You know the kind of society we live in. You know who matters and who doesn't. You are fully aware of what it means to be a man, a woman, rich, poor, old and young. You know what it is like to be religious and not religious. You know what it is like to have the support of your family and not have it. You what it is like to know people in high places and not know anybody who matters.
You know all of this, and yet you remain myopic and biased. You hear of equality and all of a sudden everybody must be judged using the same scale. Except not.
In Nigeria, men matter more than women. Brothers matter more than sisters. Husbands matter more than wives.
A man is a person who has a voice. He speaks and people listen. A man does not have to go too far or even make a lot of noise for his voice to be heard. He can be soft spoken and his words would still resonate loud and clear.
Do you know what? Scrap that.
A man is a person who does not need a voice to be heard in our society because he has everybody speaking for him. His family speaks for him. The men outside speak for him. Women outside speak for him. The pastor speaks for him. The president speaks for him. When he gets married, even his wife will speak for him.
A man has the power of a deafening silence and the echo of a million voices.
But women. What voice has a woman got? Who speaks for her? And when she speaks, who listens to her?
I won't answer this question right away because I want you to answer it on your own. I want to see if you are an honest person.
To be born a woman is to be born guilty. You are guilty of offences you have committed. You are guilty of the offences you have not committed. You are also guilty of the offences other people have or have not yet committed.
You are the scapegoat of the society. You only matter when there is a blame to be appropriated.
A woman, for the purpose she serves in the society, has not got a voice for she does not need one. And it's not because she has people to speak for her. Nobody speaks for her and nobody listens to her when she speaks. She is a nobody, an appendage, if we want to be nice.
For these reasons, when a woman runs to social media to vent, I give her the same benefit of doubt that I'd give to a woman who walked out of her marriage. She must have tried it all.
That woman must have tried to speak with her husband, who did not listen.
She must have tried to speak with his family, who did not listen.
She must have tried to speak with her own family, who did not listen.
She must have even tried to speak with her pastor, who yet again did not listen.
Eventually she comes on social media. And she finds people who are willing to listen. The families and pastors who turned a deaf ear to all her laments suddenly become attentive too.
A man has a lot of ears to speak into. He does not need social media to be heard. It is safe to say that a man who resorts to social media to air his grievances is not doing so out of distress. He is doing so out of manipulation.
Gbenro wrote it himself. He has the support of his family. For what did he need social media?
"Party", "stranger", two terms that nobody in Nigeria wants to read in the same sentence as wife or mother.
He knew what he was doing. But I will not be a fool and join his charade. Because I know better.
Social media is the biggest blessing to have happened to the most vulnerable members of our society.
Thanks to social media, female empowerment has become a daily topic, in every part of the world. Even the most conservative countries are having this discussion.
Social media has also brought forth the issue of child labour, sex trafficking, and organ harvesting. All crimes that involve children.
Social media has helped people with disabilities in certain parts of Nigeria. Now a child no longer has to crawl to his classroom, and men and women on wheelchairs can climb ramps and run errands at various business buildings.
The poor who cannot pay for their medical bills are getting funds through social media.
These are the kinds of people who deserve the benefit of doubt when they run to social media to call for help; not the ones who already have a voice of their own.
I agree that there are double standards. I agree that men can be victims of double standards. However, in this particular case, there is no double standard.
There is just this man who was not satisfied until everybody had heard him.
You know all of this, and yet you remain myopic and biased. You hear of equality and all of a sudden everybody must be judged using the same scale. Except not.
In Nigeria, men matter more than women. Brothers matter more than sisters. Husbands matter more than wives.
A man is a person who has a voice. He speaks and people listen. A man does not have to go too far or even make a lot of noise for his voice to be heard. He can be soft spoken and his words would still resonate loud and clear.
Do you know what? Scrap that.
A man is a person who does not need a voice to be heard in our society because he has everybody speaking for him. His family speaks for him. The men outside speak for him. Women outside speak for him. The pastor speaks for him. The president speaks for him. When he gets married, even his wife will speak for him.
A man has the power of a deafening silence and the echo of a million voices.
But women. What voice has a woman got? Who speaks for her? And when she speaks, who listens to her?
I won't answer this question right away because I want you to answer it on your own. I want to see if you are an honest person.
To be born a woman is to be born guilty. You are guilty of offences you have committed. You are guilty of the offences you have not committed. You are also guilty of the offences other people have or have not yet committed.
You are the scapegoat of the society. You only matter when there is a blame to be appropriated.
A woman, for the purpose she serves in the society, has not got a voice for she does not need one. And it's not because she has people to speak for her. Nobody speaks for her and nobody listens to her when she speaks. She is a nobody, an appendage, if we want to be nice.
For these reasons, when a woman runs to social media to vent, I give her the same benefit of doubt that I'd give to a woman who walked out of her marriage. She must have tried it all.
That woman must have tried to speak with her husband, who did not listen.
She must have tried to speak with his family, who did not listen.
She must have tried to speak with her own family, who did not listen.
She must have even tried to speak with her pastor, who yet again did not listen.
Eventually she comes on social media. And she finds people who are willing to listen. The families and pastors who turned a deaf ear to all her laments suddenly become attentive too.
A man has a lot of ears to speak into. He does not need social media to be heard. It is safe to say that a man who resorts to social media to air his grievances is not doing so out of distress. He is doing so out of manipulation.
Gbenro wrote it himself. He has the support of his family. For what did he need social media?
"Party", "stranger", two terms that nobody in Nigeria wants to read in the same sentence as wife or mother.
He knew what he was doing. But I will not be a fool and join his charade. Because I know better.
Social media is the biggest blessing to have happened to the most vulnerable members of our society.
Thanks to social media, female empowerment has become a daily topic, in every part of the world. Even the most conservative countries are having this discussion.
Social media has also brought forth the issue of child labour, sex trafficking, and organ harvesting. All crimes that involve children.
Social media has helped people with disabilities in certain parts of Nigeria. Now a child no longer has to crawl to his classroom, and men and women on wheelchairs can climb ramps and run errands at various business buildings.
The poor who cannot pay for their medical bills are getting funds through social media.
These are the kinds of people who deserve the benefit of doubt when they run to social media to call for help; not the ones who already have a voice of their own.
I agree that there are double standards. I agree that men can be victims of double standards. However, in this particular case, there is no double standard.
There is just this man who was not satisfied until everybody had heard him.
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