The friendship lasted that long because all her friends, including me, had come to accept her as that weak person who couldn't make decisions for herself. So whenever she failed to turn up at appointments, missed out on important dates, let us down, or didn't stand up for us, we simply accepted her excuse. And it always came in the form of:
"My father said..."
"My mother said..."
"My boyfriend/husband said..."
I believe that among our friends, I was the one who bore the most brunt.
In 2012, she refused to bear witness for me after I was assaulted, I still carried on being friends with her.
A couple of months later, she did something else that would be a major deal breaker for me today and I still remained friends with her.
In 2013, I had to go and live with her and her family after I found myself stranded in a terrible apartment, and needed time to raise money to rent a better one.
"J, please I don't want my mother to know I am in your house."
*a few days later* "Mavis, my mum just told your mother that you are in our house. I couldn't do anything to stop her. I am sorry".
It took two more years and three more of her selfish and inconsiderate actions for me to finally close that chapter and never look back. Even though I still remained friends with her on Facebook in 2015, I unfollowed her and never bothered to check on her until I permanently blocked her in 2016.
When I called out her mother in 2018, she expressed hurt, or whatever it is that she was feeling. At that point I no longer cared. She even said that she regretted not standing up for me in 2012. Totally warmed up my fricking heart.
She had never done anything that I hadn't or wouldn't have done for her, but I did and was willing to do so much that she hadn't and wouldn't have done for me.
I do not miss her. And I actually feel relieved that we might never see each other again as far as this life goes. That wasn't a friendship. That was me caring for someone who, once in a while, bothered to chip in, her mother/father/boyfriend-husband permitting, of course.
I also do not regret calling out her mother.
People who readily wine and dine with their enemies simply because this time, someone else has become the target of their enemies denigration - someone who is supposedly their best friend's daughter - deserve to be dragged and shamed. She's lucky if I don't spit on her face, if I ever see her again.
You had a terrible mother/father is not an excuse to become an epitome of passiveness.
Passive people are even more useless than apaths.
-----------------------
So, again I ask, why are you still taking care of that person who never takes care of you?
No comments:
Post a Comment