Woman.
Someone's daughter.
Someone's sister.
Someone's wife.
Someone's mother.
Never just a someone.
People like to relate women to a person in her life. It's fundamental for these people to be able to identify women as people.
Have you come across sentences like: "Imagine if she was your sister." "That is someone's mother." "That is someone's wife." "I am for women's rights because I have daughters and sisters."
It is never: "She is a person too". They just can't. There must be someone to validate her existence, otherwise it doesn't sound "normal" for her to be treated as a person.
So what happens when a woman is not someone's daughter (orphan), sister (only child), wife (not married, divorced or widowed) or mother (childless)?
How do you validate a woman who has no intimate attachment to anybody and most importantly, what do you do with her?
The answer is simple: a lot of people can't see the validity of an unattached woman because they don't see any use for her. She is useless and useless people are perceived as dangers to the well being and order of the society.
The same way we weed out superfluous plants from our farms and gardens, single unattached women must be annulled. They either find someone to give their life a meaning or they reduce themselves to nothing.
What does it mean to be an orphan a woman?
It means that you have no parental control. Men need guidance, women need control. A woman who is under parental control is more likely to accept being under a man's control someday: an obedient daughter makes an obedient and submissive wife.
What does it mean to be an only child as a woman?
It means that you have nobody to care for. Women need to be nurturing, men need to provide. A woman who has siblings is more likely to be more tolerant and patient with her future family. A nurturing woman makes a family oriented woman.
What does it mean to be a Mrs Nobody?
It means you have no identity. A woman of marriageable age is too grown to be under her parent's care. Being a daughter is seen as phase in certain cultures. When a woman gets married, she loses her identity as a daughter and takes on her new identity as a wife. Men do not lose their identity. They simply continue their father's legacy. Women, on the contrary, do not have this continuity. Thereby, a woman of marriageable age who is not married, is by definition a nobody. Only widows are excused and not always.
What does it mean to be childless as a woman?
It means that you have not fulfilled your purpose as someone of the female gender. As a woman, your most cherished ability is the ability to bear children, and as many children as possible, preferably male children. When a woman does not fulfil this purpose, she is hardly considered a woman. Being barren is the same as being totally useless. There is no use for barren women in patriarchal societies. Only women whose kids have died are excused, and just like widows, not always.
What happens to women who make the choice to cut off parental control, refuse to marry or have children?
These women are feared. For a woman to decide that she won't dance to the tune of the society, and that, instead, she wants to go for what society has decided is meant for men only, she is bold and bold women are dangerous. They are dangerous because their rebellion will definitely disrupt the normal flow of a society.
In countries where birth rates are extremely low, the women are also more emancipated. Because left to men, women would get pregnant every year since the burden of caring for children practically falls on the woman. The women in these countries have understood this unjust setting, so they have taken family planning into their hands. In those countries, women decide how many children they want and when they want to have them. You can't scare that kind of woman with threats of a divorce or getting married to another woman. She hardly budges.
There is also a reason why these countries are among the richest in the world. These women do not dedicate their entire lives to child rearing, but only the minimum indispensable. Most of them have careers or activities that take them outside the home, which means that they contribute actively and almost in equal measure as men to the society. Even though housewives contribute a lot to the society too since they bring up some of the future members, they are still regarded as passive citizens and that is because, most of time, they do not generate any taxable income.
Every year, thousands of Nigerians migrate to these countries because their living standards are extremely higher than the one in Nigeria. However, the average Nigerian (man) would never want Nigeria to become like these countries, society wise.
They want Nigeria to grow into an economical power, but they do not want women to be active participants in this growth. That is why they do all sorts to keep women stuck in the reproductive chain, which starts as soon as the female child is born. Her parents, especially her mother, have the responsibility of grooming her into a good child bearer and wife.
Women who don't fit into this plan or refuse to fit into this plan are useless. Nobody likes useless things.
And that, people, is why our society hates single women.
One last question: is it more important to be a wife or to be a mother?
A woman has to be both. Unless her husband or kids are dead, a woman has no reason to be unmarried and childless.
What if she can't have children?
Irrelevant. Get married and steal a baby.
What if the man can't have children?
Divorced women are seen as failures in our society. So stay married to that man and steal a baby.
Someone's daughter.
Someone's sister.
Someone's wife.
Someone's mother.
Never just a someone.
People like to relate women to a person in her life. It's fundamental for these people to be able to identify women as people.
Have you come across sentences like: "Imagine if she was your sister." "That is someone's mother." "That is someone's wife." "I am for women's rights because I have daughters and sisters."
It is never: "She is a person too". They just can't. There must be someone to validate her existence, otherwise it doesn't sound "normal" for her to be treated as a person.
So what happens when a woman is not someone's daughter (orphan), sister (only child), wife (not married, divorced or widowed) or mother (childless)?
How do you validate a woman who has no intimate attachment to anybody and most importantly, what do you do with her?
The answer is simple: a lot of people can't see the validity of an unattached woman because they don't see any use for her. She is useless and useless people are perceived as dangers to the well being and order of the society.
The same way we weed out superfluous plants from our farms and gardens, single unattached women must be annulled. They either find someone to give their life a meaning or they reduce themselves to nothing.
What does it mean to be an orphan a woman?
It means that you have no parental control. Men need guidance, women need control. A woman who is under parental control is more likely to accept being under a man's control someday: an obedient daughter makes an obedient and submissive wife.
What does it mean to be an only child as a woman?
It means that you have nobody to care for. Women need to be nurturing, men need to provide. A woman who has siblings is more likely to be more tolerant and patient with her future family. A nurturing woman makes a family oriented woman.
What does it mean to be a Mrs Nobody?
It means you have no identity. A woman of marriageable age is too grown to be under her parent's care. Being a daughter is seen as phase in certain cultures. When a woman gets married, she loses her identity as a daughter and takes on her new identity as a wife. Men do not lose their identity. They simply continue their father's legacy. Women, on the contrary, do not have this continuity. Thereby, a woman of marriageable age who is not married, is by definition a nobody. Only widows are excused and not always.
What does it mean to be childless as a woman?
It means that you have not fulfilled your purpose as someone of the female gender. As a woman, your most cherished ability is the ability to bear children, and as many children as possible, preferably male children. When a woman does not fulfil this purpose, she is hardly considered a woman. Being barren is the same as being totally useless. There is no use for barren women in patriarchal societies. Only women whose kids have died are excused, and just like widows, not always.
What happens to women who make the choice to cut off parental control, refuse to marry or have children?
These women are feared. For a woman to decide that she won't dance to the tune of the society, and that, instead, she wants to go for what society has decided is meant for men only, she is bold and bold women are dangerous. They are dangerous because their rebellion will definitely disrupt the normal flow of a society.
In countries where birth rates are extremely low, the women are also more emancipated. Because left to men, women would get pregnant every year since the burden of caring for children practically falls on the woman. The women in these countries have understood this unjust setting, so they have taken family planning into their hands. In those countries, women decide how many children they want and when they want to have them. You can't scare that kind of woman with threats of a divorce or getting married to another woman. She hardly budges.
There is also a reason why these countries are among the richest in the world. These women do not dedicate their entire lives to child rearing, but only the minimum indispensable. Most of them have careers or activities that take them outside the home, which means that they contribute actively and almost in equal measure as men to the society. Even though housewives contribute a lot to the society too since they bring up some of the future members, they are still regarded as passive citizens and that is because, most of time, they do not generate any taxable income.
Every year, thousands of Nigerians migrate to these countries because their living standards are extremely higher than the one in Nigeria. However, the average Nigerian (man) would never want Nigeria to become like these countries, society wise.
They want Nigeria to grow into an economical power, but they do not want women to be active participants in this growth. That is why they do all sorts to keep women stuck in the reproductive chain, which starts as soon as the female child is born. Her parents, especially her mother, have the responsibility of grooming her into a good child bearer and wife.
Women who don't fit into this plan or refuse to fit into this plan are useless. Nobody likes useless things.
And that, people, is why our society hates single women.
One last question: is it more important to be a wife or to be a mother?
A woman has to be both. Unless her husband or kids are dead, a woman has no reason to be unmarried and childless.
What if she can't have children?
Irrelevant. Get married and steal a baby.
What if the man can't have children?
Divorced women are seen as failures in our society. So stay married to that man and steal a baby.
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