My kindness has always been misunderstood for romantic interest by men.
Back in 2009, some ex thought because I used to joke around with him, listen to his relationship problems and offer advice, that I was in love with him. It's even sillier than people believed him. Ridiculous.
In that same 2009, some other guy who had told me he was interested in me and whom I had explicitly told I wasn't interested in, somehow mistook my niceness for a future possibility. I made it clear that we were just friends but he would tell people that we were getting to know each other. Again, ridiculous.
In 2014, I moved into my second apartment. There lived a Jamaican British guy who, because I was nice to him, offered him some food when I cooked and brought him chicken from work, one day, mistakenly left his dick hanging out of his boxers thinking I was going to jump on it. Even more ridiculous.
You know what? I used to get angry back then but, now, I just feel sad for these men and for any person out there who thinks that people of the opposite sex are only nice to them just because the former wants to sleep with them.
Besides the presumption of these silly lots, there is also an underlying issue of distrust in humanity. When I come across people of this kind, all I can think of is that they have never been genuinely loved or liked in their entire life.
Perhaps their entire existence has been marked by people taking advantage of them or by their taking advantage of other people. But one thing I know is that these people are broken and most times, are not genuine even in their own intentions.
People who think you have ulterior motives for being nice to them, also expect something in return for their own acts of kindness. Yes, they are entitled. It is the classic case of projecting our flaw on other people because we tend to see people through the perception we have of ourselves.
A liar will think everybody else is a liar.
A thief will think everybody else is a thief.
A cheat will think everybody else is a cheat.
An entitled person will think everybody else is entitled.
I am sure you all know about Mr Nice Guy: that guy who thinks he is entitled to sex because he is nice to girl. Well, should a girl act nice towards that kind of guy, he would still think it's because the girl wants sex from him.
I hardly nurture feelings of distrust or bias against other people because the opinion I have of myself is that of a trustworthy and objective person.
However, experiences are here to teach us, and today, I have learned to be more careful about how nice I act towards people. I'm not just talking about the lack of gratitude I have experienced: why should they be grateful when they think you are going to demand for a settlement in future? I am also talking about how they try to corrupt other people's perception of you. They don't trust you, so other people shouldn't trust you too.
They are indeed a sad bunch who, unfortunately, end up depriving themselves of the very selfless love that could help them become less sad.
Back in 2009, some ex thought because I used to joke around with him, listen to his relationship problems and offer advice, that I was in love with him. It's even sillier than people believed him. Ridiculous.
In that same 2009, some other guy who had told me he was interested in me and whom I had explicitly told I wasn't interested in, somehow mistook my niceness for a future possibility. I made it clear that we were just friends but he would tell people that we were getting to know each other. Again, ridiculous.
In 2014, I moved into my second apartment. There lived a Jamaican British guy who, because I was nice to him, offered him some food when I cooked and brought him chicken from work, one day, mistakenly left his dick hanging out of his boxers thinking I was going to jump on it. Even more ridiculous.
You know what? I used to get angry back then but, now, I just feel sad for these men and for any person out there who thinks that people of the opposite sex are only nice to them just because the former wants to sleep with them.
Besides the presumption of these silly lots, there is also an underlying issue of distrust in humanity. When I come across people of this kind, all I can think of is that they have never been genuinely loved or liked in their entire life.
Perhaps their entire existence has been marked by people taking advantage of them or by their taking advantage of other people. But one thing I know is that these people are broken and most times, are not genuine even in their own intentions.
People who think you have ulterior motives for being nice to them, also expect something in return for their own acts of kindness. Yes, they are entitled. It is the classic case of projecting our flaw on other people because we tend to see people through the perception we have of ourselves.
A liar will think everybody else is a liar.
A thief will think everybody else is a thief.
A cheat will think everybody else is a cheat.
An entitled person will think everybody else is entitled.
I am sure you all know about Mr Nice Guy: that guy who thinks he is entitled to sex because he is nice to girl. Well, should a girl act nice towards that kind of guy, he would still think it's because the girl wants sex from him.
I hardly nurture feelings of distrust or bias against other people because the opinion I have of myself is that of a trustworthy and objective person.
However, experiences are here to teach us, and today, I have learned to be more careful about how nice I act towards people. I'm not just talking about the lack of gratitude I have experienced: why should they be grateful when they think you are going to demand for a settlement in future? I am also talking about how they try to corrupt other people's perception of you. They don't trust you, so other people shouldn't trust you too.
They are indeed a sad bunch who, unfortunately, end up depriving themselves of the very selfless love that could help them become less sad.
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