DEAR PATRIARCHAL MAN, HER MONEY IS HER MONEY.

Not until long ago, I used to think that it was an act of wickedness for a woman to withhold her money, while her family struggled financially. As a feminist, I believed that a woman should go all in for her kids and always ensure that they had the best that she could afford. And I still believe so. Just that now, I have changed my mind about the conditions in which that is permissible.

The current marriage setting in Nigeria is extremely unfair to women. It was unfair before, and it has become even more unfair as feminist ideas are spreading across the country. While Nigerian men want to retain their patriarchal privileges, they also want the woman to embrace the feminist idea of a financially empowered woman who contributes 50% to the household expenses. And so we have a woman who still carries out all the domestic work, and now does 50% of what the man is supposed to do. If you ask me, I'll say this is nonsense.

Any man who wants to enjoy patriarchal privileges must be ready to play his patriarchal role 100%. He must provide everything in the house, including an allowance for his wife, no matter how much she earns. It doesn't matter if she earns more than him. He must still drop money for her personal upkeep every month.

And if the man can no longer fulfil his role, then the family can as well go hungry, unless he is ready to swap roles or also start performing 50% of the woman's duties, so that she can chip in and help him.

If the man refuses to step up and do the needful, the woman is perfectly within her rights to carry her children and leave the marriage. If it comes to the point where she has to be doing EVERYTHING in the marriage, then she is better off as a single mother. At least she won't be saddled with the responsibility of looking after an adult man who refuses to make himself useful.

My only concern is for those women who do not make this bold step and instead stay back in the marriage, where their kids often pay the ultimate price. Your children shouldn't have to drop out of school or even worse, die, just because you are married to an utterly useless man.

Single motherhood is way way better than being married to a man who brings absolutely nothing to the table. All he has to do is go out there and make money, and the efulefu cannot even do that. OK, partake in the housekeeping, he won't do that either. He says it is beneath him. Woman, throw him away and find your way.

Even the Bible says so: A man who cannot provide for his family is worse than an infidel.

There are many ways a man can provide for his family. If he cannot bring in the money, then he can provide cooked food, a clean house, clean clothes, bathed kids and a loving home.

Otherwise, TRASH HIM.