concerned, and yet you want to teach her how to drive already.
She can't crawl yet.
She can't talk yet.
She can't even stand yet.
Person wey still dey foam for want, you want make e dey drive car. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Anyway, wetin concern me. Carry on with your mature feminism.
I will carry on with my trivial, unimportant and irrelevant issues.
So as we were saying, how do we cure Nigerians of the saviour complex? 🤔
My circumstances are more racially influenced than gender influenced. I will never experience most of the things that a woman my age in Nigeria experiences almost on a daily basis.
- I will never be age/slut/marriage shamed here in the UK
- I'll never be followed by a crowd hurling insults at me because my dress is too short.
- I'll never be stripped naked because I'm dressed "indecently.
- I'll never be denied a job because I'm married.
- I'll never be forced to stay at home from school because I cannot afford to buy sanitary pads.
- I'll never be denied a house because I'm not married.
- I'll never be called ashawo by a man just because he can.
- I'll never have to worry about submission and all that crap about stooping low to conquer.
- I'll never worry about in-laws, pastors and elders from the village.
- A divorce will never scare me.
- I'll never report a case of domestic violence only to be told that it's a family matter.
- I'll never be raped by my husband only to be told that he owns me because he paid my bride price.
- E.t.c..
But I still write about all these things. I write about them because the are the reality of most Nigerian women. And those women will raise girls inside that same reality.
It's not enough to give girls an education and a job, if they are still going to throw them away in the name of marriage. Empowerment is nothing without mental emancipation.
That your reality is not this reality does not mean that you should trivialize it. There is a reason why your ideas are not resonating with these women's minds. You are talking about feminism 100 years from now. The kind of feminism that abroadians practise in the West.
Nigerian women from poor and middle background experience a massive cultural shock when they travel abroad. They feel like they have travelled 100 years into the future.
They no longer have to struggle over those issues that hindered them massively back home.
Nobody cares about how they dress, talk, walk or where they go. And when they speak, people listen.
The police listen.
The court of law listens.
Their friends listen.
When they are not in their Nigerian circle, they even forget that they are women. They live like people.
But one thing we forget is that the west did not reach that level of eqality in one day. It took them more than 100 years. 100 years of women protesting, marching, getting jailed, beaten, raped and killed.
Nigeria is practically an infant as far as feminim is concerned, and yet you want to teach her how to drive already.
She can't crawl yet.
She can't talk yet.
She can't even stand yet.
Person wey still dey foam for want, you want make e dey drive car. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Anyway, wetin concern me. Carry on with your mature feminism.
I will carry on with my trivial, unimportant and irrelevant issues.
So as we were saying, how do we cure Nigerians of the saviour complex? 🤔
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