Last week, a woman came on Twitter to pour out her soul, after she had found that her boyfriend was getting married to another woman.
She was distraught and shattered. You could feel that her pain was great and deep. She wanted an explanation. Just any explanation.
"Ayo, why did you do this?"
Guess what the majority of Nigerians who read her tweets told her. They told her to let it go and move on. "Move on", they said, "the man does not owe you anything. As long as you are not married to him, he does not owe you any loyalty or commitment".
This was a man she had shared moments with. Most probably she had also had sex with him. This was a man who didn't decline an invitation to visit her mother and even eat her food in her house. This was a man she went house hunting with. This was a man she did all of these things with and more.
However, when the news broke, people expected her to just deal with it and move on with her live.
Posts were written on how women should not expect anything from a man who has not made any commitment to them. With commitment being marriage.
"If man never marry you, nor put am for mind o".
What about the woman, Titi, whom the man was getting married to? Well, Titi was getting sympathy and low key accolades.
For Titi to have been CHOSEN, Titi must have been a virtuous woman; a woman of honour and outstanding character. Most people believed that Titi was the true one deserving of love because Titi was, again, the CHOSEN one.
Yes, unless a man decides that you are good enough for marriage, you are a cheap whore. And once a man has married you, he bestows you with privileges that will last you as long as you stay married to him.
One of the privileges dictates that the moment a woman gets married, everybody becomes accountable to her. Everybody.
Another privilege states that whatever bad behaviours and crimes she commits in the name of that marriage, she will never be held accountable.
A married woman can decide to wake up one day and call another woman "husband snatcher" and everybody will pounce on that other woman.
She can even attack this other woman. Beat her up. Strip her naked and record everything on video, and majority of people will still side with her.
"She is just trying to protect her marriage na."
Because every other woman is accountable to her by the virtue of marriage.
What about the women whom her husband is having affairs with? The mistresses, the side chicks, the lovers?
Well, these woman are evil, they are culprits. They are home wreckers. They deserve to be punished in the name of her marriage.
How ironic. The same people who say that a boyfriend does not owe you anything, are now chanting that a strange woman owes you an explanation because you are jow married.
A man who sleeps with you, spends time with you, confides in you, shares his dreams with you and plans with you, does not owe you anything.
But a strange woman who has never done of any these things with you and who might not even know of your existence owes you EVERYTHING because, you know, pesin don marry.
😂😂😂😂
See privilege, see hypocrisy.
Nigerian woman, you are mad. As in you are very very mad.
The day you realise that you are mad, that is day you will start finding a cure for your madness.
Many of the women, including feminists, who are casting stones at side chicks do not even understand that they are playing into a patriarchal narrative. They believe that they are being just because they are not exonerating the husband. They are sharing blames, which according to them is the right thing to do.
No, no. That is not right. There is no sharing of blame here.
If your boyfriend does not owe you anything, then, trust me, a stranger owes you less than nothing.
Whether she knows that your husband is married or not is irrelevant. She doesn't owe you anything. NIENTE. NADA. RIEN.
If your husband did the asking out, he is 100% at fault.
If your husband accepted her sexual advances, then he is still 100% at fault.
He can keep his eyes off other women and he can say no to other women. If he says no, they won't rape him.
YOUR HUSBAND ALWAYS HAS A CHOICE.
It takes two to tango.
One no means "no tango".
LET THAT "NO" COME FROM YOUR HUSBAND.
"My side rat experience"?
🤣🤣🤣🤣 You mean "MY DOG HUSBAND EXPERIENCE".
Rat ko, mouse ni.
She was distraught and shattered. You could feel that her pain was great and deep. She wanted an explanation. Just any explanation.
"Ayo, why did you do this?"
Guess what the majority of Nigerians who read her tweets told her. They told her to let it go and move on. "Move on", they said, "the man does not owe you anything. As long as you are not married to him, he does not owe you any loyalty or commitment".
This was a man she had shared moments with. Most probably she had also had sex with him. This was a man who didn't decline an invitation to visit her mother and even eat her food in her house. This was a man she went house hunting with. This was a man she did all of these things with and more.
However, when the news broke, people expected her to just deal with it and move on with her live.
Posts were written on how women should not expect anything from a man who has not made any commitment to them. With commitment being marriage.
"If man never marry you, nor put am for mind o".
What about the woman, Titi, whom the man was getting married to? Well, Titi was getting sympathy and low key accolades.
For Titi to have been CHOSEN, Titi must have been a virtuous woman; a woman of honour and outstanding character. Most people believed that Titi was the true one deserving of love because Titi was, again, the CHOSEN one.
Yes, unless a man decides that you are good enough for marriage, you are a cheap whore. And once a man has married you, he bestows you with privileges that will last you as long as you stay married to him.
One of the privileges dictates that the moment a woman gets married, everybody becomes accountable to her. Everybody.
Another privilege states that whatever bad behaviours and crimes she commits in the name of that marriage, she will never be held accountable.
A married woman can decide to wake up one day and call another woman "husband snatcher" and everybody will pounce on that other woman.
She can even attack this other woman. Beat her up. Strip her naked and record everything on video, and majority of people will still side with her.
"She is just trying to protect her marriage na."
Because every other woman is accountable to her by the virtue of marriage.
What about the women whom her husband is having affairs with? The mistresses, the side chicks, the lovers?
Well, these woman are evil, they are culprits. They are home wreckers. They deserve to be punished in the name of her marriage.
How ironic. The same people who say that a boyfriend does not owe you anything, are now chanting that a strange woman owes you an explanation because you are jow married.
A man who sleeps with you, spends time with you, confides in you, shares his dreams with you and plans with you, does not owe you anything.
But a strange woman who has never done of any these things with you and who might not even know of your existence owes you EVERYTHING because, you know, pesin don marry.
😂😂😂😂
See privilege, see hypocrisy.
Nigerian woman, you are mad. As in you are very very mad.
The day you realise that you are mad, that is day you will start finding a cure for your madness.
Many of the women, including feminists, who are casting stones at side chicks do not even understand that they are playing into a patriarchal narrative. They believe that they are being just because they are not exonerating the husband. They are sharing blames, which according to them is the right thing to do.
No, no. That is not right. There is no sharing of blame here.
If your boyfriend does not owe you anything, then, trust me, a stranger owes you less than nothing.
Whether she knows that your husband is married or not is irrelevant. She doesn't owe you anything. NIENTE. NADA. RIEN.
If your husband did the asking out, he is 100% at fault.
If your husband accepted her sexual advances, then he is still 100% at fault.
He can keep his eyes off other women and he can say no to other women. If he says no, they won't rape him.
YOUR HUSBAND ALWAYS HAS A CHOICE.
It takes two to tango.
One no means "no tango".
LET THAT "NO" COME FROM YOUR HUSBAND.
"My side rat experience"?
🤣🤣🤣🤣 You mean "MY DOG HUSBAND EXPERIENCE".
Rat ko, mouse ni.
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