Take slay queen for example. How did an expression that defines a woman's ability to observe fashion trends and look good become synonymous with "empty headed prostitute"?
Worst of all women are now distancing themselves from the word. Call a woman a slay queen and see her pick offence like you have just called her a prostitute.
Meanwhile patriarchy has also managed to uplift expressions that literally insult and belittle women.
Case study, bride price.
How did an expression that literally means the price that is paid to acquire a bride become synonymous with "appreciation"?
Women are getting more and more educated, but their mental emancipation is not moving at the same pace.
Until they allow patriarchy to keep defining words for them, compliments will be turned into insults, while insults will be turned into compliments.
You don't search within the society to learn the meaning of words. You look into a dictionary. And if you must search within the society, focus on these words turned into actions, rather than on the words themselves.
You will understand that a slay queen is not a sex worker. Instead she's a high maintenance woman who is not accessible to anyhow men. And for that reason, her status is being constantly ridiculed in the hope that she'll break down and allow men of lower status to get access to her. The immoralization of slay queen is a cruel lesson to teach humility to women with standards.
You will also learn that bride price is not a token of appreciation. It's an exchange of money between a previous owner and a new owner. There is a reason why the money is paid by the husband to the father. A father owns his children and a husband owns his wife. However you have been convinced to see this as an act of honour. Just like that white woman who reconnects with her estranged father because she needs him to give her away. Patriarchy preys on a woman's desire for parental approval and societal approval to get her to enter into an ownership contract with a man, and to furthermore make men more important than they truly are.
I am a slay queen, and no amount of sugarcoating can get me to see bride price in a positive light.
Thank goodness I don't even roll with my biological parents, so the issue of a man buying me like a cow will never arise. But even if the issue did arise, I'd choose to forfeit the whole traditional wedding completely. I'm not a custodian of any cultural practices that demean me and make me less of a person.
Patriarchy only exists outside of me. Inside, I am as free as a bird.
No comments:
Post a Comment