You know why they say I'm a mean and wicked person? Because I'm not scared of anybody, especially men. I have never regarded men to be anything special or important; and it makes sense, since biologically, we all, men and women alike, follow the same process to come into this world.
There is no such thing as a special or miraculous birth that makes any human being more important than others. There are just unfortunate circumstances that deviate from the norm. And for every man that was born under one of those circumstances, there is a woman who was born the same way. At the end of the day, things always even out.
So I don't understand why women are irrationally scared of men.
Nigerian women are always so careful around men. They are careful about how they look, what they say, how they say it and how they behave. They place a man's opinion on such a high pedestal that a single criticism from a man is enough to break them, even in the midst of a thousand accolades from other women.
I see these women behaving a certain way with their fellow women and totally switching personality when they are around a man. All of a sudden, they are humble, docile and extremely accommodating.
I know our grooming is responsible for this. We are told that it's a man's world, that they are all powerful and that we must be nice to them to get what we want; then we are told that women are nothing, have nothing and only become something when they get themselves a man, possibly a husband.
I posted about the girl who obsessed over me for three years. She was the classic patriarch princess, even though she wasn't much of a princess. She came from a polygynous home, her father was late, she had been "dating" for money since she was fifteen, and shared a self contain in the most impoverished estate in the city with her mother and her sister. Her only pride was her boyfriend. Her boyfriend who spent on her, neverminding the fact that he was also severely abusive. Around girls, she sounded confident and in control, but around boys, she became meek, silent, almost invisible. She secretly disliked any girl who had a better life than her, especially when that life was the result of parental care. She was a misogynist who hated and despised women, including her own self.
Women who fear men are misogynists. Female misogynists fear and respect men to level nonsense but look at other women with hatred and contempt. The only time a misogynistic woman respects another woman, is when this other woman has ties with a man. Not just a man, but her own man.
These women are the types that will look at a highly successful woman, even they have absolutely nothing to show for themselves, and tell her she's nothing because she has a man and the latter doesn't.
Your money is not money if it doesn't come from a man.
Your status is not relevant if it's not marital.
Your house is not a home if it's not being headed by a man.
Their entire life revolves around pleasing men, seeking them, "bowing" down to them and worshipping them. They think this is natural and that it's in their nature as women to attach so much importance to men, but the truth is that they have been nurtured.
I'm not scared of men. I doubt I'm even scared of anybody.
Just recently I had a misunderstanding with an ex boyfriend and it resulted in an ugly fight. He wasn't expecting that kind of reaction from me. He is a patriarch. He believed that as a man, he was entitled to my respect at all times, especially since he is older than me. He believed that as a man he could talk to me anyhow he pleased, even do as he pleased. He received the shock of his life when I returned the favour in a thousand folds. He finally understood that I wasn't scared of him or scared to put him in his place, so he started behaving the way he should have.
The price for not being scared of men, if we can call it price, is shame. When a woman puts herself on the same level with a man, she's immediately reminded that such behaviour is shameful. And out of shame you will see women losing out over and over again to the men in their lives: fathers, brothers, lovers and husbands.
When a man is indebted to a woman, especially if they were romantically linked, God forbid that the woman demands for her money back. If the man now has another woman in his life, just forget it. You don't want to be called bitter, jealous, desperate and shameless. Forget the money and move on. "He doesn't want you again". But ask yourself these questions: what has that got to do with anything? Who cares whether he's your former lover? Who cares about the other woman? Who cares about the lies he must have told his friends and family?
He's owing you money. You have proof. Then why aren't you going for it? Why are you scared of a man? Who is he? What makes him special? Are you still in love? My dear, when it comes to money, feelings are insignificant. Money trumps feelings when your respect as a person is at stake. Stop trading your respect for the fear of people who hold no power over your life. Get rid of the shame of being derided and go and get what belongs to you.
If you can't make them respect you, let them fear you.
The fear women have for men is nurtured, but the fear a man develops for a woman, after she has "teared eye" for him, is earned.
When I say "I nor dey look person face", I don't mean to sound tough and illogically rude. I simply mean that I'll be nice and sweet to you as long as you are nice and sweet to me. But if anybody steps out of line or goes too far, I'll go for them, man or woman, and I'll go for them really hard.
I live by two principles: self preservation and empathy; and no man born of a woman, like me, is above them.
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