Monday, 6 January 2020

BRAGGERS ARE DEALING WITH TRAUMA

As sleep don abandon me, let me use this opportunity to drop some info.

👉🏽 That person that is always exaggerating their achievements is dealing with trauma.

I believe that most people can distinguish their fantasies from their realities, so even though they dream of living in a million dollar mansion, they recognise that they are still far away from achieving that and as such, are realistic about their lives and achievements.

Unfortunately, some people can't.

Some people often obsess over their fantasies to the point that they considerably inflate their reality as to make these two spheres match. And, since people generally do not bother asking intrusive questions unless they suspect a foul play, they just take words at face value. As a result, many people get away with bragging about a reality that is not theirs.

Let's take for example the son of a deceased rich man who cannot accept the social and financial decline that his family suffered after the death of his father. Even though it's been over twenty years, he is still convinced that he is the son of a rich man, and wants to enjoy the perks of belonging to the upper class.

"I only wear designer clothes. Gucci is my favourite brand."

"My family has three houses, two in Nigeria and one abroad. My father left one, while my grandmother left the other one. The one abroad was bought by my mother."

But should you ask questions, you'd find out that he is a minimum wage worker who lives way above his means and that his family assets are not that valuable.

Questions that would send him on a rage:

Why does he priotise finances over his well being in his relationships?

His father died more than twenty years ago. What is a house that was built that long ago worth today?

His mother married his late father at the age of seventeen. What well to do family allows their underage daughter to get married?

Why did his mother buy a flat in a low income neighbourhood?

People have different ways of dealing with trauma. And the death of a parent, coupled with the loss of a comfortable lifestyle can definitely trigger a defense mechanism, which, left untreated, could permanently alter our perception of reality. We could find our ourselves lost in a fantasy world that resembles the world we believe we would have had, if we had not suffered that loss.

Why not simply work hard to recreate that world then?

Well, when people feel that they have been slighted and unjustly wronged by life, they are more likely to wait for life itself to make it up to them, rather than get their asses up to try and rebuild what they have lost. Also, It could be that they do not have what it takes to recreate that life.

In my example, the father was a rich man. Not the son. What results can an entitled man with average abilities achieve on his own? It's much easier to try and ride on his father's long gone glory and expect handouts from people.

Doesn't he have friends who can shake him back to reality?

You can't always wake people up from their daydreams, and people might even cut you off for criticising their choices.

So when next you come across a bragger, do not get upset with their incessant boasting. Instead, hug them and tell them: "Nobody cares if you wear Gucci. You are just a messed up person who needs help".

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