And guess what? I do not care.
Like everything else in Nigeria, respect has been bastardised to mean docility, servitude and conformity.
If you do a quick search on my profile, you will find past posts I made about social contracts, social hierarchy and a recent one I wrote on privileges.
In Nigeria, we thrive on privileges. Starting from the moment we are born, we can tell the quality of life we are going to have based on certain elements.
1. Are you male against being female?
2. Are you rich against being poor?
3. Are you from a particular ethnic group against being from another one?
4. Are your parents spiritual leaders of any sort?
5. Were you born within the legitimacy of marriage as opposed to being born outside wedlock?
etc.
If you were born with either one of these privileges or with multiple of these privileges, you are automatically entitled to being respected by those who do not have those same privileges.
That respect is absolute and uncontested. And yes, you are not under any obligation to respect the less privileged people. You only respect those people who are more privileged than you.
That up there is what respect is all about in Nigeria and among Nigerians.
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There are groups of people I automatically discard from my list of people to respect.
1. Misogynists and supporters of patriarchy;
2. Homophobic folks;
3. Entitled people;
4. Religious bigots.
If you belong in any of these categories, forget that I will ever respect you.Your ideas alone violate the fundamental rights of an individual. You do not deserve any respect and I will not be civil with you.
Now, to those Nigerians who believe that they deserve my unquestionable respect based on a privilege, I have this to say: I will respect you as long as you respect yourself and respect me.
Do not be a fool and disrespect me because I will come at you like a bull.
Do not play the parent, elder, pastor, man or rich cards with me. They won't work. Once I have stripped you of that respect, you will have to work to earn it back.
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People do not respect themselves. Perhaps they are oblivious of the change that is going on or perhaps they are just delusional to think that certain things will never change.
Nobody has time to give unmerited respect to anybody anymore. Our irrational fear of questioning these imaginary authorities is what has reduced Nigeria to being a beggar.
"Respect his old age".
"Touch not my anointed."
"Don't you know I am a man?"
"Do you know who I am?"
Is this not madness?
Forget that rubbish you see on Twitter. Most of the people insulting celebrities would not even dare to speak in their presence. These people appear rich.
Nigerians do not walk the talk.
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There are many things I consider disrespectful to my person and regardless of who you are, if you attempt any of them, you would have earned yourself my disrespect.
I am not here to observe anybody's privilege. I myself I am privileged. Privileges are things of the world. But privileges also foster inequality and inequity.
You have the privilege of being born healthy with all your limbs intact. Does that mean you have the right to treat people suffering from one form of disability or another with disrespect?
Let me not forget to mention those women who think that a marriage certificate makes them better, smarter and more morally upstanding than women who haven't got one.
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The point of the matter is respect yourself. Never take it for granted that everybody will recognise your privilege. There are people out there who do not give an absolute damn.
I know the kind of behaviours that will make me disrespect someone and I try my best to not indulge in them, so I won't be at the receiving end of disrespect myself.
In conclusion, whoever is out there crying foul that Mavis has disrespected him or her, guess what? You had it coming.
Next time, FUCKING RESPECT YOURSELF.
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