I read a post where a feminist wrote that she'd choose a patriarchal man over a man pretending to be a feminist, and I loved it. I didn't know who the writer was when I started reading it and finding out who it is did not change my opinion. I agree with most of the points raised in the post.
Many men who claim to be feminists are not interested in the wellbeing of women. They just want to benefit from having a woman who doesn't mind taking on responsibilities that are typically assigned to men. They are also the ones who are obsessed with mansplaining and wanting to retain their male privilege in a movement that clearly states that there are no privileges attached to your sex.
The issue of dating a patriarchal man over a feminist man seems like a contradiction. Well because it is. Oil and water don't mix. But then, the default setting of a man who was raised in a patriarchal society is to be patriarchal. Any man who currently identifies as a feminist was a staunch supporter of the patriarchy at some point.
I see relationships as an investment: time, emotions, resources and intellect. It's more profitable to date a patriarchal man and attempt a re-education than to date a fraud who claims to be a feminist.
A fraud is not interested in knowing the real deal. He doesn't care. A patriarchal man might be simply ignorant, acting on what he knows best.
Dating in Nigeria or in general is a gamble. I'd say, pick a man who is intelligent over a man who's clever.
A man who's intelligent understands mutual benefit. A man who's clever understands self preservation.
It's up to you to decide how much of yourself you are willing to invest.
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