Point of correction, that certain behaviours and settings have become the norm and have been accepted as established gender roles does not mean that they are in fact fair or productive.
Let's look at the issue of where a man significantly earns more than the woman.
I am personally against the idea of dating or marrying a person who earns way more than you do. I once turned down a man's advances when I found out where he lived. I wasn't in a good place financially and I did not want to bother myself with explanations about why we couldn't go to some places or do some things together, since my finances were much less than his and tied to an important project that would dilapidate my income even before the money settled in my account. To put it short, I didn't have enough money to sustain a relationship with that kind of earner.
Secondly, the power dynamics in that relationship would have been completely skewed in his favour. Women who date men that are way richer than them know that the only way to compensate is to become highly sexual. I don't mean that just as having sex all the time or bending to all his sexual demands. It also means that these women always have to remind the man that there are other men out there who would gladly replace them if they decide to start acting funny. Personally, I don't have time for that crap. I don't have time to put myself out there for the purpose of creating a list of back-ups in case my rich boyfriend decides to screw up. Relationships are draining, and after a while, even these women become tired from moving from one man to the other, especially when all the men end up doing the same thing that the previous one has done.
My kind of person wants to chill and relax when I'm dating. I don't have time for jealousy, competitions, or childish game. I wouldn't do well in a relationship where the man has the money and because of that demands that I look the other way when he behaves in ways that are disrespectful to me and detrimental to our relationship. I can't swallow crap because I need the man to pass me crumbs from time to time.
And this is why the whole narrative of "But men have been dating broke women yen yen yen" does not work. Speak to those women, and you are going to hear all kinds of stories. Very few of them, as in very few of them are not constantly reminded of the fact they do not bring shit into the relationship.
Just last week we discussed men who bring their Nigerian wives over to the West. We saw the level of entitlement those men have towards their wives and their money, for reuniting with them, and helping these women boost their academic qualification in order to get a good paying job. Now, tell me, is that your idea of "men have been doing it for women"? Because if a woman behaved like that, you wouldn't like it.
I know enough about the status quo to know that just because men and women have been doing something for a long time does not mean that it is yielding good results. We have just accepted it, while lying to ourselves that it does simply because it favours the privileged gender.
It favours men to lord over women, disrespect them, cheat on them, threaten to throw them out, demand total submission just because they earn more. But when a woman earns more, you do not expect her to do all of this. You still want her to treat her man with respect. The correct flipping of the script would be to allow women to treat men who earn less than them the same way men treat women who earn less than them. But God forbid that you do.
I know Nigerians are terrible at analogies, especially the ones who want to ridicule the feminist movement. These ones always seem to reason with their anus instead of their brain. But hey you are supposed to be the LOGICAL gender, right? So be logical.
If it works, you flip.
If it ain't working, you don't flip.
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