It happened that on a particular day, I was at his with a friend of his. Two adults, in their mid 20s, both struggling financially and living day to day.
One would expect that given the monetary urgency that afflicted their daily lives, these two youngsters would be devoting their time to searching for solutions or ideas that would fetch them money. Instead they spent their time in the most idiotic way possible.
For the two hours, or thereabout that the visit lasted, these two men talked about everybody else but themselves.
- Who is sleeping with whom;
- Who is doing runs;
- Who is doing whatnot;
- E.t.c..
After his friend left, I told him: " You and your friend just spent two hours of your time gossiping. Two hours."
He looked at me in total embarrassment.
I'm not saying that I don't gossip. But to make talking shit of other people or their business the entire purpose of my visit to a friend's? That's the height of mediocrity and hopelessness.
When years ago, they were forcing me to be "friends" with an imbecile, I'd tell them: "This person and I have nothing in common. As in, nothing".
What is the criteria for making friends?
- Same age;
- Same sex;
- Same tribe;
- Same struggles;
- Same church;
- Same relationship status?
Nope, none of that does it for me.
If you are only bringing gossips and problems, then stay in your lane.
I need people who can offer solutions or at least make efforts.
I have wasted enough years of my life in friendships that should have ended years ago simply because I was looking at what they could have been instead of what they were.
I want to receive. I have expectations. If our friendship is not feeding me with meaningful things, then it's time to waka.
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