People rarely do nothing for nothing, so it doesn't come as a surprise to me when men and women expect their love interest to "off pant" the moment they have spent some of their hard earned money, or not, on him or her.
There is a general notion that everybody has a price and that once you have accepted the pay, you have to deliver the goods.
As a child, I learned pretty quick that money is a powerful instrument of control and that who has the money often dictates the tune.
As a teenager I used to get weekly pocket money from my parents. With that money I bought my magazines and mangas. But whenever my parents were upset or annoyed with me, that money would stop. It came to a point when I stopped getting anything altogether. It was really frustrating not being able to afford the little things I wanted. This experience taught me the importance of being financially independent and most importantly, of not allowing anybody to control me with money.
I do not accept presents from every man who shows interest in me. I do not want to create expectations when there is nothing in for him. The only time I accept a present from a man is when I know I will reciprocate in future because I am also interested in him.
Back then in Italy, a lady said I was stupid for not taking advantage of a chyker who was more than willing to spend on me. I personally thought that the lady was the stupid one if at her age, she still hadn't understood how the logic of those men work.
If a Nigerian man offers you money and you accept, you have automatically entered a contract with him. The only way to exit this contract is either by offering him money of equal value or by sleeping with him. When he doesn't get any of this, he becomes livid. Trust me, there is nothing worse than a livid man. He can be horrible, and this is not the kind of trouble you want for yourself.
Back in 2009, I had a chyker. I didn't like him and I was very frank with him. He is Nigerian and had grown up in Nigeria. On a particular day, he accompanied me to buy a present for a friend who was celebrating her birthday. At the store he urged me to pick something for myself too and told me that he would pay. I refused. I didn't want anything from him because I didn't want him to believe that I had something to give back to him. Subsequently he went on and bought me a necklace. At that point I thought I was clear about the fact that I didn't like him and that he had understood that there was nothing to gain from that gesture, so I accepted the necklace. BIG MISTAKE.
Upon all my continuous rejection, he still wanted something in return and the only thing he wanted was a relationship with me or at least sex. He didn't get any, and of course, he became livid. When we stopped being friends, I wanted to return the necklace back to him or give it away, but a friend told me I shouldn't do it. ANOTHER MISTAKE. I should have returned the damn necklace.
There is nothing worse than hearing a man say : "After everything I did for you...". In this case he didn't say it because he had not done much (I didn't give him the chance) but his actions suggested that he suffered a loss and wanted me to pay for it.
This experience taught me another valuable lesson: never keep a chyker as a friend. If a man asks you out and you are not interested, let him know and keep your distance from him. Accepting presents from him or being friendly with him will only fuel his expectations towards you.
So when that woman called me stupid for not "using" a chyker, I knew exactly where I was coming from. I didn't want my name to be involved in that kind of mess again.
Also, when a man uses his money as a bait, he is often lacking in personality and when he can't get to you with his money, then he is forced to get to you with his personality, if he has any.
Money shields a lot of bad character. Do not let it fool you.
Make your own money, so that it will no longer be a top factor in your choice of a partner.
When you don't focus on how much a man has and how much he is willing to spend, your standards automatically grow higher.
"Make money, don't let money make you" (The Playa's Club).
There is a general notion that everybody has a price and that once you have accepted the pay, you have to deliver the goods.
As a child, I learned pretty quick that money is a powerful instrument of control and that who has the money often dictates the tune.
As a teenager I used to get weekly pocket money from my parents. With that money I bought my magazines and mangas. But whenever my parents were upset or annoyed with me, that money would stop. It came to a point when I stopped getting anything altogether. It was really frustrating not being able to afford the little things I wanted. This experience taught me the importance of being financially independent and most importantly, of not allowing anybody to control me with money.
I do not accept presents from every man who shows interest in me. I do not want to create expectations when there is nothing in for him. The only time I accept a present from a man is when I know I will reciprocate in future because I am also interested in him.
Back then in Italy, a lady said I was stupid for not taking advantage of a chyker who was more than willing to spend on me. I personally thought that the lady was the stupid one if at her age, she still hadn't understood how the logic of those men work.
If a Nigerian man offers you money and you accept, you have automatically entered a contract with him. The only way to exit this contract is either by offering him money of equal value or by sleeping with him. When he doesn't get any of this, he becomes livid. Trust me, there is nothing worse than a livid man. He can be horrible, and this is not the kind of trouble you want for yourself.
Back in 2009, I had a chyker. I didn't like him and I was very frank with him. He is Nigerian and had grown up in Nigeria. On a particular day, he accompanied me to buy a present for a friend who was celebrating her birthday. At the store he urged me to pick something for myself too and told me that he would pay. I refused. I didn't want anything from him because I didn't want him to believe that I had something to give back to him. Subsequently he went on and bought me a necklace. At that point I thought I was clear about the fact that I didn't like him and that he had understood that there was nothing to gain from that gesture, so I accepted the necklace. BIG MISTAKE.
Upon all my continuous rejection, he still wanted something in return and the only thing he wanted was a relationship with me or at least sex. He didn't get any, and of course, he became livid. When we stopped being friends, I wanted to return the necklace back to him or give it away, but a friend told me I shouldn't do it. ANOTHER MISTAKE. I should have returned the damn necklace.
There is nothing worse than hearing a man say : "After everything I did for you...". In this case he didn't say it because he had not done much (I didn't give him the chance) but his actions suggested that he suffered a loss and wanted me to pay for it.
This experience taught me another valuable lesson: never keep a chyker as a friend. If a man asks you out and you are not interested, let him know and keep your distance from him. Accepting presents from him or being friendly with him will only fuel his expectations towards you.
So when that woman called me stupid for not "using" a chyker, I knew exactly where I was coming from. I didn't want my name to be involved in that kind of mess again.
Also, when a man uses his money as a bait, he is often lacking in personality and when he can't get to you with his money, then he is forced to get to you with his personality, if he has any.
Money shields a lot of bad character. Do not let it fool you.
Make your own money, so that it will no longer be a top factor in your choice of a partner.
When you don't focus on how much a man has and how much he is willing to spend, your standards automatically grow higher.
"Make money, don't let money make you" (The Playa's Club).
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