As soon as a Nigerian man or woman learns that a woman is married, they automatically assume that she's submissive and "wise". They don't just associate this kind of reasoning with their Nigerian/African women, which would somehow make them right to an extent, but they go as far as thinking that even western born and raised women also conform to that type of marriage.
What they fail to understand is that marriage in Nigeria is very different from marriage in the west. Even the role of the stay at home wife which is considered a traditional role does not follow the same tradition as we understand it in Nigeria.
In the west, stay at home wives are protected under the law, especially the non earning ones. A man can't wake up one day and "throw" her out of the house. There is no such thing as "husband's house" or "father's house", what they know is matrimonial home or family house and parents' house.
In the west marriage is not fixed. If we could compare it to a garment, westerners "sew" their marriage garments to fit their individual uniqueness and peculiarities.
Think of paternity leave and gay marriage; those alone defy the traditional roles we expect of a man and a woman.
In Nigeria, marriage is a fixed garment. There is this ugly, badly sewn, cheap, dumb ready-made dress for the woman and a nice ready- made suit for the man and husband and wife must fit in. The society can allow a misfit for the man, but they don't tolerate a misfit for the woman. If a woman is too small for the dress, she must grow bigger and if she's too big for the dress, she must make herself smaller.
When someone says Michelle, Merkel, Serena and Beyoncé are married therefore they must be playing their traditional roles as wives, that someone doesn't just sound ridiculous, they also sound dumb.
These women will never make themselves smaller to fit into your cheaply sewn wife dress. For crying out loud, Beyoncé has five nannies. Five nannies. Which woman in Nigeria has five nannies?
Even higly accomplished Nigerian women did not become smaller to fit into the description of the good wife: they broke rules and probably burned their own dresses.
There is Nigerian marriage, then there is marriage. Nigerian marriage is what I wish for my enemies, marriage is what I wouldn't mind for myself one day.
And my wife dress? No dresses for me. Just a crop top and a pair of bum-shorts - for easy twerking.
Happy Hoe Life to future me.
And my husband will agree.
And my husband will agree.
No comments:
Post a Comment