CIS LESBIANS ARE NOT TRANSPHOBIC FOR NOT WANTING TO DATE TRANSGENDER WOMEN

This morning, I read an article on a Facebook friend Moji's wall about lesbians who are being pressured into dating transwomen. Transwomen are biological men who identify as women and who may have or have not undergone sex reassignment surgery.

The lesbians that were interviewed in the article stated that, when it comes to sexual attraction, the concept of sex is not an idea, but a reality. So when they say that they are attracted to women, they mean women who are physically and biologically female. To them, being a woman goes beyond looking like a woman or owning a vagina. It's the totality of the person that makes up her sex.

For this reason, they are not attracted to and do not care for transwomen who have not undergone surgery. The same way they wouldn't date a transman just because he has a vagina.

The problem now is that some transwomen feel discriminated against and are accusing lesbians who won't date or have sex with them of transphobia or having a fetish for vaginas.

Are they right?

As a straight woman who is attracted to men, I see where these lesbians are coming from. To me, being a man is more than having a penis or looking masculine.

I couldn't date a transman with a vagina, just like I couldn't date a transwoman with a penis.

Even though my mind has evolved to recognise trans people as the sex they choose to identify with, my sexuality has not.

As a straight woman, I want to have sex with men who are physically and biologically male. And I wouldn't react well to being labelled a terf or transphobic.

Our sexuality is very personal and should not be regulated by public opinion. I firmly believe that involving political correctness into sexual and emotional relationships is a gross violation of our freedom of expression.

As sad as it is that transwomen are not getting the kind of response that they want from some lesbians, they must understand that the rejection by the latter is not based on any hatred on their part. Rather it's just a matter of sexual attraction. Hatred and attraction are not always mutually inclusive.

Let's remember that during the time of slavery white masters/people engaged in sexual relations with black slaves even though the former hated and considered the latter to be inferior. The same phenomenon continued during racial segregation and has continued today amidst palpable racist sentiments.

Even men who hate women have been known to approach women for sexual relationships. And they don't stop there. They marry these women and bear children with them.

So, similarly, a person can hate you for your gender identity and still engage in sexual acts with you. Just like a person can support you in your struggle to affirm your gender identity and feel no attraction towards you. And while it is OK to call the first person transphobic, I don't think it's appropriate to call the second person same.

Even accusing the person of having a genital fetish seems overstretched.

I mean, there are white, Asian, Latino who won't date black women. And there are black women who won't date these men either.

Is that enough for one group to call the other racist?

Let's learn to keep politics out of people's bedrooms.