"If a woman submits to her husband, he will love her".
Wrong. Men don't love submissive women. Men love how submissive women make them feel about themselves. Men are generally attracted to alpha females but alpha females tend to make bad wives in a context like ours (Nigerian marriage). These women are usually extremely independent and autonomous, so they hardly fit into the role of the Nigerian wife who must bear it all to keep her marriage afloat. So in order to secure the longevity of their marriage - because even Nigerian men want long lasting marriages even though they do not want to work for it - these men go for submissive women who are willing to take the role instead.
What submissive women need to learn is that being submissive to a man won't make him love them or respect them. What submission earns them, instead, is benevolence. The man appreciates that the woman is being a good wife and, in return, he treats her well, at least according to Nigerian standards which practically start and end with being financially responsible for her and their children.
WHY DO YOU SAY MEN DON'T RESPECT SUBMISSIVE WOMEN?
Simple: these women don't command respect because they have zero standards. When you have no standards and are willing to accept anything, people will take you for granted.
Submissive women hardly initiate a divorce, too. Their best move is to pack their stuff and move to their parents' house, hoping that the man will come and beg them. If you ever hear that a submissive woman's marriage has come to an end, it's almost always on the man's initiative.
"When a woman loves a man, she automatically submits to him".
Again, wrong. Unless it's part of a woman's personality to be submissive and to remain in the background, no matter how much she loves a man, she will never submit to him. These women are known as alpha females. An alpha female can become more patient, more tolerant and more accommodating for the sake of the relationship but this usually has a stretch limit. At some point she will snap, retaliate or even end the relationship if there is no reciprocity.
Alpha females find it extremely hard to have long lasting relationships with average Nigerian men because they are socially incompatible. It's either the men dump them to marry submissive women or they get married and divorce within a few years. These women are not just Nigerian wife material.
In Nigeria, the moment a man and a woman become a couple, the strict gender roles dictates that the woman takes several steps back and that she allows the man to take the lead. Even alpha males, who are naturally attracted to alpha females, also succumb to societal pressure, because our upbringing has reprogrammed them to view the latter as unsuitable partners when it comes marriage.
Ironic fact: the same traits that attract a man to an alpha female are the same traits make her undesirable for marriage and that's because an alpha female has standards. Besides financial responsibility, she demands that the man respects her. And her definition of respect does not mean "don't cheat in my face". It means "don't cheat at all".
MY EXPERIENCE AS AN ALPHA FEMALE WHO HAS DATED AFRICAN MEN
Because of my ideas, the way I'm wired and what I generally like in a man, only a tiny percentage of African men fit into my spec. For this reason I have always ended up dating men who were close to being my spec but still were not quite it by several miles; and it's been one disaster after the other. After all the initial passion and fascination, the incompatibility start rearing its ugly head. They realise that I'm not willing to "come down for them" and I start getting irritated by their constant attempts to get me to "come down for them". It becomes a struggle for power. We start fighting constantly, then we stop speaking to each other and finally we break up. This is a pattern that most alpha females will recognise.
Wrong. Men don't love submissive women. Men love how submissive women make them feel about themselves. Men are generally attracted to alpha females but alpha females tend to make bad wives in a context like ours (Nigerian marriage). These women are usually extremely independent and autonomous, so they hardly fit into the role of the Nigerian wife who must bear it all to keep her marriage afloat. So in order to secure the longevity of their marriage - because even Nigerian men want long lasting marriages even though they do not want to work for it - these men go for submissive women who are willing to take the role instead.
What submissive women need to learn is that being submissive to a man won't make him love them or respect them. What submission earns them, instead, is benevolence. The man appreciates that the woman is being a good wife and, in return, he treats her well, at least according to Nigerian standards which practically start and end with being financially responsible for her and their children.
WHY DO YOU SAY MEN DON'T RESPECT SUBMISSIVE WOMEN?
Simple: these women don't command respect because they have zero standards. When you have no standards and are willing to accept anything, people will take you for granted.
Submissive women hardly initiate a divorce, too. Their best move is to pack their stuff and move to their parents' house, hoping that the man will come and beg them. If you ever hear that a submissive woman's marriage has come to an end, it's almost always on the man's initiative.
"When a woman loves a man, she automatically submits to him".
Again, wrong. Unless it's part of a woman's personality to be submissive and to remain in the background, no matter how much she loves a man, she will never submit to him. These women are known as alpha females. An alpha female can become more patient, more tolerant and more accommodating for the sake of the relationship but this usually has a stretch limit. At some point she will snap, retaliate or even end the relationship if there is no reciprocity.
Alpha females find it extremely hard to have long lasting relationships with average Nigerian men because they are socially incompatible. It's either the men dump them to marry submissive women or they get married and divorce within a few years. These women are not just Nigerian wife material.
In Nigeria, the moment a man and a woman become a couple, the strict gender roles dictates that the woman takes several steps back and that she allows the man to take the lead. Even alpha males, who are naturally attracted to alpha females, also succumb to societal pressure, because our upbringing has reprogrammed them to view the latter as unsuitable partners when it comes marriage.
Ironic fact: the same traits that attract a man to an alpha female are the same traits make her undesirable for marriage and that's because an alpha female has standards. Besides financial responsibility, she demands that the man respects her. And her definition of respect does not mean "don't cheat in my face". It means "don't cheat at all".
MY EXPERIENCE AS AN ALPHA FEMALE WHO HAS DATED AFRICAN MEN
Because of my ideas, the way I'm wired and what I generally like in a man, only a tiny percentage of African men fit into my spec. For this reason I have always ended up dating men who were close to being my spec but still were not quite it by several miles; and it's been one disaster after the other. After all the initial passion and fascination, the incompatibility start rearing its ugly head. They realise that I'm not willing to "come down for them" and I start getting irritated by their constant attempts to get me to "come down for them". It becomes a struggle for power. We start fighting constantly, then we stop speaking to each other and finally we break up. This is a pattern that most alpha females will recognise.
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