1. The patriarchy
The patriarchy requires the bearest minimum for a man to be considered better than a woman: be a man. He can be a baby, poor, uneducated, un refined and a scum. It doesn't matter. He will always have his respect as long as he has his penis dangling between his legs. It's not the same for a woman. Marriage alone makes a woman respectable. Her age, class, education or career doesn't do it. Even though the social contract says that men should provide and women should nurture, the men are not required to observe their own part of the deal. Women alone are expected to observe theirs. No matter what the man does or doesn't do, she must not forfeit her responsibilities. And if he does hold his own side of the bargain, he becomes a god. A good man. A catch. Women don't get rewards for all the work that they do, but they get plenty of punishment if they don't. In spite of this, they will still settle for such little because the patriarchy has promoted the idea that being with a mediocre man is better than being with none.
2. Feminism
When a man wears the feminist tag, he immediately attracts the attention of women: feminists and non-feminists alike. The feminists feel a sense of victory. "We succeeded in converting one". And the non feminists are fascinated by this individual that has such ways with words. He doesn't speak of what women should or shouldn't do to secure a man and a home for a change, instead he's lecturing men on how to be better, to rise above mediocrity. In the eyes of a non feminist woman or of a feminist who has yet to rid herself of that "half loaf is better than none" mindset, he will appear as an exceptional being. However just a few of them are genuine. The majority of them are false. And if you look closely enough, you will see the cracks on the wall.
A. Selective feminism: he likes everything that rids him of the patriarchal weight of toxic masculinity, like being strong, manly and the provider. Now the choice of being in a relationship or being married no longer has to be accompanied with the responsibility of providing for everybody. Also, he's relieved from shame if he fails. He's a feminist man and feminism says that a woman can provide too, and men don't have to lie that they are the ones that do. There is no shame in being a bummer who lives off a woman, after all women have been living off men for centuries. Let me state that feminism does not prohibit women from living off men, but it strongly discourages it. Just like it discourages men from living off women. Adults should be self sufficient. But of course they don't care. They are not women. If a woman tries to oppress him with money, all he has to do is unleash his male privilege to reset the balance.
B. Mansplaining: telling feminists women how to fight for the cause since women are too emotional to use a logical approach. "Don't attack men." "Don't turn feminism into misandry." "Feminism is not a fight against men. It's a fight against the patriarchy." Tell me: how do you besiege a castle without harming those that guard it? And how do you convince me that you are indeed an ally when you insist on defending a guard that has just plunged a sword into my chest?
C. Closet misogyny: any choice by a woman is valid, especially the ones that reinforce patriarchal narratives. They readily support preachings about submission, indecent dressing and visiting male humans under the excuse that "it's her choice" and "the system is bad, so we encourage women to avoid creating situations that might lead to rape." And they end it all with "I'm a feminist".
D. Saviour Complex: they think that they are being magnanimous by joining the fight for gender equality. "Men are physically stronger and faster than women, but we accept to treat you as equal and we allow you to seek for equality."
E. Family man: he's a feminist because he has a wife and daughter. And his wife is more of a feminist than any feminist he knows.
F. Nostalgic: the third wave feminism is just man hating. We need to return to the first wave feminism because those women knew that being a feminist didn't mean deviating from our naturally assigned roles.
G. They are not feminists. They are pro gender equality. Feminism sounds too partisan, and he wants to make sure that men don't lose out. Because men suffer under the patriarchy too. So let's get rid of the word feminism and replace it with gender equality.
(I am not making these up. I have seen all of them in the 15 years that I have been advocating online).
3. Crossdressing/Transwomen:
When men decide to embrace femininity in part or in full, many of them will embrace the glamour but not the struggles. The clothes, make up and beauty. Having a vagina comes with privileges. Men are willing to give you money just to sleep with you. How lovely. Then when women complain that they'd rather not trade their pussy for money and that being a woman is tough, they are asked, "Are you saying that a man has to be well behaved before he can identify as a woman?" Except that this is not bad behaviour. This is men taking on the mantles of women and making it even harder for women to be seen as worthy of respect. They call it transphobia: the fear and disdain for transpeople. Now transphobia is a reality. It is systematic. But this particular scenario is not transphobia. This particular scenario, as it happens when men chant misandry, is transwomen (ex men) guiltripping women into swallowing mediocrity yet again. "Allow us to be mediocre. We have been through a lot already". Well guess what? Women have been through a lot too and we will not watch you as you shit on our cause. So, show some respect.
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Yesterday these undercover patriarchists should have been dragged by their balls for attempting to infiltrate and pollute our noble cause with their selfish agenda. They stink so bad that even crap that has not been coated with gold is still a much better choice. They only look better, but they are far far worse. Instead the messenger was slain and they all got to rejoice.
I agree that crap is crap. And I sure won't waste any of my time to make anybody less of a crap.
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