Love Me, Need Me, Possess Me!

My Ideal man has to be handsome, caring, loving and he has to love me very much, so much that he can’t stand being away from me, kissing me and holding me: so much that he can hardly bear seeing someone else talking to me. Hey, wait girl! You have got some issues. OK! Let’s start from the beginning. Your ideal man has to be handsome, well I agree. Who wants ugly children? True they say “monkey nor fine but e mama like am” but let’s face the truth, who can cope with an ugly child? So I won’t discuss this issue. Your ideal man has to be caring. This is necessary. I also want to be cared for, but of course not like a baby. Be very careful his caring doesn’t become paternal or else, uhm…uhm.. I can already see pots and plates flying over the house. Please can you avoid breaking that glass? Thank you. Your ideal man has to love you. This is obvious. So much that he can’t stand your farness, your kisses and your touch. Well I also want my darling to miss me when we are apart. If he didn’t, it would mean he doesn’t need me and if he didn’t need me, then he wouldn’t love me. Ah! Heartless love. How would I live if the man I long so much for didn’t need any part of me? I’d probably console myself with someone else. But if he loved me, so much that…did you say he can’t bear seeing another man around you?...well then there’d be a problem. Girl I have got absolutely nothing against your man being madly in love with you, but I do have issues with him being obsessed with you. Have you perhaps charmed him? Just kidding. Don’t you think if your love got mad over your male friendship, there would be a problem? I know that you love this feeling of meaning something to him, but wait, do you know what that someone thing is? I’ll make an example. I have got three barbies at home and girl I can assure you I have never liked anyone messing with my dolls because they are mine alone. And the same applied to their clothes. My dad bought me those dolls and I bought those clothes with my bloody money. Now I’ll ask: were you given as a present to him or did he buy you? Because that’s the only way his obsession can be justified. Jealous men are sometimes silly. They act like children who need attention. Obsessed men are always very mad, they act like beasts whose meal has been stolen. I don’t want to be the meal for any beast, so I’ll stay away from them. But I want my man to cherish me, to love me, to possess me like I possess him. Ah, girl, to hell with you. Are you nuts? Didn’t you read what I have just written? I have been trying to make you understand that possessive men are to be avoided and here you are saying that you want one because you are also an obsessed beast? That’s how I want my ideal man to be. Fuck you both!