Anti-conformist: Divorce is an option.
Average Nigerian: Divorce is not an option. What God has put together, no man can put asunder. Marriage is for life.
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Project manager: So, Madam, as you can see we have finished building the house and you can move in any time.
Average Nigerian: Ah, manager, this is really beautiful.
Project manager: Well, we built it exactly the way you wanted it.
Average Nigerian: I can see that. I specially requested for those African drums.
Project manager: Please, follow me, let me show you around.
*They go to the kitchen*
Project manager: Here is your fridge, with all the food you will ever need.
*They go to the bedroom*
Project manager: And here is your safe, with all the money you will ever need. We also have a wardrobe with all the clothes you will ever need. Not to forget the borehole with all the water you will ever need.
Average Nigerian: You keep saying "you will ever need". What do you mean?
Project manager: Well, once you move into the house, we will remove the entrance door and replace it with a wall.
Average Nigerian: You want to "wall me alive"?
Project manager: No, Madam. You are not in danger at all. In this house you will have everything you will ever need, for the rest of your life.
Average Nigerian: What if NEPA takes light? Does this house have a generator?
Project: Yes, there is a generator in the backyard.
Average Nigerian: Is there a door to the backyard?
Project manager: No, Madam.
Average Nigerian: So, who will be oning it and offing it? Or is it automatic? And does it have all the fuel I will ever need?
Project manager: No, Madam, the generator is not automatic. But yes, we have a supply of all the fuel you will ever need.
Average Nigerian: And who will be putting the fuel inside the generator?
Project manager: You don't have to worry. If you ever need help to do something that requires you to leave the house, you can simply call for help through your windows.
Average Nigerian: Ah, at least I have windows that I can use to escape this prison.
Project manager: Not really, Madam. You see the windows can be opened, Ok? But they have iron bars that are too small for any human being to pass through.
Average Nigerian: Is your brain paining you?
Project manager: No, Madam. My brain is fine.
Average Nigerian: Then why are you talking like someone that your brain is paining? You want me to move into a house I cannot leave. Then you put windows for me. But I cannot even pass them. It is for me to be looking at people who can freely leave their own houses. What if food finish, water finish, money finish or NEPA take light? What if there is a fire or an earthquake? And you are saying that your brain is not paining you. Manager, you are a wicked man. Please, I don't want this house again. I want another house.
Project manager: All our houses are like this.
Average Nigerian: Ah, this country is a very useless country. Buhari must hear this.
Project manager: Buhari only deals with corruption.
Average Nigerian: *speechless*
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If you know, you know. 😎
Average Nigerian: Divorce is not an option. What God has put together, no man can put asunder. Marriage is for life.
----------------
Project manager: So, Madam, as you can see we have finished building the house and you can move in any time.
Average Nigerian: Ah, manager, this is really beautiful.
Project manager: Well, we built it exactly the way you wanted it.
Average Nigerian: I can see that. I specially requested for those African drums.
Project manager: Please, follow me, let me show you around.
*They go to the kitchen*
Project manager: Here is your fridge, with all the food you will ever need.
*They go to the bedroom*
Project manager: And here is your safe, with all the money you will ever need. We also have a wardrobe with all the clothes you will ever need. Not to forget the borehole with all the water you will ever need.
Average Nigerian: You keep saying "you will ever need". What do you mean?
Project manager: Well, once you move into the house, we will remove the entrance door and replace it with a wall.
Average Nigerian: You want to "wall me alive"?
Project manager: No, Madam. You are not in danger at all. In this house you will have everything you will ever need, for the rest of your life.
Average Nigerian: What if NEPA takes light? Does this house have a generator?
Project: Yes, there is a generator in the backyard.
Average Nigerian: Is there a door to the backyard?
Project manager: No, Madam.
Average Nigerian: So, who will be oning it and offing it? Or is it automatic? And does it have all the fuel I will ever need?
Project manager: No, Madam, the generator is not automatic. But yes, we have a supply of all the fuel you will ever need.
Average Nigerian: And who will be putting the fuel inside the generator?
Project manager: You don't have to worry. If you ever need help to do something that requires you to leave the house, you can simply call for help through your windows.
Average Nigerian: Ah, at least I have windows that I can use to escape this prison.
Project manager: Not really, Madam. You see the windows can be opened, Ok? But they have iron bars that are too small for any human being to pass through.
Average Nigerian: Is your brain paining you?
Project manager: No, Madam. My brain is fine.
Average Nigerian: Then why are you talking like someone that your brain is paining? You want me to move into a house I cannot leave. Then you put windows for me. But I cannot even pass them. It is for me to be looking at people who can freely leave their own houses. What if food finish, water finish, money finish or NEPA take light? What if there is a fire or an earthquake? And you are saying that your brain is not paining you. Manager, you are a wicked man. Please, I don't want this house again. I want another house.
Project manager: All our houses are like this.
Average Nigerian: Ah, this country is a very useless country. Buhari must hear this.
Project manager: Buhari only deals with corruption.
Average Nigerian: *speechless*
-----------------
If you know, you know. 😎
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