God: David.
David: *snoring*
God: David. I'm Jaweh and I command you to wake up.
David: You again? Wetin you want?
God: How dare you? Don't you know that I am...
David: Homosapient, Homopresent and homopotent. Yes, I know.
God: *invisibly upset* I came to remind you of your battle against Goliath. How are you preparing yourself?
David: Man, I nor wan go war. I nor even know this Gorilla guy.
God: Goliath.
David: Go-liar. I nor know am and I nor wan fight am.
God: It's too late and you might not want to anger me. Remember that I have the habit of killing millions and millions of people just to get one person to do what I want.
David: So, why you nor kill Godzilla yourself?
God: Because sometimes I like to see humans kill other humans. *clear mighty voice* Anyway I came to show you some interesting weapons that you could use to defeat the enemy and make me orgasm in paradise.
*David scoffs in surrender*
God: So, you can choose among a pulverizer model 2000 and late, a catapult and some stones and the icing on a Nigerian cake.
David: I'm 2000 years too early for a pulverizer and using that icing would be an overkill even for a giant ape. The shit is rock hard. I'll take the catapult.
God: Good. Remember: aim between his eyes.
David: Now, let me go back to bed. I be dey Muslim paradise before you come wake me.
God: Kill Goliath and you won't have to die before you get your own personal harem.
*David smiles mischievously*
And the rest was history.
The End.
David: *snoring*
God: David. I'm Jaweh and I command you to wake up.
David: You again? Wetin you want?
God: How dare you? Don't you know that I am...
David: Homosapient, Homopresent and homopotent. Yes, I know.
God: *invisibly upset* I came to remind you of your battle against Goliath. How are you preparing yourself?
David: Man, I nor wan go war. I nor even know this Gorilla guy.
God: Goliath.
David: Go-liar. I nor know am and I nor wan fight am.
God: It's too late and you might not want to anger me. Remember that I have the habit of killing millions and millions of people just to get one person to do what I want.
David: So, why you nor kill Godzilla yourself?
God: Because sometimes I like to see humans kill other humans. *clear mighty voice* Anyway I came to show you some interesting weapons that you could use to defeat the enemy and make me orgasm in paradise.
*David scoffs in surrender*
God: So, you can choose among a pulverizer model 2000 and late, a catapult and some stones and the icing on a Nigerian cake.
David: I'm 2000 years too early for a pulverizer and using that icing would be an overkill even for a giant ape. The shit is rock hard. I'll take the catapult.
God: Good. Remember: aim between his eyes.
David: Now, let me go back to bed. I be dey Muslim paradise before you come wake me.
God: Kill Goliath and you won't have to die before you get your own personal harem.
*David smiles mischievously*
And the rest was history.
The End.
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