This morning it was reported that the divorce case between Dre and his now ex-wife has been finalised and that he has been ordered to pay over $3 million a year in alimony. Please note that alimony is another word for spousal support and is different from child support. Many people are not happy about it, especially men. In one person’s words,” Ms. Young will be paid a huge sum of money for doing absolutely nothing”.
But is it really like that? Let us analyse the situation from an objective point of view.
1. HOLDING DOWN THE FORT
Young and Dre got married in 1996 and they were married for almost 25 years. Also, they have two children together. Prior to their marriage, Dre had already had four other children by four different women. When a man or a woman gets married, he or she becomes a family person and starts bearing the responsibility of taking care of his or her family. This family can be made up of them and their spouse or it can also include children. Many times, however, the responsibility of looking after that family, in terms of providing emotional and mental stability falls solely on the woman, even when, just like the man, she works outside to bring home the bread. Ms. Young was a full-time housewife though. I believe the reason why many people think that Ms. Young does not deserve that much money, is because we do not ascribe any economic value to domestic work. When a woman stays at home to be a housewife, she is said to be jobless. And that is because she is not being compensated for washing, cleaning, cooking, looking after the children, doing school runs, etc. The woman does the job of six or more people and does it for free. Dre was already rich and established when he married Young, so they obviously had domestic staff who took care of all the chores and nannies who looked after the kids. However, Young was present in the home to manage this staff and to make sure that everything ran smoothly. If you think that Young does not deserve compensation for all the years that she managed their household because she was not doing any actual work, perhaps we should revisit the roles of everybody who works as a manager and whose job is to oversee what their subordinates do.
2. ACCUSTOMED LIFESTYLE
Before getting married to Dre, Young had been married to an NBA player for three years. So, she was already used to living a comfortable life. However, her lifestyle with Dre was way superior. I believe that when people think of those $3 million, they see them sitting pretty in Ms. Young’s account, ready to be spent in shopping and exotic vacations. But they could not be farther from the truth. For the past twenty-five years, Ms. Young has lived a life of luxury. She had people working for her and making sure that she was comfortable. It would be cruel to strip her of this comfort that she has known for these many years. I remember an episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta in which one of the characters mentioned that it costs him over $200 thousand a year to run their household; and I may also mention that this man who is an athlete was nowhere as rich as Dre. The richer a person is, the more money they spend on maintenance. When they were married, Dre took care of those bills, and now that they are divorced, Nicole will be in charge of paying anybody that she hires to work for her. If she also buys a house, she will have to pay the mortgage by herself. $3 million might seem a lot to you, but for someone like Young, it might just be enough to keep her comfortable. Remember that she used to be married to a man who makes $126 million in a year. Young’s alimony is 0.03% of Dre's annual income. We are looking at this divorce settlement from our point of view. While we should be looking at it from Dre’s point of view. That settlement won’t make a dent in the money that he racks in every year. As a matter of fact, Ms. Young is about to lose a huge part of the lifestyle that she was used to, now that she is no longer married to Dre.
3. MARRIAGE AMONG THE RICH IS RARELY ABOUT LOVE
Historically, only poor people married for love. The rich have always married for financial benefits. Classic examples are royal families, where it was the norm for two people who were related by blood to get married so that the family could maintain their control over a territory or over an inheritance. When people say, “marriage is not a poverty alleviation scheme”, they are not quite right. When people express the desire to marry a rich or wealthy person, they don’t do so because they believe that people with money are generally better human beings than people with no money. They want to marry someone with money because they want to live a comfortable life. And really, there is nothing wrong with that. When you marry a man or a woman who is financially weaker than you, you should consider the possibility that your money is part of the reasons they like you. It could also be that your money is the only reason why they even like you. Marriage as an institution is cynical. The more you learn about marriage, the more you understand that marriage can either be leveller or an upgrader. That’s why rich people started demanding a prenuptial agreement. They want to protect themselves against the marriage institution. This is also the reason why the rich prefer to marry the rich and the poor are left with no other option but to marry the poor. In both cases the issue of money is inconsequential. In the former case, both have money. In the latter case, none has money. If the issue of divorce arises, the former will be preoccupied with keeping what already belongs to them, while the latter won’t have anything to contend to begin with. So, when you marry a person who has way less money than you, you are expected to upgrade their lifestyle, otherwise, you can be sued for financial abuse.
Now that you know all of this, are you still of the opinion that Ms. Young does not deserve her $3 million per year alimony? Let me know what you think in the comment section.
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