I have come across women who oppose feminism under the excuse that the feminism being practised on Facebook is different from the feminism that should be practised in life.
I have also come across the ones who claim that the feminism practised in Nigeria has nothing to do with the original feminism started in the 19th century in America and in England.
But the award for the most ridiculous excuse goes to those women who claim that Nigeria is fair to both genders and that feminism should focus on rural areas.
Feminism is unpopular. It is unpopular because it is trying to change the patriarchal status quo in Nigeria. Being a feminist is almost the same as being a terrorist. I believe that if an average Nigerian man is asked to choose between a feminist and a Fulani Herdsman, he will most likely choose a Fulani Herdsman: that is how much they hate anything or anybody that wears the feminist tag.
However, Nigerian men do have a reason for not liking feminism and feminists. Their privileges are at risk. They are not considered anything special. Their flaws are highlighted and criticised. They are called to be responsible for their actions. They are held to a standard. They are under the microscope because patriarchy is under the microscope. They hate it and I can't fault them to an extent.
But what reason have women got to dislike the very movement that seeks to liberate them?
Are they content with being just patriarchal princesses with all the onus that come with it?
Are they too scared of the consequences of choosing an unpopular lifestyle?
Or do they have personal reasons for not wanting to associate themselves with feminism?
The first two reasons are very common, but, surprisingly, so is the third one.
I know women who do not want to be feminists or who do not want to be associated with feminism, despite being for gender equality, because they have something against some feminists.
I will be the first one to say this: feminist women are not likeable. If you want to judge a feminist by the Nigerian standard of likeability, you won't like many or even all of them. By Nigerian standards, they are over the top, sarcastic, rebellious and assholes. They are not docile and humility, to them, is a brand of toilet paper. If you judge these women according to your perception of how a woman should be because you have been told that is how a woman should be, you will never like a feminist.
But then, why should your dislike for a certain type of woman stop you from being objective about an ideology?
Last week, I witnessed something during the sexual harassment saga. A woman was defending something undefendable because the people laying the accusation were the women she has labelled "Facebook feminists".
And that same personal dislike for feminists will push a woman to say: "There is no inequality in Nigeria. The country is fair to both gender."
You can dislike feminists all you want. You can decide that you do not want to be called a feminist. But do not embarrass yourself by insulting our collective intelligence.
We know, feminists are notorious. If you say you are not a feminist, you have already earned some points in the eye of the average Nigerian. The men, especially will praise you and tag you a virtuous woman. By the virtue of not being a feminist or identifying with feministic ideas, you will be considered a wife material. After all that is highest tag given to women in our society.
But, personally, I think there is more to life than getting accolades from Nigerian men. As a matter of fact, their accolades shouldn't mean shit to you because they come from a place of condescension.
The best compliment you will get from an average Nigerian man is "wise". "Wise" is not a flattering adjective for a woman in our society. "Wise" is "foolish" coated with sugar.
Do you like being "sugarcoatedly" called foolish? So, my sister, I am asking you again: wetin be your problem with feminism?
I have also come across the ones who claim that the feminism practised in Nigeria has nothing to do with the original feminism started in the 19th century in America and in England.
But the award for the most ridiculous excuse goes to those women who claim that Nigeria is fair to both genders and that feminism should focus on rural areas.
Feminism is unpopular. It is unpopular because it is trying to change the patriarchal status quo in Nigeria. Being a feminist is almost the same as being a terrorist. I believe that if an average Nigerian man is asked to choose between a feminist and a Fulani Herdsman, he will most likely choose a Fulani Herdsman: that is how much they hate anything or anybody that wears the feminist tag.
However, Nigerian men do have a reason for not liking feminism and feminists. Their privileges are at risk. They are not considered anything special. Their flaws are highlighted and criticised. They are called to be responsible for their actions. They are held to a standard. They are under the microscope because patriarchy is under the microscope. They hate it and I can't fault them to an extent.
But what reason have women got to dislike the very movement that seeks to liberate them?
Are they content with being just patriarchal princesses with all the onus that come with it?
Are they too scared of the consequences of choosing an unpopular lifestyle?
Or do they have personal reasons for not wanting to associate themselves with feminism?
The first two reasons are very common, but, surprisingly, so is the third one.
I know women who do not want to be feminists or who do not want to be associated with feminism, despite being for gender equality, because they have something against some feminists.
I will be the first one to say this: feminist women are not likeable. If you want to judge a feminist by the Nigerian standard of likeability, you won't like many or even all of them. By Nigerian standards, they are over the top, sarcastic, rebellious and assholes. They are not docile and humility, to them, is a brand of toilet paper. If you judge these women according to your perception of how a woman should be because you have been told that is how a woman should be, you will never like a feminist.
But then, why should your dislike for a certain type of woman stop you from being objective about an ideology?
Last week, I witnessed something during the sexual harassment saga. A woman was defending something undefendable because the people laying the accusation were the women she has labelled "Facebook feminists".
And that same personal dislike for feminists will push a woman to say: "There is no inequality in Nigeria. The country is fair to both gender."
You can dislike feminists all you want. You can decide that you do not want to be called a feminist. But do not embarrass yourself by insulting our collective intelligence.
We know, feminists are notorious. If you say you are not a feminist, you have already earned some points in the eye of the average Nigerian. The men, especially will praise you and tag you a virtuous woman. By the virtue of not being a feminist or identifying with feministic ideas, you will be considered a wife material. After all that is highest tag given to women in our society.
But, personally, I think there is more to life than getting accolades from Nigerian men. As a matter of fact, their accolades shouldn't mean shit to you because they come from a place of condescension.
The best compliment you will get from an average Nigerian man is "wise". "Wise" is not a flattering adjective for a woman in our society. "Wise" is "foolish" coated with sugar.
Do you like being "sugarcoatedly" called foolish? So, my sister, I am asking you again: wetin be your problem with feminism?
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