Please, Nigerians who live in Nigeria, when you admire and idolise people who live abroad, always keep it in mind that these people are living in circumstances that are completely different from yours. You might both be Nigerian and share similar values, but trust me, your lives are not the same.
1. You are not subject to the same laws;
2. You don't enjoy the same rights;
3. You are not living in the same surroundings;
4. You don't have access to the same opportunities;
5. Nigerians abroad have better chances of accessing resources; and, for last
6. They are not immersed in the same cultures.
I am writing this because on several occasions I have seen Nigerian women gbamming to their idol who resides abroad when he or she expressed counterproductive opinions or made counterproductive suggestions.
You live in Nigeria. You can't afford to make those same choices. They will cost you dearly.
Abroad Privilege is real. Your idol might be blind to it, but you must not. Always shine your eyes and learn to take their advice with a pinch of salt.
1. An abroad resident who tells you to keep a pregnancy that you cannot afford is not speaking in your interest.
2. An abroad resident who tells you to put your career on hold to build your husband is not speaking in your interest.
3. An abroad resident who tells you to accommodate and take care of your ailing in-law is not speaking in your interest.
4. An abroad resident who tells you to give parental privileges to a deadbeat father is not speaking in your interest.
An abroad resident can afford to make these choices. He or she has a system that is there to safeguard and protect them if anything happens. You don't.
Na their currency in naira plenty, not their concern for you. Always make your decisions based on your own situation and circumstances.
Even I live abroad. I'm an only child. By my mother, my dad, and from what I know, even by my birth father. Even among immigrants, I'm still privileged. There are decisions that I can afford to make that you cannot. I try as much as possible to not ignore where I stand when I'm tackling social issues, but I too can allow my privilege get to me.
Please, admire people without failing to notice the substantial differences between you and them. The effect and consequences of your actions are rarely the same.
I hope someone listens.
Thank you.
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